Sometimes it is so hard to keep your opinions

[StormyDixon]

badmouthing and being honest are two different things.
bad mouthing = father is a loser
honesty = we can't afford it (children do NOT deserve an explanation of family finances, IMO)

[ellipses84]

We struggle with this sometimes, too. We always try to answer SS' tough questions honestly without badmouthing BM. We have a clause in our CO that says neither parent shall talk negatively about the other parent to the child. We know BM says awful things to SS about DH (like he doesn't love you, he only pretends to love you) and we've been accused of saying negative things but they were really taken out of context and once we explained what was really said they were NBD. A lot of issues come up regarding parenting styles and BM's questionable life choices. Rather than saying what BM is doing is wrong, we say some people do X and some do Y and leave it at that. SS understands the rules at our house are different than BM's, and his friends houses, etc. Sometimes I'm just speechless, so I'll just acknowledge that I heard what SS said and not say anything else.

[mrsreynolds4]

Jun 15, 2012 10:43:18 GMT -5 StormyDixon said:

badmouthing and being honest are two different things.
bad mouthing = father is a loser
honesty = we can't afford it (children do NOT deserve an explanation of family finances, IMO)

I missed the OP, but this is spot on.

Early on, I was told by a single-parent/blended-family counselor that bad mouthing the other parent is one of the worst things you can do. It can do long-term damage to your child, and the relationship *you* have with them. I have seen this many times over the last 10 years.