How protective are you of time you spend with just your DH and child(ren)? I am asking generally, but am also wondering if you have any friends who find it odd/are offended when you don't want to spend a lot of time with them if you or your DH work long hours and don't get a lot of time together as a family? How do you deal with that?
Post by scribellesam on Jan 1, 2013 15:37:25 GMT -5
The majority of our friends have babies or young children at this point, so I think we all tend to be on the same page. For our remaining single/childless friends, I simply offer times/activities that work for our family and we hang out or not depending on their preference.
I think it would be harder if we had been among the first of our friends to have a kid, though. I remember rolling my eyes at how "rigid" and uncompromising our friends were about their baby's schedule before we were parents ourselves.
We're pretty protective. We very very rarely accept invitations for anything on weeknights, even from nearby family. Weeknight meals are family time. I know that annoys some people, but I just say "oh sorry we already have dinner plans tonight, how about Saturday?" Weeknights are just too hectic for guests. DH gets home at 6 and we have to fit making/eating dinner, feeding pets, farm chores, and DS's bedtime routine between 6 and 7:30 (his bedtime). The way I "deal with that" is I decided when DS was born to make our family (me, DH, and DS) the priority. Not other family, friends, work, etc... If something disrupts our family life we just say no. Plain and simple.
We of course make exceptions for special occasions/circumstances, like when my Mom asked us to come to Christmas Eve church from 6-7:30. I was really surprised how good DS was!
May I ask why you're asking? If your life feels too hectic or you feel like you're spending time with everyone *but* your DH & kids, try cutting some activities or declining invitations from friends. Saying "no" can be very cathartic.
we like most of our non-work time to be family time. We don't do a ton of stuff with the guys/girls b/c of this. Our friends are similar- so it's not an issue. If i had "friends" who were offended that I wanted to spend quality time with my family vs with them- i'd reconsider the friendship. sounds immature.
we like most of our non-work time to be family time. We don't do a ton of stuff with the guys/girls b/c of this. Our friends are similar- so it's not an issue. If i had "friends" who were offended that I wanted to spend quality time with my family vs with them- i'd reconsider the friendship. sounds immature.
This is exactly how we feel too. And most of our friends have kids and understand/feel the same way.
We are super protective of our weekends, as this is our only family time.DHs parents feel that they are entitled to a visit every other weekend regardless of our schedule. DH agreed to cut this back with them, as it makes it very hard to see anyone else socially & still have family time.