Why is the decision for #2 so difficult?

[peachdragon]

Can anyone relate? And, how did you decide?

We adopted our baby girl when she was a newborn. When she was 9 months old, I was certain I wanted another one. But now that she's almost 15 months old, I'm almost certain that I don't.

She is getting to be so "independent," and we can take her to so many more places now. I just know that a new baby will keep us more homebound for a year. I am so excited to go to Disney world when A is 3.5, and when I think that there may be another child (my husband would say yes right away), it makes me want to hold out until the youngest is 3.5...

I also was not a fan of the first 6 months, LOL. I have never been a "baby" person, and I guess I'm still not. I'm more like a guy in that regard, I guess: I prefer when they start to have more obvious personalities.

I guess getting through those first couple of years wouldn't really take that long, and then I'd have two wonderful children to love...

FTR, I'm an only child, and I loved it.

[statlerwaldorf]

The decision to have a second child was easy for us, but we are having a hard time trying to decide how far to go as far as treatments or adoption. We've pretty much exhausted all IUI options at this point and are trying to decide whether to pursue adoption, pursue IVF, or give up. We have no IF coverage, so either way it is going to be expensive. I already feel guilty for how much we've spent this far. That money could've been used toward DD's education and we don't even have anything to show for it.

[blindyswife]

I wouldn't say it's a difficult decision for me, but it have struggled with the decision more than I thought that I would. I mean, I know I want more children, but thinking about not being able to devote the same amount of time/energy/love onto Linus makes me kind of sad. And, he's been weaned for three months and dang it's been awesome having my boobs back. And, he sleeps so good now, do I really want to start over from scratch?

But simultaneously, I know that I want another. That I want him to have a sibling. And somehow all the worries I have about having two isn't enough to keep my baby fever at bay.

[littlemermaid]

The decision for us to have #2 was easy. We wanted a sibling for our first child. And yes the first year or 2 are difficult but it passes. I am also not a baby stage person. My children are 11 & 9 years old and when I look back it's just a blip on the screen. It may seem like forever when you are going through those stages but looking back it was a small sacrifice of time to have 2 beautiful children. And please don't look at it as what you will be missing out on, look at it as what you will be gaining, another beautiful child.

[Deleted]

We didn't "decide" we had an oops when DS1 was 10 months old. We wanted 2 kids but not that close together. Honestly, I am SO extremely happy that it went that way even though it was REALLY crazy (and still is, but we are finally coming otu of the woods now that DS2 is 15 months). Looking back I think it would have been so much harder to get the first kid to preschool or kindergarten only to start over with the baby stuff. Though don't get me wrong - constant babies / diapers / no sleep for 3 + years is no picnic all the time. I have no regrets and I'm actually happy to not have to decide when the timing is right! haha.