Refusing the bottle

[Brie]

So Charlie has always been a champ at taking bottles. We started at 3W and he would get one every week or two. No problems.

H and I went on a date Saturday. My mom watched him and said he would take a little bit but then refused and started screaming. I had H try to get him to take a bottle today--he would take one sip and start hysterically crying. I went upstairs and he still refused. Same type of bottle (Tommee Tippee) that he's always taken, and we also tried the Medela ones that came with my pump. No dice. He worked himself into a frenzy and screamed his head off until I came and BFed him. He was obviously hungry because he latched right on and ate and calmed down right away.

He starts DC tomorrow and I am freaking out at the thought of him screaming like he was earlier all day with a stranger. Like, epic want to quit my job freaking out.

Help.

[Deleted]

This makes me think of a blog post by a mommy blogger

[Deleted]

Ahhh! Pushed send too soon!

Makes me think of a post by a mommy blogger I follow; google Julia, Life in Transition. Her daughter was born in May and I think taking a bottle was a huge challenge. Maybe a couple of posts in September or so. Her daughter eventually figured it out.

I have no real advice for you, other than to push forward with the plan you had. It might be rough for the first week, but Charlie will figure it out eventually. It might be something that you have to totally disengage from; take a walk while your husband feeds him from a bottle, etc.

Good luck Brie! Keep reminding yourself "this is just a phase!"

[huskymom]

Did you taste the milk? Fresh, frozen? Maybe lipase?

[Saudade]

My DS would not take a bottle after we got back to breastfeeding. He finally took one between 5 and 6 months. I had to have two follow up CTs and I was supposed to pump and dump for 24 hours. DS held out for 7 hours each time.

Your DS will be fine at daycare. He will take a bottle and if he doesn't the first couple days he will be fine. Daycare providers are magical.

[water*drop]

DD did this. She took a bottle fine at first, and then we took a few weeks off, and she just stopped taking it. We found a bottle system that she'd take at least a sip or two from before flipping out (I wouldn't actually suggest doing this - it didn't help that much, and we spent a ton of money when the end result probably would have been the same if we had just stuck with what we had), and then kept trying even though we really made no progress.

We had a couple of weeks before I went back to work, so we started with just playing with the bottle and got to the point where she'd tolerate it in her mouth (but wouldn't suck). Eventually we just happened to stumble upon the fact that she would do better if we weren't holding her. She still will only take a bottle from DH if she's on the floor, in the swing, or anyplace other than in his arms, although daycare says that she eats with them holding her just fine.

The first couple of days at daycare were really rough -she barely ate. She still doesn't eat much at daycare, but she doesn't fight the bottle. We did have to go to small (2-3 oz) bottles every two hours at daycare (offered regardless of whether or not she's acting hungry) for a while to keep her gaining weight because she wasn't eating more at night to make up for it and I was working super long hours. Now she gets slightly bigger (4-5 oz) bottles every 2.5-3 hours at daycare, and she does fine with that (she also started getting up more to eat at night...).

Remember, babies that STTN go 8-10+ hours without eating, so even if he doesn't eat at all at daycare for a couple of days, he'll be fine (although he might be up all night).

Good luck! I was really stressed out about it, but it's fine now, even if it isn't completely ideal.

[water*drop]

Jan 1, 2013 16:05:06 GMT -5 @ojo said:

I don't have any real advice since I gave up trying bottles, but I had a conversation with my pediatrician about it. She had a baby the same week I had the boys and she said every single Monday her baby refuses bottles at daycare because he's had all weekend to get it straight from the breast. She said he nurses like crazy Monday nights when they're together again, then Tuesdays he's back to the bottle like nothing happened. She said he seems distracted and busy enough at daycare that even though he's hungry, he's not a grump. He plays fine and is in a decent mood.

This is also true for DD.

[Mushe]

We had to supplement for the first month or so, and my kid would go back and forth no problem. We got lazy about the bottle, and he hated them by the time he started daycare at 4 months.

DCP said he was fine within a few days, but we also started hearing the milk up pretty hot. Also, I read to tilt the nipple towards the roof of their mouth until they really start sucking, then tilt it back so it flows out.

I hope C gets it soon! This was the biggest stressor for me in going back to work, but it was a non issue after a few days.

[pugz]

I'm sorry I'm sure it's stressful! Squirms doesn't like to be held when she takes the bottle. We lay her in the boppy so she has room to flail and kick and she is much happier.

I think the DCP will figure it out, I'm sure it's not the first time they've had a baby that is not happy about the bottle. C may reverse cycle some this week, but I bet he'll figure it out quick!

[mmmomof2]

My first thought was lipase. Does it smell/taste off?

[Deleted]

If it's not something off about the milk itself, I have confidence that the daycare will be able to figure it out. Worst case scenario, you have to leave work to go feed him, right? Maybe that's not so bad

[curbsideprophet]

DD was horrible at taking a bottle. Going to daycare helped a lot. She never got great at it and transitioned to a cup quickly, but things were much better after she started daycare. I did go and nurse her on my lunch break the first week just because I was concerned. It all turned out fine. I did nurse if she woke up in the middle of the night.

[Brie]

Thanks guys. The milk was fresh and not lipased as far as I could tell. But you're right, he goes long stretches overnight and is fine. And they're experts. DC is about half an hour from work (just around the corner from home) so going in to nurse on lunch wouldn't work.

You can call and check on them, right?

[pugz]

yes call and check! It's just 3 days this week and then the weekend C's gonna be great and you will be fine! And you can always quit and hang out with me

[MrsDarcy]

Good luck, Brie!

[Deleted]

My DD refused the bottle too (though in her case she NEVER took it... I think you have hope since he took it in the past!). I don't have any specific advice other than what PPs have said (I had the lipase issue myself) but you have a short week and I bet he will figure it out quickly in the new environment. Good luck!

[catbus]

Agreed with others regarding holding the baby. E only will take a bottle from H is he's lying on H's lap, NOT cradle held. Also, we have him take a bottle at least every other day. I heard that you have to keep it up in order for the baby to "remember" how to take a bottle (I don't think they actually forget; more like they learn how awesome the boob is and just don't want to deal with this other thing). Even so, E went through a period a few weeks back where he flipped out whenever he was offered the bottle. He was also being a crank about a lot of other stuff... we finally figured out it was a Wonder Week. When the cranky fog lifted, he went back to being totally fine with the bottle. Fun times.

[pugz]

and keep in mind the last 2 weeks have been chaos at your house, so he's probably just out of sorts from all the visitors

[Ashley&Scott]

M is not a fan of the bottle. I would recommend sending more small bottles to daycare until he gets the hang of it. In the beginning we were sending 8 1oz bottles with M to prevent waste.

Other things that worked: laying on his changing pad, music playing, really warm milk, walking around while feeding him.

Of course call to check on him. I called 2-3 times a day those first few weeks, then once a day for a while after that. Heck I still call occasionally if he has had a rough night.

Good luck!

[grk2012]

Minor thought here: do the bottle nipples need to go up a flow size? If my only-bottlefed DS couldn't get it fast enough, he'd get cranky during a feeding.

[Brie]

Jan 1, 2013 20:27:43 GMT -5 grk2012 said:

Minor thought here: do the bottle nipples need to go up a flow size? If my only-bottlefed DS couldn't get it fast enough, he'd get cranky during a feeding.

Hmm, this may be. I have an over active letdown so he's used to chugging.

[fortmyersbride]

DD did something similar when I went back to work at 4 months. Even though she'd started having an occasional bottle at 2 days old, she just didn't care for them. My first day back to work she went 6 hrs before she broke down and took 2 ozs. And from that point on she took 8oz on my 8hr days and 12 ozs on my 12 hr days. She could not be coerced to take more, and she always made up for it by cluster feeding when I was home. She never suffered any ill effects from doing so. So even if he doesn't quite adjust to it, he might just need to do some cluster feeding or reverse cycling and he'll easily make up the milk.

[Deleted]

DD has only refused the bottle once so far while my dad was watching her. I came back and she nursed like crazy.

I think with daycare he will just need to adjust a smidge...either he will take the bottle because it's the only option or he will reverse cycle a bit.

DD has been super distracted nursing the past couple of days so last night DH gave her a bottle before we went out and she got mad at him because he was holding the bottle. So he let go and she fed herself. And she was kicking and squirming around happy as a clam.

I have no advice other than to try not to worry too much. DD has been in daycare for 4 weeks and it has been so great for her (and me). And yes, definitely call and check on him if it makes you feel better!!

[holly116]

Hugs and good luck tomorrow. I don't have much to add since you've received some great advice and ideas, but I can empathize. My DD never took a bottle, so I was determined to get DS to take one, and same thing as you, he did just fine then, bam, right before we were supposed to leave him for the first time to go to a wedding, it was a no go.

So, he crashed his first wedding at the age of 5 months. I didn't push it further since I SAH and I'm just so thankful to be able to nurse after having a traumatic start this time around, but dear God am I looking forward to next month when he turns one and we can introduce WCM.

I'll be thinking of you, and hopefully your little guy will follow in his parent's footsteps and overachieve on his first day of daycare.