A fun observation about the Bump.

[Deleted]

I've never minded the Bump in all honesty. I'm pretty thick skinned and know when to just back away from the martyr moms and drama. There's also one board I like to check in on that's pretty tame.

Anyways, I find myself having standard stock answers in my head for most of those posts. Which are pretty much limited to:

A) It's normal.

B) Yes, you are expecting a lot of your 3 year old to have dinner made, room cleaned and grad school applications filled out when you get home from work.

C) That's not really a problem.

D) Yoga pants are still pants.

E) You're worried about what now? Come again?

F) I have never asked my awesome daycare provider to instruct a physics class or work on her Phd.

G) Only on the internet to pregnant women avoid everything but water and organic salad.

H) Being a SAHM is a job in itself. If you want to WAHM without daycare it's realistically not going to happen. Unless you are the daycare.

No real point...just hoping someone can relate with me.

**Runs away from the Bump Police trying to steal my Mom of the Year crown!**


PS...I'm being TIC here. Last time I made a Bump post I took slack from someone about how I should appreciate everything they have ever done for me. I do. I truly do. Still doesn't mean I can't point out the fun.

[thewop]

LOL :Y:

[bunnymendelbaum]

D is my fav.

I just replied to a thread about the last one. I was able to be a WAHM for a short amount of time with no childcare only because all the stars aligned perfectly. I know this.
I think there are tons of women who expect too much of themselves or let their husbands expect too much of them.

[MrsMB]

Dairy = voice of reason.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 18:58:54 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

D is my fav.

I just replied to a thread about the last one. I was able to be a WAHM for a short amount of time with no childcare only because all the stars aligned perfectly. I know this.
I think there are tons of women who expect too much of themselves or let their husbands expect too much of them.

I totally agree. I farm with Rubes when not at school and it's hard. So much so that she's in daycare an extra 1/2 day for the winter so I can. I get through it faster and have more time with her that way actually. And she's a lot happier not freezing, watching me milk cows for 3 hours.

And yeah, there's tons of girls holding themselves to ridiculous standards..or like you said their husbands do.

H doesn't care what I do with my day as long as I do the obvious necessities grown adults do.

I'm like... Hmm..nobody's sick. Nobody's bleeding. We all got clothes on. We all got fed. We're having a good day. I deserve a beer!

[ssmjlm]

LOL, I love how women are all, but I can work at home and take care of baby.

Umm yeah, no. My work requires proof of childcare for WFH and that's only 1x a week!

[bunnymendelbaum]

Yea, the chick I'm talking about was expect to watch her two kids, get 2hrs of work done and complete a list of chores (her husband gave her) everyday.

If my husband gave me a list of chores that must be completed everyday he'd find them right up his ass.

Also, she also made reference to wishing her 50s housewife grandma was around to tell her how she got everything done. Um, I'm willing to bet her grandmother had family living 2 doors down, paid help, and let her kids run around the neighborhood and play all day.

Some women have such f'ed up expectations for themselves based on fiction.

[kristilynnmy]

I freaking HATE the bump with a passion. lol. I may or may not have posted a question on the toddler board the other day... I got good feedback for once! But ya I just figure most stuff out for myself or ask the Dr. because half those people don't know their ass from their mouth. BURNNNNN.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:32:05 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

Yea, the chick I'm talking about was expect to watch her two kids, get 2hrs of work done and complete a list of chores (her husband gave her) everyday.

If my husband gave me a list of chores that must be completed everyday he'd find them right up his ass.

Also, she also made reference to wishing her 50s housewife grandma was around to tell her how she got everything done. Um, I'm willing to bet her grandmother had family living 2 doors down, paid help, and let her kids run around the neighborhood and play all day.

Some women have such f'ed up expectations for themselves based on fiction.

I read that post too I'm pretty sure!
My mom talks about how raising kids was actually easier in the day becuase she wasn't expected to do it all, entertain kids ewith stimulating activities muchless shuttle them to Advanced Art for PreK and Basket Weaving for Newborns. It also wasn't taboo to call in the teenage babysitters. She freely admits she kicked outside to play so she could stuff done and didn't know where the hell we were half the time and didn't really care on the bad days.

[Deleted]

And yeah that'd be the day my husband tells me what house cleaning tasks need to be done.
The most he ever says is "Can you bring me a lunch, I won't be in today." or "Can you get my coat washed and dried before morning, it got really wet and gross tonight." Nothing earth shattering and he asks for his reasonable requests politely and knows better if I'm busy or stressed.

[prazenjc]

i try to sort thru the crap to find helpful information. for the most part i've gotten it on the more specialty boards (SAIF, preemies, etc.). whenever i go to the boards for the supposed normal parents, i struggle to sort thru the snark, drama, ignorant, etc. to find helpful information. but, i do take the time and try to do that, as well.

[Deleted]

I've never hung out there but have read enough posts to know there are some crazies. These martyr moms - does motherhood make them flip out so or are they generally neurotic to begin with?

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 21:48:54 GMT -5 downtonali said:

I've never hung out there but have read enough posts to know there are some crazies. These martyr moms - does motherhood make them flip out so or are they generally neurotic to begin with?

It's a debatable question. I know a few IRL that were as grounded on earth, normal and relaxed as they come. Then they had a kid and it all began.

I also know a few IRL on the Bump whom I gather have always been like that. From reading posts they're not only overly uptight about their kids but every other little problem in real life is an issue as well.

[katie4253]

Jan 2, 2013 18:58:54 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

D is my fav.

I just replied to a thread about the last one. I was able to be a WAHM for a short amount of time with no childcare only because all the stars aligned perfectly. I know this.
I think there are tons of women who expect too much of themselves or let their husbands expect too much of them.

Yes. And to add to that, get pissed when other people's H's do more than theirs. Uhhh...yes my H does laundry. Please don't make me feel bad because of it, manage your own damn H please!

[Deleted]

Jan 3, 2013 21:01:46 GMT -5 katie4253 said:

Jan 2, 2013 18:58:54 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

D is my fav.

I just replied to a thread about the last one. I was able to be a WAHM for a short amount of time with no childcare only because all the stars aligned perfectly. I know this.
I think there are tons of women who expect too much of themselves or let their husbands expect too much of them.

Yes. And to add to that, get pissed when other people's H's do more than theirs. Uhhh...yes my H does laundry. Please don't make me feel bad because of it, manage your own damn H please!

Ha! I agree with you. Everyone is so wrapped up in everyone else's life some days. That and the same girls who b*tch about what their Hs do or don't do come off as total nags a good share of the time. Sometimes I just want to write..."It's no wonder. Are you listening to yourself? By your own admission he has not 23523523 of the 5754754 tasks correct!"

I also feel like a pariah on the Bump, becuase my H does very little household stuff. People don't understand it's not about being a mommy's boy, weird expectations on his part, laziness or whatever. Simple fact is he works 100 hours a week. I work like 30ish. I have a lot more time on my hands than he does. It's a matter of we have sh*t to do and someone needs to do it. We don't have time to argue about it!

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:32:05 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

Yea, the chick I'm talking about was expect to watch her two kids, get 2hrs of work done and complete a list of chores (her husband gave her) everyday.

If my husband gave me a list of chores that must be completed everyday he'd find them right up his ass.

Also, she also made reference to wishing her 50s housewife grandma was around to tell her how she got everything done. Um, I'm willing to bet her grandmother had family living 2 doors down, paid help, and let her kids run around the neighborhood and play all day.

Some women have such f'ed up expectations for themselves based on fiction.

I need the link to this!

[bunnymendelbaum]

Here's the link:
m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70935025.aspx

I know I nag DH too much, but it is hard when I feel so unappreciated.

[Deleted]

Jan 4, 2013 8:45:30 GMT -5 bunnymendelbaum said:

Here's the link:
m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/70935025.aspx

I know I nag DH too much, but it is hard when I feel so unappreciated.

Oh Bunny..I hope you didnt' mean I meant you. I didn't at all. It was just a general expectation. You know the type over there. THe ones that never shut, the ones who Hs can't pack the dishwasher right, sweep right or even pee correctly for that matter.

You're not like that at all. You're busy, pregnant and a lot on your plate. Also the little bit you say on here you have legit complaints....it's more than he didn't wash my underwear correctly.

It's different.

I nag H a lot to be honest. Not because of housework, but because he gets so wrapped up in his work he forgets about me and the fact that I don't want to be alone every day and night all day. Farming with him is great, but I want fun stuff to as part of "quality time."

Anyone who doesn't nag at least sometimes is lying IMO. We all do it.

[bunnymendelbaum]

HA!
No worries. I'm just aware that I do it and it annoys me.

Plus it was on my mind last night. My DH is completely the same with getting wrapped up in work. He thinks his work is SO important and vital. He is just like "I need to work" ALL THE F'ING TIME lately and just leaves me to do everything else.

The worst part is that I KNOW he isn't billing all his hours. IMO, if you aren't billing, it isn't working and I shouldn't be expected to do everything else when you aren't really working.

We were talking last night that he needs to set working hours.

[Deleted]

I hear you. I know H is busy and the farm takes a lot. I'm also glad he loves what he does and is so driven. But jeez...have some drive for your wife somedays too. It's going to be even worse for awhile, because we're e. student less. I told him come Feb. though we're getting date night back twice a month and his afternoon Sunday time is for me and Rubes. I'm not asking for much here.

There used to be a busy season and less busy season around here. Now it's just busy and busier. And I'm not even sure what's changed. We haven't made any major farm changes. My H is just getting more and more, "MUST DO ALL THE THINGS MYSELF BECAUSE NO ELSE CAN!"