My silly fear re moving

[Deleted]

I've resolved that I'm moving. I've moved out of state before, and it was successful. (Except that I hate Montana) I'm not worried about finding a place, or even cool people to live with. I'm not worried about finding a job (I'll have that before I move.) I'm not worried about making new friends.

I'm worried that I'll lose my "socialite" status. 8-D

Ridiculous I know. Silly and stupid. #FWP.

Tell me there's something more important I should be worrying about?

[w2w]

What is that?

[Deleted]

Socialites don't bartend.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 18:55:43 GMT -5 @w2w said:

What is that?

UT nightlife is small. I've worked in it for the last 5 years so I've got connections. I have't paid for a concert, VIP booth or bottle service, etc in a really long time.


Moving means a much smaller pool of connections. I'm looking at bigger cities that aren't as small as UT.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 18:59:48 GMT -5 v said:

Socialites don't bartend.

Did you read the quotes around socialite?

Clearly, I'm not a Paris Hilton socialite.


ETA - The title of this post should indicate that it is a SILLY fear and not one that I'm taking seriously. But a light-hearted fear. It is more tongue-in-cheek than serious.

[w2w]

Jan 2, 2013 19:00:50 GMT -5 blissanity said:

Jan 2, 2013 18:55:43 GMT -5 @w2w said:

What is that?

UT nightlife is small. I've worked in it for the last 5 years so I've got connections. I have't paid for a concert, VIP booth or bottle service, etc in a really long time.


Moving means a much smaller pool of connections. I'm looking at bigger cities that aren't as small as UT.

Got it. With some focused attention, I am sure you can be in the same situation in your new city.

[Deleted]

Or if you secure a well-paying job, you'll be able to afford these things on your own.

Depending on where you move though, I could see becoming a small fish in a big pond a bit of a struggle.

[steph96]

We moved 75 miles and our social life completely died. It sucks.

The hardest part is that at our age range, other people start having other priorities. They are either starting busy careers, getting married, or starting a family. Going to the bar becomes a special occasion instead of a weekly thing. I feel like everyone already has their "group" and they aren't willing to eat anyone new in.

You seem like wayyy more of a social butterfly than me, so I'm sure you will have better luck

[bronxgirl]

Do you know where you're moving yet, or is that still up in the air? In my case I found that my social life picked up a lot when I moved b/c people are much more open to making friends in my current city vs. my previous one.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:23:44 GMT -5 steph96 said:

The hardest part is that at our age range, other people start having other priorities. They are either starting busy careers, getting married, or starting a family.

this does not compute.

we are the same age, and I sometimes feel like the odd one out in my friend group. very few of them have serious boyfriends, and none of them live with guys. kids and marriage? forgetaboutit.

I will say, though, I see the age difference with my boyfriend's friend group. he's 2.5 years older and a lot of his close friends have started serious relationships post-college. I feel a wave of engagements/move-ins coming!

[marylou]

My best friend moved from our small town to Miami and kept her "socialite" status. And it was even bigger and better because there was so much more to offer there. So as long as you are truly as good of a time as you say, then you'll be fine.

[steph96]

Jan 2, 2013 19:32:01 GMT -5 tacom said:

Jan 2, 2013 19:23:44 GMT -5 steph96 said:

The hardest part is that at our age range, other people start having other priorities. They are either starting busy careers, getting married, or starting a family.

this does not compute.

we are the same age, and I sometimes feel like the odd one out in my friend group. very few of them have serious boyfriends, and none of them live with guys. kids and marriage? forgetaboutit.

I will say, though, I see the age difference with my boyfriend's friend group. he's 2.5 years older and a lot of his close friends have started serious relationships post-college. I feel a wave of engagements/move-ins coming!

I went through my high school yearbook. I graduated with close to 500 people and over half of them have a kid or they are married. About 1/3 of the people in my college classes were married or had kids. We like to marry young here.

[Deleted]

I have 5 cities that I'm looking at relocating too. Depends on where I get a job offer. I'll know 1-4 people depending on where I go.

I'm just accustomed to my lifestyle so it's weird to change it. Having to pay for things is like the MM equivalent of losing 75% of your income. LOL.

[Deleted]

I'm way older than tacom and steph and my friends are just now starting to have kids (and like half of them are still single). A lot depends on where you live!

So does making friends. Bronxgirl is absolutely right that in some places people are very open to making new friends. I've definitely found that here too.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:36:49 GMT -5 steph96 said:

I went through my high school yearbook. I graduated with close to 500 people and over half of them have a kid or they are married. About 1/3 of the people in my college classes were married or had kids. We like to marry young here.

1/3 at your college?! wow. we had two girls get pregnant that I know of.

I get the hometown thing though. both of my childhood/high school best friends have toddlers now. I needed to move, lol.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:33:52 GMT -5 marylou said:

My best friend moved from our small town to Miami and kept her "socialite" status. And it was even bigger and better because there was so much more to offer there. So as long as you are truly as good of a time as you say, then you'll be fine.

Thanks!! That's a great way to think about it.

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:36:49 GMT -5 steph96 said:

Jan 2, 2013 19:32:01 GMT -5 tacom said:

this does not compute.

we are the same age, and I sometimes feel like the odd one out in my friend group. very few of them have serious boyfriends, and none of them live with guys. kids and marriage? forgetaboutit.

I will say, though, I see the age difference with my boyfriend's friend group. he's 2.5 years older and a lot of his close friends have started serious relationships post-college. I feel a wave of engagements/move-ins coming!

I went through my high school yearbook. I graduated with close to 500 people and over half of them have a kid or they are married. About 1/3 of the people in my college classes were married or had kids. We like to marry young here.

I definitely think this is a big city vs small town USA thing.

My sister (who lives in Chicago) recently married a guy from Kansas who is in his mid thirties. I swear I must have heard 10 times the weekend of the wedding "we were so worried he was never going to get married!". Apparently everyone else in his family/circle of friends is already on their second marriage or has teenagers (or both).

Bliss I'm not gonna lie, making friends in a new place as an adult sucks. But you're a lot more social than I am so I am sure you'll get out there and meet people. I think it probably also helps that you're single. If you move to a big city I'm sure you'll meet plenty of other people your age who are social. And hopefully have connections

[Deleted]

Jan 2, 2013 19:58:02 GMT -5 @buckybells said:

Bliss I'm not gonna lie, making friends in a new place as an adult sucks. But you're a lot more social than I am so I am sure you'll get out there and meet people. I think it probably also helps that you're single. If you move to a big city I'm sure you'll meet plenty of other people your age who are social. And hopefully have connections

This is true. Also, just be careful in your research that you're picking a city with not only an active social life, but specifically one that fits what you like. And try to live in a neighborhood that is convenient to places where you'll want to hang out. That can increase your socializing as well.

[Deleted]

FTR, most of my current friends are 25-50 and are on their 2nd/3rd kids. Or have teenagers. Oh and a few 2nd marriages and divorces are around the corner.

I'm the odd ball with no kids and never been married at 26. LOL.

Thanks, Bucky!!