Anything worse than a platitude from your spouse?

[liveintheville]

I was bitching to my H, on IM, about Kid 1's non stop talking (I swear to god he will not shut up and it's a freaking monolog, not a conversation) and his response was, "well you'll look back on this and miss it someday."
WTF? If I wanted that kind of response I'd have called my mom. So much for spousal sympathy :@

[ssmjlm]

Well tonight I was talking to him and then he snored. Thanks for listening honey!

But yes I regularly have to say that's not the right response sweetie.

[Kore]

Grr! Sometimes, a "that is annoying" expression of sympathy is all that's needed. Not words of wisdom or suggestions to fix the "problem." A lot of people don't understand that.

[UMaineTeach]

your response "and today is not that day"

sorry dude

[Pilsy]

Jan 2, 2013 20:23:24 GMT -5 Kore said:

Grr! Sometimes, a "that is annoying" expression of sympathy is all that's needed. Not words of wisdom or suggestions to fix the "problem." A lot of people don't understand that.

Can I get an amen?

[Deleted]

That's exactly something my mother would say! You just need someone to say, "I know, I wish that MFing kid would STFU!"

If it helps at all...DH and I have had many, many arguments about this type of thing. He's a "problem-solver" too. We agreed that I will try to tell him what I need (e.g., I need for you to just listen, I need for you to bitch about this with me, etc.) or he asks what I need (e.g., what are you looking for from me?).

[liveintheville]

See?! These are all wonderful responses! Thank you!

I think the kicker was it's his first day back at work after having a week off, and he's probably thrilled to be away from crazy. One day of peace does not allow him to wax philosophically about parenting.

[jayha]

Jan 2, 2013 20:45:45 GMT -5 smileyface said:

That's exactly something my mother would say! You just need someone to say, "I know, I wish that MFing kid would STFU!"

If it helps at all...DH and I have had many, many arguments about this type of thing. He's a "problem-solver" too. We agreed that I will try to tell him what I need (e.g., I need for you to just listen, I need for you to bitch about this with me, etc.) or he asks what I need (e.g., what are you looking for from me?).

Oh god. I have a problem-solver on my hands too. It makes me ragey and then he gets ragey and then it's a full-blown fight before we know it. I've gotten better about asking myself if I'm up for hearing advice or criticism before I open my mouth to bitch, but sometimes I slip up. And he is getting better about keeping his trap shut when he can sense I just need someone to agree with me. But it's an ongoing struggle.

[hski2349]

Jan 2, 2013 20:23:24 GMT -5 Kore said:

Grr! Sometimes, a "that is annoying" expression of sympathy is all that's needed. Not words of wisdom or suggestions to fix the "problem." A lot of people don't understand that.

I completely agree. Why don't they get this?

[zeewifeandmama]

Jan 2, 2013 20:23:24 GMT -5 Kore said:

Grr! Sometimes, a "that is annoying" expression of sympathy is all that's needed. Not words of wisdom or suggestions to fix the "problem." A lot of people don't understand that.

Yes! Exactly!

Ugh sorry OP, it's been a rough day over here too!

[DarcyLongfellow]

I'm sorry! I think most guys can be like that :-)

I will straight up tell DH, "I just want you to say, 'I'm so sorry, honey, that sucks.' not solve my problem." Then I make him say exactly that back to me :-)

[bunnysmom]

My DH will often do that, and I hate it. What drives me nuts is especially when he tries to organise my day as in I make a comment about what a busy day I'm having or what things need to be done and he goes "well, but if you go first to x and then you do x and later you pick up x, etc." It makes me irrationally angry...

[SJ]

Oh man, I am the fixer in our relationship.

Poor DH