As far as newbie bashing, I don't think that's really happening here, but posting once, and then posting a BFP as your second post, is annoying.
Perhaps if we included a little bit of etiquette, that might help that. It's a public message board though, and there are always going to be idiots, lol.
I'm open to revisiting the sticky, but I'm trying to imagine how we could do that usefully. I mean, how do you tell someone that yes, it's ok to come here to discuss charting and learn, but if you get a BFP your first time out, don't tell us..? We can be sad, but you can't be lucky/happy? IDK. I think it's a fine line between avoiding the irksome posts and being borderline militant.
How is someone who joins the board when they start TTC and then gets pregnant quickly supposed to know that is going to happen? And why should they get shit for posting about it if it happens?
This right here is the *whole point* of this thread. People should be allowed to come to the GP whenever they're ready and post about whatever they want. We all agree with that.
This particular thread was started with a question about if their would/should be a sub-board for those experiencing TROUBLE TTC. If that happens, those of us that are annoyed by the type of post that has been mentioned in my earlier thread can stick to our TTTC board and whatever goes on here won't really annoy us as much because we'll have a board to avoid it.
Does this make sense to you now?
And, FWIW, very little shit has been given to anybody on this board since it got busy. This is pretty much the most "flamey" thread ever on the GBCN GP board.
Autumn, I feel like you can't get beyond the fact that it bothers them. You've made it clear that you don't share the feeling at this point (and may never). But they don't need to justify how they feel -- it's just a fact that they feel that way. So if they want somewhere else to go to be shielded from it, it sounds like it would do some good.
As far as newbie bashing, I don't think that's really happening here, but posting once, and then posting a BFP as your second post, is annoying.
Perhaps if we included a little bit of etiquette, that might help that. It's a public message board though, and there are always going to be idiots, lol.
I'm open to revisiting the sticky, but I'm trying to imagine how we could do that usefully. I mean, how do you tell someone that yes, it's ok to come here to discuss charting and learn, but if you get a BFP your first time out, don't tell us..? We can be sad, but you can't be lucky/happy? IDK. I think it's a fine line between avoiding the irksome posts and being borderline militant.
Fasthand - Totally okay if newbies get lucky. wish I had been. What's sucky though are the people who come in, don't even introduce, post 10 zillion pee-sticks in their first post while simultaneously asking what AF means and 10 minutes later posting their AWish OMG I've got a BFP. That's not lucky, that's insanely annoying!
I think we can find a way to work (perhaps friendlier than I do) that GP etiquette says don't effing just come in here to show your pee sticks if we don't know you and boast your BFP after half a day of trying. Do that in Got pregnant or something.
I think we all need to realize everyone is at a diff stage of the game right now and try to be respectful of that. Veterans needs to remember we were all newbies at one point and newbies need to realize TTC may not be a walk in the park and some questions need to be phrased differently. Also, I think the basic TTC questions may be asked not only for answers but so people can have a dialogue and not just look at google for 10 conflicting responses. I think we need to look at this process as a learning experience and not make people feel bad for being at diff stages of the process.
Yup.
I think being mad at people for talking about all aspects of 'getting pregnant' on the Getting Pregnant board is a bit
That doesn't mean I/we don't have empathy for the ladies who are having trouble TTC, but I don't think that newbies should be getting shit for asking normal TTC related questions or expressing their own experiences here. (EXCEPT for the "whhyyyyyy am I not pregnant on my first try" people.....they also annoy the crap out of me!)
I think it's a great idea to have a TTTC sub-board, but the bashing of the newbies is really ridiculous
I just don't think that starting a new board needs to involve pissing over other people who are just starting out
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY WE NEED THE NEW BOARD Thos of us who have been trying for a crazylong time, or have health issues sometimes really just need to vent about people with their TTC for 2 days tickers. And we don't want to be meanies because we're all so barfingly friendly here.
Just as well as you have the right to your effing ticker, we have the right to want to scream at it. Free country/world/internet you know.
I was just thinking about this the other day. Recently, I've been lurking, but rarely posting because I don't really feel like I belong here. I don't feel like I have much to ask, and I don't feel interested in answering all of the newbie questions for the 100th time. They are absolutely valid, and everyone was new and uninformed at some point. I'm just not getting much out of answering the same types of questions over and over for new rounds of people.
I want a TTTC sub board just to have a group of people that I feel like I can relate to. Honestly, I don't even care if we talk about TTC OR TTTC much at all. Like it or not, fertility troubles are a big part of who I am now, and thankfully, there are a lot of people who cannot relate. I'd just love to get together with those who do.
Oh, and for the record, I am often jealous, bitter, angry, sad, and have all sorts of other crazy emotions. I am still happy for everyone who gets a BFP (easily or not). My feelings are about my situation, and are not directed at anyone else.
Post by EllieArroway on Jan 3, 2013 14:01:23 GMT -5
I went ahead and created the board. It sounds like there is a demand for it & it will be used. If you guys find at you don't want/use it after all I will remove it.
I agree there should be a new board. I had no intention of annoying people with my posts. So, sorry for that. No one is rude, but I do feel like there is an unwritten rule here that you can't be disappointed or frustrated or stressed or anything unless you've been trying for at least, say, 6 months. If there was a new board then maybe people would feel more comfortable. More comfort= more discussion.
I want a TTTC sub board just to have a group of people that I feel like I can relate to. Honestly, I don't even care if we only walk about TTC OR TTTC much at all. Like it or not, fertility troubles are a big part of who I am now, and thankfully, there are a lot of people who cannot relate. I'd just love to get together with those who do.
This just made me almost cry a little. This is absolutely exactly how I feel.
JSYK, I just asked if with the changes going on with the other boards and moving pregnancy/baby related stuff around it was possible/okay to add the sub board. I feel like there are enough people on here who really would like it to warrant it.
Bye guys! I hope you can vent etc there rather than just disappearing and dealing on your own. And I hope you get BFPs! And maybe I'll be joining you soon. lol
Bye guys! I hope you can vent etc there rather than just disappearing and dealing on your own. And I hope you get BFPs! And maybe I'll be joining you soon. lol
Well I hope you won't! I honestly wish everyone that they'll never have to join us over there. but I am glad it's there now :-)
I'll miss those of you who go, but I completely understand your reasons. I'm sure that I asked some dumb questions when I was new (I specifically remember freaking out over OPKs the first time I used them, sorry ), but I hope I wasn't too trying. I'll probably slow down with posting here too because, as I mentioned earlier, I feel like it makes me more obsessed.
One question--at what point is one welcome on the TTTC board? Will that be made clear. I hope I never have to join y'all, but it seems like such a touchy thing--when to start wondering if there's a problem. I know that most people say a year, but even my doctor has told me to come back and talk to her *whenever* I start to feel concerned (I'm not there yet at 3 cycles/4.5 months, fwiw). Maybe that should be a whole new thread/conversation topic unto itself... Anyway, something to think about when you draw up the new board--because I think you can expect people showing up in at various points in their journey.
Fasthands - I suspect many will visit the GP board frequently, and weigh in where we can and want to. The TTTC board simply gives us a place to chat about things w/o having to wade through the rest of the stuff. I know I'll still stick around and cheer people on when they need it and celebrate BFPs for people!
Magpie - I don't think that there's a "date" at which one can/can't come to the TTTC board. If you're having Troubles, pop over. On The Bump (and they were crazy, so no need to fashion it entirely after that particular board!) they said "6 months or more" I think.
I think everybody over there is happy to help out, lend support, provide answers when we can/are needed, etc. I think the general goal is to avoid the "Will you look at my pee stick and see if you see two lines?! Oh, you do?! WONDERFUL I AM PREGNANT YAYAYYAYA!" kind of thing.
I would think that once you truly feel you're having trouble, are talking to a doctor, know you have health issues/have been diagnosed and/or have been charting/temping/opk-ing and have perfectly timed sex for at least 6 cycles (at which point you'll likely be thinking of going to see an RE), you can consider yourself having trouble and are totally welcome.
But that's just my view.
I'm guessing that once it gets going, it'll get to be fairly obvious if someone fits in.
I would think that once you truly feel you're having trouble, are talking to a doctor, know you have health issues/have been diagnosed and/or have been charting/temping/opk-ing and have perfectly timed sex for at least 6 cycles (at which point you'll likely be thinking of going to see an RE), you can consider yourself having trouble and are totally welcome.
But that's just my view.
I'm guessing that once it gets going, it'll get to be fairly obvious if someone fits in.
I would think that once you truly feel you're having trouble, are talking to a doctor, know you have health issues/have been diagnosed and/or have been charting/temping/opk-ing and have perfectly timed sex for at least 6 cycles (at which point you'll likely be thinking of going to see an RE), you can consider yourself having trouble and are totally welcome.
But that's just my view.
I'm guessing that once it gets going, it'll get to be fairly obvious if someone fits in.
Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!
Yeah, I agree Cheesecake.
Ditto plus what Jewel said. And I am sure most of us will still lurk over here once in a while.
I would think that once you truly feel you're having trouble, are talking to a doctor, know you have health issues/have been diagnosed and/or have been charting/temping/opk-ing and have perfectly timed sex for at least 6 cycles (at which point you'll likely be thinking of going to see an RE), you can consider yourself having trouble and are totally welcome.
But that's just my view.
I'm guessing that once it gets going, it'll get to be fairly obvious if someone fits in.
Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!
I'd like to add anyone who has miscarried - even an unplanned pregnancy. It isn't exactly the same but there is pain there. Plus, even if the next cycle is only cycle #2, there is reason for anxiety and fear.
I would think that once you truly feel you're having trouble, are talking to a doctor, know you have health issues/have been diagnosed and/or have been charting/temping/opk-ing and have perfectly timed sex for at least 6 cycles (at which point you'll likely be thinking of going to see an RE), you can consider yourself having trouble and are totally welcome.
But that's just my view.
I'm guessing that once it gets going, it'll get to be fairly obvious if someone fits in.
Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!
I'd like to add anyone who has miscarried - even an unplanned pregnancy. It isn't exactly the same but there is pain there. Plus, even if the next cycle is only cycle #2, there is reason for anxiety and fear.
Agreed.
ETA - "agreed" in that I agree. Not that Sonrisa needed my approval. Just worried after all my bitching around here that it would look like I think I set the rules or something. lol.
Post by realpanther on Jan 3, 2013 20:12:14 GMT -5
I'm obviously a super-newb here, but two boards seems like a good idea. This way both groups can speak more freely about what's going on at their respective stages of the game. :Y: