Trouble TTC board???

[Cheesecake]

Hey ladies,

As I said in my no-Christmas-miracle post (thanks for all your support BTW), I've kinda been avoiding this board lately because still no BFP just sucks too hard.
On the mod board it was mentioned that some other boards need to be reorganized and unused boards can be deleted and that brought me to think of the fact that there's no (active) "trouble TTC" board anywhere on here.

Would there be any others that might post there if we'd make that a sub-board of here (or add it separately).
I really truly do love you all and are happy for each and every person that does get a BFP, but in all honesty the BFPs from people who just joined 2 seconds ago are getting to me too much.

I don't know if there are more ladies on here that have the same issue. Having a "Trouble TTC" board might be nice for those that do.

If more people like the idea and think they would post there regularly, let me know (and also, as a sub or separate board) so we can see if we can get that set up.

Hope everyone had great holidays and a happy new year.

<going back in to hiding>
Cheesecake

[FastHands]

This board is pretty dead, so I can't imagine that making a new board for just a subset of the posters would get much action. And while I don't consider myself to be in the "trouble" category just yet, I think if I ever got to the point where someone's BFP was that painful, I would just stop coming here. For me at least, I'm equally jealous whether someone was trying for 8 minutes or 8 years. I might be happier for them if they overcame some issues, but I'll always be jealous and throw a tiny mental pity party. lol

[sunflower22]

I would post there! I don't mind seeing bfp's here but I wouldn't mind just chatting w t-ttcers when I felt like it

[ilovecandy]

One vote for subboard i am about the same boat as you i sometimes hate coming here for all the bfps.

[daisy24342]

Jan 3, 2013 9:25:19 GMT -5 ilovecandy said:

One vote for subboard i am about the same boat as you i sometimes hate coming here for all the bfps.

Ditto

[lola]

I vote for sub-board too. It's not even the BFPs that get me, it's the non-stop questions about TTC that I swear-to-the-fucking-lord could be solved in one one-hundredth the time by Google. I just don't have it in me anymore.

Also, I could have sworn there was one already and Toledo (on ML) posted the link one time. I'll see if I can find it.

[sunflower22]

Jan 3, 2013 9:58:53 GMT -5 lola said:

I vote for sub-board too. It's not even the BFPs that get me, it's the non-stop questions about TTC that I swear-to-the-fucking-lord could be solved in one one-hundredth the time by Google. I just don't have it in me anymore.

Lol well said.

[ilovecandy]

Jan 3, 2013 9:58:53 GMT -5 lola said:

I vote for sub-board too. It's not even the BFPs that get me, it's the non-stop questions about TTC that I swear-to-the-fucking-lord could be solved in one one-hundredth the time by Google. I just don't have it in me anymore.

Also, I could have sworn there was one already and Toledo (on ML) posted the link one time. I'll see if I can find it.

+1

[lola]

Andplusalso, I've been worried for a bit now that I'm going to get the GP Bitch Crown up in here, because my patience with some of this stuff is so thin. (Deleted-But-Rude-Comment-Was-Here. I don't have the heart to mean. Quick! Somebody start a flameful!) If we move to a TTTC Board, I'll just be able to assume that all of us there have the same basic feelings about things like this. lol.

I paged Toledo on ML. I'll see if she replies.

[Cheesecake]

Let us know when you hear something Lola. And yeah, the 20million-googleable questions bug me too!

Sent from my phone, please disregard typos!

[magpie]

but lola, we need your comments here! I totally hear you and I always appreciate you laying it down. I don't think I will come here anymore if all my fav ladies leave (cheesecake, wine, swizz...I've been missing your posts around here lately!).

I agree with fasthands too--this board is pretty dead. Maybe we need more non-gp related stuff or at least some variety to the GP-related topics that do get posted? I dunno. I've been thinking about this board and wondering if it sort of lends itself to obsessing and whether or not that is such a positive thing for me.

[glauren]

Jan 3, 2013 10:46:40 GMT -5 magpie said:

I agree with fasthands too--this board is pretty dead. Maybe we need more non-gp related stuff or at least some variety to the GP-related topics that do get posted? I dunno. I've been thinking about this board and wondering if it sort of lends itself to obsessing and whether or not that is such a positive thing for me.

I agree - especially with the bolded. And I'd post on a TTTC board if I'd be welcome.

[lola]

I hear what you're saying Autmn, but a lot of really valuable information is in the sticky at the top of this board. I feel like people don't even check that anymore.

Plus, whether it's fair or not, when you've had 12+ months of BFNs it gets a little old too see the "Cycle 3 is a bust! I need to call my doctor stat!" and shit.

I'm not at all advocating towards a Bump-like move like forcing all posters to announce when they have a pregnancy ticker or pictures of kids in their signatures because that's just insanity. At the same time, as somebody who has been trying for well over a year, I want to scream when I see your ticker for "TTC for 8 Weeks!" Again - I recognize that this is bitchy and unfair. Not that that makes it any better.

GLauren - I know what you're saying about this board lending itself to TTC Obsession. I feel like that some days too, and I think it's because really what we talk about on this board is (by and large) strictly related to TTC which kind of sucks. I think a lot of us post frequently on other boards so we don't post daily life so much here.

[sonrisa]

There was one - until about 24 hours ago when they reduced the number of baby boards. I looked into it when I decided to post here rather than the miscarriage board on the nest. No one had posted in months. (the miscarriage board here was also dead).

[lola]

See, the thing is, I didn't say it made me mad, and I sure as hell didn't say it made me mad at you. I said it made me want to scream.

I'm not mad in the least. I'm not mad at you, any newbie who gets pregnant their first month or has a TTC ticker, my husband, my doctors or even myself. I'm sad, I'm frustrated, I'm anxious ALL OF THE TIME, I'm overwhelmed, I'm wondering if my hopes of having children with my husband are gone or just delayed. I'm tired, curious, nervous, exhausted, hopeful and hopeless. I am a lot of things, but mad is certainly not one of them.

I'm not asking you to understand my feelings *in the least*. I assume you cannot and this also does not make me mad. But yes, looking at a TTC ticker makes me want to scream. I know it's bitchy, and irrational, and silly but I'll just add those to my long list of things that I feel (that I don't expect you to understand) and move on.

[lola]

Jan 3, 2013 11:53:42 GMT -5 sonrisa said:

There was one - until about 24 hours ago when they reduced the number of baby boards. I looked into it when I decided to post here rather than the miscarriage board on the nest. No one had posted in months. (the miscarriage board here was also dead).

Thanks Sonrisa! I knew that Toledo had posted one for me, but then I searched around this a.m. and couldn't find it.

[FastHands]

I guess I don't understand why you'd be part of a board about pregnancy anyway if you didn't want to talk about fertility issues, even if they are google-able. What exactly would the new board be if questions, tickers, and BFPs are taboo? Isn't that just...the rest of GBCN? lol

Of course there are eye-rolly posts about "I just had sex last night, should I POAS?!", but I don't have a problem with most of the questions/discussions posted here. I have a feeling a sub-board would lead to just two even-less-active boards, personally.

[daisy24342]

Jan 3, 2013 11:34:54 GMT -5 lola said:

Plus, whether it's fair or not, when you've had 12+ months of BFNs it gets a little old too see the "Cycle 3 is a bust! I need to call my doctor stat!" and shit.

This

[lola]

Fasthands - here's the difference, IMO.

When you've been TTC w/o success for a long time (and there are women on this GP board who have been trying for YEARS), there is a LOT of pregnancy related stuff that is not at all about POAS, OPKs, what lube to use, what a chart looks like, etc. And sometimes there is just a need to talk about the process, the failures, the disappointment.

There has been an incredible amount of support on this board for everybody, despite the length of their journey, and I think it's been great. I also think that since the board has gotten more active in the last three months or so we're seeing more posters who show up to post about their BFPs, their lube questions, their month three disappointments and there are some people who are just over that. Plus, it can be painful to watch poster after poster after poster get a BFP.

People right now are feeling the need to stay away from this very board because those kind of updates are painful for them. Why not, then, create a sub-board where they can post about what their longer journey looks and feels like while avoiding the things that are painful for them?

[sunflower22]

I'm pretty sure we don't need fasthands permission for a sub-board. If you don't agree w it or understand it, feel free to stay put right here! I think its a great idea.

[ilovecandy]

Jan 3, 2013 12:10:00 GMT -5 lola said:

Fasthands - here's the difference, IMO.

When you've been TTC w/o success for a long time (and there are women on this GP board who have been trying for YEARS), there is a LOT of pregnancy related stuff that is not at all about POAS, OPKs, what lube to use, what a chart looks like, etc. And sometimes there is just a need to talk about the process, the failures, the disappointment.

There has been an incredible amount of support on this board for everybody, despite the length of their journey, and I think it's been great. I also think that since the board has gotten more active in the last three months or so we're seeing more posters who show up to post about their BFPs, their lube questions, their month three disappointments and there are some people who are just over that. Plus, it can be painful to watch poster after poster after poster get a BFP.

People right now are feeling the need to stay away from this very board because those kind of updates are painful for them. Why not, then, create a sub-board where they can post about what their longer journey looks and feels like while avoiding the things that are painful for them?

you have said everything i have been feeling in all your posts. I love you for this cause those people that are all i have been ttc for three months and nothing are really getting on my damn nerves.

[FastHands]

My only concern, like I mentioned, was that it would just make this board dead. I never said you shouldn't do it or suggest that it was my decision (Really, sunflower..?). It definitely seems like there are plenty of people who would prefer it. You'll be missed, but I hope you guys get your BFPs soon!

[vmars]

I think we all need to realize everyone is at a diff stage of the game right now and try to be respectful of that. Veterans needs to remember we were all newbies at one point and newbies need to realize TTC may not be a walk in the park and some questions need to be phrased differently. Also, I think the basic TTC questions may be asked not only for answers but so people can have a dialogue and not just look at google for 10 conflicting responses. I think we need to look at this process as a learning experience and not make people feel bad for being at diff stages of the process.

[glauren]

Jan 3, 2013 12:55:15 GMT -5 FastHands said:

My only concern, like I mentioned, was that it would just make this board dead. I never said you shouldn't do it or suggest that it was my decision (Really, sunflower..?). It definitely seems like there are plenty of people who would prefer it. You'll be missed, but I hope you guys get your BFPs soon!

I don't know about anyone else, but I would plan on posting on both boards. I just want somewhere to ask/talk about treatments/diagnoses without being a TTC boner killer to newbies, kwim?

[Cheesecake]

From the responses I see here, it seems like a sub board is worth the try.

And maybe an update of the sticky is in order too. Add the acronyms, for instance, and maybe add some etiquette.

Like the multitude of people I feel we've had who come in to basically ask what BFP means and the next day post OMG, I have a BFP. And then never shop up anymore.
Explain that no, we cannot tell you if you actually did ovulate if you don't temp/chart and that a +opk does not mean you will now be pregnant if you POAS in 9 days. Stuff like that. And maybe when people ask bullshit questions like that, we just refer them to the sticky and not really go into it that much. That might help too. Dunno.

I really like hanging out here with you ladies, really, I adore all the regulars, especially when snarky it's really the newbies with their ridiculous questions followed by immediate BFPs and/or mega sob stories when they don't have a BFP at 9DPO the first cycle trying that make me want to scream like Lola does at the TTC for 1.3 days tickers.

[FastHands]

Yeno, i think the newbie bashing is perhaps a symptom of the fact that a new board apparently *is* needed. There is clearly a lot of animosity for the types of posts that make up the majority of this board. I'll be glad to stay and field the innane questions. lol

[lola]

Jesusfuckingchrist, AR, when you get something in your mind you just can't let it go, can you?

Nobody is "mad" at the newbies. Nobody is "mad" about the questions. Nobody has EVER given a newbie "shit" for their questions.

The only thing going on here is people discussing their own feelings about having a board wherein questions like this can be avoided for those of us that don't want to answer them a millionfuckingtimes.

If you insist on believing that this is because we like giving people shit and looooove being mad at the world, that's fine but it is most definitely not what's going on.

And, for the record, now I am getting mad.

[lola]

Jan 3, 2013 13:21:25 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Yeno, i think the newbie bashing is perhaps a symptom of the fact that a new board apparently *is* needed. There is clearly a lot of animosity for the types of posts that make up the majority of this board. I'll be glad to stay and field the innane questions. lol

Ahh, yes, the infamous "you're just jealous"! And, end scene.

[FastHands]

I think she meant more of bashing the concept of the newbies and their questions, not actually attacking people who are posting the questions.

ETA: If anything, I think this board tends toward painfully patient with newbs. lol

[FastHands]

Jan 3, 2013 13:23:42 GMT -5 lola said:

Jan 3, 2013 13:21:25 GMT -5 FastHands said:

Yeno, i think the newbie bashing is perhaps a symptom of the fact that a new board apparently *is* needed. There is clearly a lot of animosity for the types of posts that make up the majority of this board. I'll be glad to stay and field the innane questions. lol

Ahh, yes, the infamous "you're just jealous"! And, end scene.

Not at all what I meant. Several people have commented they've lost their patience / are sick of / can't take it anymore concerning questions from new folks. That's all I meant. The point was that, since that's what a lot of this board is, if it makes people angry, then another board that shields them from that is probably a good idea. I was agreeeeeing with you. lol