told my boss...and it didn't go well

[ladygrey]

I finally told my boss that I'm pregnant during our meeting this morning and he was actually kind of a douche about it.

First he laughed in kind of a bitter, weird way (I think he was slightly shocked by the news). Then he said that people had been making comments about how I wasn't drinking at our holiday party a few weeks ago. Finally he asked, "So does that mean you're not coming back after the baby is born?" I told him I haven't decided yet (even though DH and I are 90% sure I will end up SAH) and there was just an awkward silence before we moved on to other topics. He eventually did say congratulations at the end of the meeting, but it didn't feel at all sincere.

Now I'm sitting at my desk feeling sick to my stomach and trying not to cry. I just thought there would be a more positive reaction - instead I feel like I'm being judged and accused of betraying my job or something. (note: work doesn't know that I am seriously considering SAH; I won't say anything until we make a final decision closer to my due date).

I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish here - just needed to get it all out before I lose my shit.

[Brie]

That really sucks. What an asshole. Hugs.

[dcn]

Wow what a douche. I'm sorry!!

[Deleted]

Oh I am raging for you. What a dick! What do you do? I'm so sorry.

[yellowbrkrd]

I'm sorry, that really sucks.

[justjen]

I guess I understand Hopeful2012's hesitation more now....

That sucks -- I'm really sorry. But you did nothing wrong, so screw them. :-P

[ladygrey]

Jan 3, 2013 10:56:31 GMT -5 @notquiteblushing said:

Oh I am raging for you. What a dick! What do you do? I'm so sorry.

I just kind of sat there, stunned, and didn't have too much to say for the rest of the meeting.

I just expected that sharing this news would be a weight off my shoulders and now I feel like the next six months are going to be awful. At least I have some supportive co-worker friends who will be excited and happy for me when I tell them.

[zarapipe]

WTF! Jerk!!

What kind of job are you working in? Have other women had babies in the past? Not that this would be an excuse but I am just curious.

[ladygrey]

Jan 3, 2013 11:06:44 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

WTF! Jerk!!

What kind of job are you working in? Have other women had babies in the past? Not that this would be an excuse but I am just curious.

I'm an events coordinator for a non-profit organization. A coworker had a baby three years ago, but she is in a higher position and doesn't report to the same boss that I do.

[HoneySpider]

Screw him, don't let his attitude affect you!

[brady2012]

Just remember you didn't do anything wrong and shouldn't feel badly about it.

When I was pregnant with number one, my male boss said "I figured you were when you got angry about XXX, I just assumed you were hormonal and pregnant." I had gotten angry that someone threw out the IT equipment we needed to open our interim office and it cost the firm $800.00 to expedite new equipment...seems like a reasonable reason to get upset to me.

I hate when ppl make pregnant women feel guilty/ashamed about being pregnant. It is such a comentary on what is wrong with society. I hope the rest of your day goes better!

[Deleted]

I'm sorry he was such a dick.

Do you have any coworker friends that don't know yet? I'd go tell them. Their excitement will make you feel better.

[Deleted]

That sucks--I'm sorry. That alone would tip me further into the SAH side because then I'd assume he wouldn't be an understanding boss to an infant mom.

[chessie]

That really sucks. They act the same way at my place, hence why my coworkers try to hide it as long as possible..last girl waited until 26 weeks.

[moonstone523]

Yeah, what a douche.

[everafter07]

That's so shitty. I CAN see how it could be frustrating from an employer's standpoint when women don't come back from maternity leave, but that could go for any employee that has been on leave for anything. You did nothing wrong and it's your choice, just like any employee has the choice to leave whenever they want (with proper notice). Sorry it didn't go well, he really flubbed that. I would document anything negative he says regarding your pregnancy, in case you wanted to report it to HR. It's not right to treat someone like that.

[hopeful2012]

What an a**. He really did a poor job of taking the news. I hope you have announced to some co-workers by now and that they have been way better about it.

I've promised that I'm outting myself on Monday, but this doesn't make me feel better about it!

[jessnpaul]

I'm sorry, that is a sucky reaction to your happy news! This should be a time of happiness for you and not get crap from your boss!

When I got pregnant my boss responded well, but since we've had so many pregnancies since mine, there's a running joke around here that we're not allowed to hire any more women of childbearing age. There's been something in the water lately!

[baconlettucetomato]

What a douche canoe. I'm sorry he sucks.

[mie]

Iʻm sorry.

[bail229]

That is so rude. I'm sorry that happened.

[Deleted]

That sucks! I hope he comes around and is nicer to you about it later.

[gmail]

Please just document, like a PP said, just in case.

I had a shitshow of comments from people during my pg, and I never documented anything. I wish I had.

[Ashley&Scott]

What an asshat!