Just curious: birth month preference

[zarapipe]

My DH thinks I am a little weird that I want to TTC only in months that would give me a spring and fall baby. I have some weird obsession with not having a summer/winter baby.

Summer- who wants to be pregnant in the summer? I am dealthy affraid that my future called if born in July/August would be the "slow" kid in school because they would be the youngest. This is my biggest fear. I think older kids get ahead.

Winter- who wants to be stuck inside with a newborn in the cold winter? Want to get away from a Christmas baby.

So the ok months to birth a child would be Sep, Oct. Nov, March, April, May.

A little crazy right? Do you have any preconceptions about birth months?

[moonstone523]

We didn't really time it, but I was very happy to know that our baby was due in September before the holiday rush. I was pregnant in the summer in Florida, and I must say I am much happier to be pregnant in the summer and then have the baby in the nice winter weather so we can be outside and the baby isn't dying of heat.

For our next one, we will try to conceive around the same time as we did before. A Christmas present

[Brie]

I think that's a little weird, but knock yourself out.

FTR, I had a September baby and it was not a piece of cake. I was in 3rd tri through the hottest months of the year.

And I wouldn't mind having a newborn when it's cold. I didn't really feel much like leaving the house until C was about 2 months old anyway because he ate so frequently.

[Deleted]

I don't think it's crazy. If you can get pg. easily and plan it that way, why not. I had no idea about red shirting/birth month advantage when we had our first. He has an early Sept. birthday and we'll be holding him back a year. It's pretty common where we live and not a big deal though.

[fbf2006]

The only months I didn't really want to give birth were November through early March. I don't like winter. I don't mind a summer baby. I was one of the youngest in school (late September baby) and was still ahead of my class so the "older kids tend to do better thing" doesn't really resonate with me. That seems to only be a common assumption in the US, not where I'm from.

[ijack]

Well I thought I was going to have a great plan and my first was due at the end of May - but then she came in mid march so that didn't really work out

[w2w]

My child was due in Nov but came in August, so we caused him to skip a grade.

If you can control it, I see no reason not to pick your month. I would go with early Spring if I could control it.

[HoneySpider]

I don't know, I think there's advantages and disadvantages to every season. I'm not really worried about planning for a certain time.

Oh and as far as summer babies and age, DH & I are both Sept babies, we both went into school instead of being held back a year and we both did very well in school. I don't see that as an issue at all.

[baconlettucetomato]

We weren't really concerned although I'm glad to be due in early June so I'll be done before it gets too hot.

As far as age and school goes, I'm a December baby and still went into school even though I was 4. I graduated at 17 with great grades and a varsity athlete, I don't think its an issue.

[zarapipe]

Well it seems the average opinion is that younger kids don't suffer in school. I need to get that out of my head!!!!! I don't even know where it comes from...

[h]

I have an August baby, an April baby, and am pregnant with another April baby.

I didn't mind being pregnant in the summer at all (and I live in Texas and had a baby in August, so I was pregnant through all of a long, hot summer). The school situation is problematic with my August kid, though. His b-day is one week before our September 1 school cut off, and I live in an area where nearly everyone red shirts boys with late spring or summer birthdays, which means that if we keep DS1 with his grade he will be 14-15 months younger than some of the other boys. Right now we are sending him to lower elementary school at a mixed age private Montessori school to give him a couple more years to mature before we have to decide what to do.

April was a lovely time to have a baby, and I am pleased to be having another April baby. It was nice that it was not too hot or too cold out when he was a newborn, and I loved being on maternity leave all summer.

So I guess I do have a preference, but we never tried to time when our kids would be born. We just TTC when the urge struck us.

[jinkies]

I am going to agree with Brie that having a fall baby puts you at full-term pregnant during the worst of summer. It was not super awesome.

I wanted to avoid a due date within a few weeks before/ after Xmas, because I didn't want my kid to be screwed on bday celebrations for life.

I have friends who skipped ttc the month that would have produced a late aug/ early September baby because the didn't want to have to make a red- shirting decision when it came time to start school. (Cutoff is sept 1 around here)

Do what you are comfortable with, but know that there is no perfect time, and, as ijack pointed out, you don't always control when the baby decides to be born, regardless of due date.

[dragonfly08]

If that's what works for you and you want to try, why not?

But it took me 12 months and 9 months, respectively, to conceive my kids. I was just glad to finally get PG each time, and the fact that #2 was born in August, and I had to wear full compression stockings the entire third trimester (meaning all summer), was fine by me.

My niece was born on 12/26. My own birthday is right before Christmas. She loves her holiday birthday, I've never cared much one way or the other myself.

Maybe "older kids get ahead" but my 4th grader is a year ahead in school and, as a result, possibly the youngest kid in her grade. She's in the advanced program and excels. Her little sister is the opposite...was also one of the youngest (although age appropriate for her grade) last year and didn't succeed as well. So that one can really go either way, it's more about the kid than the age, IMO.

[mollybrown]

I think you're over thinking it

I have a July baby and a December baby. No big deal. Being 9 months pregnant is miserable, no matter what month. I didn't find being pregnant in the summer vs. any other month to be worse. Regarding a winter baby, you might not want to get out and do anything right away anyway. We spent the first 3 months establishing breast feeding, getting a schedule going, and surviving. By the time we were ready to spend time outside, it was Spring. With the July baby, it was Fall by the time we wanted to get outside. Worked out perfectly. Like you, I didn't want to have a Christmas baby, so fortunately he came 3 weeks early. I do have a niece born on Christmas Eve, and it actually isn't a big deal to her. If my son ever wants to have outside birthday parties, we'll just start celebrating his half birthday sometime in the summer.

I also have a July birthday, and I promise you that I was never a slow kid. I was always at the top of my class, and never even thought of myself as young. The older, bigger kids were the ones teased for being "stupid" because everyone assumed they were held back. Anecdotal, but most of my smartest friends were either summer babies are skipped a grade and were just younger than the rest of their class. I think people overerestimate how important being a few months younger or older is once a kid starts school.

[Deleted]

I was the youngest in my class and graduated at the top of it.

May (DS) was great. I'm not looking forward to being huge in July (this one's due the beginning of August), but I sure wasn't going to put off TTC to avoid that. Every timing has pros and cons.

[pinkdutchtulips]

anything but August - too many family birthdays. hoping for another late baby !

fwiw - the kindergarten cut off is 9/1 which would make this baby the youngest in their class IF i stick to my edd. in any event, i'd redshirt based on bday alone and they would end up being one of the oldest ones in their class.

[Deleted]

I don't think it's crazy per se but i would rather have a June or July baby than a September or October baby. With the latter, you're hugely pregnant through the late summer. I would have been miserable. I was miserable enough as it was with a May baby haha.

I also think it depends on how long it takes you. When we started I was very "I want a baby in these months and not these months!" well I didnt get pregnant for a while so I quickly decided I didn't care about a christmas baby haha.

[w2w]

Jan 3, 2013 13:40:13 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

Well it seems the average opinion is that younger kids don't suffer in school. I need to get that out of my head!!!!! I don't even know where it comes from...

I think this is a widely held view with some actual data to back it up.

[h]

Jan 3, 2013 13:40:13 GMT -5 zarapipe said:

Well it seems the average opinion is that younger kids don't suffer in school. I need to get that out of my head!!!!! I don't even know where it comes from...

Outliers seems to have popularized this idea. I know my husband started to feel strongly that being the youngest might be bad for our son after reading it.

I was one of the youngest in my class and was still the valedictorian and student council president and pretty happy socially, so I don't think I suffered. My husband was also one of the youngest, and while he did very well academically, being the youngest was difficult for him socially, and I (and he) think he would have been a lot better off had he had an extra year to mature before going to college.

All else being equal, I would prefer that my child be middle of the pack age-wise just to avoid having to even think about these issues. I suspect we will send DS1 on and just let him be the youngest, but it is not without some reservation.

[changedname]

Ideally I would have liked a March or April baby but as you can see from my siggy, I will take what I can get after 1 year ttc.

We plan on doing ivf next month so I think that would = a November baby. If we do IVF in March instead we would be having a late Dec baby. I would rather not have a baby born over Christmas but beggars can't be choosers is the way I look at it now.

[rosetyler]

I just didn't want to be full term in the hottest months of summer. And here I sit with an August 16th EDD.

But after trying for a loooong time and loss, I could care less when a healthy baby comes, as long as it comes.

[Deleted]

My son is a Feb baby and he is one of the youngest boys in his class because red-shirting is so rampant.

My other son is Aug and he's in 1st grade with kids who are more than a year and a half older than he is.

I actually preferred a feb baby because you have no excuse to leave the house during the winter.

[smiley]

February / March / April / May / October would be my ideal choices to have a baby in. We live in FL and the summers can be brutal. I wouldn't want to be getting ready to give birth or have a newborn during those months. I also want to stay away from the Holidays especially Thanksgiving and Christmas because it would be very difficult for DH to take time off of work.

ETA: I would not hold off TTC during certain months though. I know how hard it can be to get pregnant / stay pregnant and I would rather not take that chance.

[hski2349]

I had a July baby. And I was ok until the last few weeks. I actually liked that I had DD in July. It meant that I could get out and go for walks right away and be outside instead of be trapped inside because it was cold.

[rootbeerfloat]

I have a Christmas-ish baby. Believe me, DS does not mind that he gets a crapload of presents one week a year. And it was nice being home that time of year with a newborn. I actually think it worked out better than my October baby, who was a newborn in the height of flu season and got RSV.

[jessnpaul]

DS was born in mid-April but due in mid-June. Everyone was all "a June baby is the best!" because you get the whole summer with him to go out on walks and such. But being that it was like 100 degrees every day (or at least it felt like it), I only took all of one walk with him while I was on maternity leave! It was just way too hot and humid to leave the house!

The only thing I wouldn't want is a winter baby, if I could help it. More because planning a birthday party in the wintertime is kinda sucky as it has to be indoors!

[discombobulated]

While younger children may be at a disadvantage, I highly doubt there's a statistically significant difference between May and July.

I had a boy in June but he goes to daycare and IMO will be ready for school (and is very tall for his age).

[Deleted]

Fwiw, we're red shirting DS on the advice of his teachers and full support of his pediatrician. He had a mild speech delay as a toddler which his doctor believed caused a social delay. Although he has since caught up to his peers and has been discharged by his special ed teacher (and is "officially" encouraged to start K on time), everyone tells me privately that they think he'll be better off with another year to mature under his belt. Not everyone does it because of sports or what have you.

[SpartanGirl]

We weren't really concerned about any certain months. Once I was pregnant with my oldest I VERY strongly didn't want her to be born on Christmas Day (her due date was 12/28). Well...she was born on Christmas day. It's not what I would have picked but it's worked out fine and is kind of fun. Because it's the holidays DH never has to work so we can celebrate as a family on her actual birthday too.

We live in a cold weather state and didn't let that stop us from getting out when she was born. We bundled her up and went out.

I will say that I'm glad I didn't have to be largely pregnant in the summer months though. I think I'd be a miserable hot, sweaty pregnant woman.

[Deleted]

Jan 3, 2013 14:02:57 GMT -5 @lcap said:

Fwiw, we're red shirting DS on the advice of his teachers and full support of his pediatrician. He had a mild speech delay as a toddler which his doctor believed caused a social delay. Although he has since caught up to his peers and has been discharged by his special ed teacher (and is "officially" encouraged to start K on time), everyone tells me privately that they think he'll be better off with another year to mature under his belt. Not everyone does it because of sports or what have you.

you have to go with your gut.

If DS2 had been my first i would have probably red shirted him. As it was, I had a long talk with his developmental pediatrician about what to do. his regular pediatrician seems to think every kid should be red shirted but the developmental pointed out that if we want him to mature he's better off with an older peer group than a younger group. Also academically he would have been bored in K and has thrived in 1st, even with his speech issues and ASD dx.