I went in for a blood draw and then they called be back immediately for an ultra sound. There wasn't a heart beat, and I'd actually lost the baby about 2 weeks ago. This is the most painful (both physically & emotionally) thing I have ever been through.
Thank you for all of your help over the past few weeks. I'm going to lay low for a few weeks here as DH & I process through this.
UPDATE: I just logged on and saw all of your responses. DH & I are so touched by the kindness and prayers of our internet friends. Thank you all so much. This day has been so painful and I just cannot wait for Monday. I'm hoping that today was the worst of it and that tomorrow I will start to feel (physically) better. I know it will take a long time before I feel emotionally better.
For any of you who have been through this, have you found any good resources for your husband? DH is so distraught and I'm trying to come up with a good way to help him work through this, as well.
We thought we were close to the first "finish line" of 12 weeks, you know? I was 11w,5d! I was on the phone setting up my NT scan for next week. I told the nurse that I'd been having some back pain for 2 days (extreme, like, how was I able to walk down the hall kind of pain) and that I'd had a little spotting that morning. She suggested I come in for a blood draw just so that I would not panic all weekend long. I went in, they took my blood, and I went back to work. She called back and asked me to come back as soon as possible to do an ultra sound, and I knew that wasn't a good sign. DH was in a meeting, so I was only able to text him and didn't want to worry him, yet, as he had a long drive though heavy traffic to get to me at the doctor's office.
I knew as soon as she started the ultra sound that it wasn't good. I didn't even see anything resembling the baby I saw at my previous ultra sound and it was obvious that there was no heart beat. She quietly told me she couldn't find a heart beat, apologized, and went to get someone from my doctor's office. They took me through all of these secret hallways to get down to the doctor's office.
Turns out I had a hematoma, which they had explained to me at my first visit, but acted like it was no big deal. (I'd met with a nurse practitioner at that visit, not my doctor) However, this hematoma was pretty large (3cm) and blocked the baby's growth. These things happen, they told me, and they are usually rare, one time events. While the nurse was going over all of this with us, someone came in and said my doctor had been contacted and she was coming back to go over everything with me. I just thought that was so wonderful, I mean, it's 5 something on a Friday, and she was already at home with her family, and she came back to work through this with us. So wonderful!
There's physical pain, yes, but the emotional pain is so raw. I go from joking and talking to DH about something completely trivial to both of us sobbing like crazy. I have a D & C scheduled for Monday and plan to take the whole week off work. My boss and coworkers (those who know) have been completely supportive, and I am so thankful that we only told a select few people. It was hard enough to tell those few people.
I guess I just needed to get some of this out! I truly thank you all for answering questions and sending us your thoughts and good wishes. I know this will just be a hiatus, and that in a few months I'll hopefully be back with a new announcement.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Glad you have a lot of support though and it sounds like you have a really great medical team. You and your dh will be in my thoughts