Sunday sads

[UnderProtest]

So I know this is stupid, but I'm sad today. We went to a dinner with a bunch of neighbors last night and despite not really liking one chick, it makes me sad that she excludes me. She has a kid that is two weeks older than my twins and before they were born I had high hopes that she would be a good friend and a mentor of sorts. That really didn't occur and last night she talked about all the play dates and baby classes she was doing with another neighbor. Its stupid because I've realized she is pretty fake and superficial (like she won't talk to neighbors who are just renting because they aren't worth her time to invest in them). But it still feels like I'm in high school and she is the prom queen flaunts how cool she is.

Anyone feel like this as an adult and what did you do about it?

[chessie]

It happens, I wouldn't push a relationship that doesnt just work, thats me though. I barely talk to any of our neighbors, but that is just how my neighborhood is, check out local groups or meet up groups for other people looking for what your looking for. Who would really want to be friends with a person like that then?

[Deleted]

I've had those feelings before. I just remind myself that it's silly because it's usually someone I'm not truly interested in being friends with anyway. It feels good to be liked/wanted, but what's the point if it means you get stuck hanging around someone you don't like back?

Also I think she's rude to talk about that stuff in front of you if she's not inviting you. So there's another reason to be thankful you're not stuck being friends with her

I also remind myself that I don't like being too busy socially anyway and adding more friends to my social calendar is really only worth it if I really hit it off with someone. I'm sure that isn't helpful if you're not a homebody like myself.

[limey]

Jan 6, 2013 15:59:57 GMT -5 chessie said:

I wouldn't push a relationship that doesnt just work

I think this is the key thing. If you didn't want a friendship with her, it wouldn't sting. So focus on the friends and activities that you do enjoy.

[imojoebunny]

If she is just one person in a big group, I would not let it bother me. I quietly excluded two ladies from our playgroup because I just didn't hit it off with them. It was my playgroup, I put it together, so I wanted to feel comfortable with the other people. Nothing wrong with the ladies, I have no ill will toward them, just don't want to hang out in the limited time I have. When ladies ended up doing things together with some other people, they did not invite me, good for them.

There is always going to be someone who doesn't have a personality you love, especially with parent friends and school associations.

[bunch]

Yuck. I've had some similar run ins at moms club, but I just pick out the cooler people

Hmmm. Sad.... Today is good, I've got nothing.

[snapplegirl]

It's happened to me before. I think it happens to everyone from time to time. Sometimes people just don't click well for whatever reason. I would try to be pleasant but focus on your other friends and the good things in your life.

[twodogsandababy]

I feel that way in my neighborhood too. The girl next to me and the one across the street are good friends. Their kids are close to my sons age. I always try to chat with them when I am outside but it just seems so fake with everything they say. They are also Navy wives and know that my husband is in the Navy and deployed, but still don't really have any interest in talking with me. Their husbands are on shore duty and don't deploy. Whatevs--my neighbor on the other side is pretty cool, but doesn't have any kids. It does make me sad though that my son sees the kids playing and when he tries to play with them, they don't really want to play with him.

[hannamaren]

I have felt like this when I am in Moms groups and then I remind myself that Mom groups arent my real friends. They are just to keep my kid company and trade diaper changing stories. I have GBcN for that. I dont need more close friends. Plus I am older than a lot of the Moms I meet so I figure they dont want to be close to an old lady. Whatever

[UnderProtest]

Yeah, I know it's stupid to be sad about this because I don't really want to be her friend. I don't know why it's bothering me. Maybe because I haven't really clicked with any other mom.

[Deleted]

I make a lot of friends and just don't worry too much when people drop out. I have a handful of friends who are my BFFs and try to feel good about that.

I also find a lot of people have anxiety about about socializing with new people, so at least some of the time it's just people being nervous.

[Deleted]

There are a group of neighbors on my street that hang out with each other and I'm always sad that we are excluded. We have made attempts, with no luck. Two of the families we knew casually before we moved onto the street and we were so excited to be moving to a social neighborhood, but it hasn't been that way for us. (We thought we would have an automatic 'in'). I get jealous and feel lonely when I can see them in each others yards or houses. Pity party for me.

[momof2boys]

Been there...a neighbor a few houses down has two kids the same ages as my kids. I tried to set up "play dates", the only time she took me up was when she could just drop her kids at my house (aka free babysitter). She never took any invitation to hang out together, and didn't offer to take my kids at all. It was sad b/c my kids really liked her kids, and we live so close it could have been a great friendship for all. I finally gave up. She can barely wave when I drive by (half the time she doesn't wave at all) and its clear she wants nothing to do with me. She also recently pulled her kids out of the school to send them to private school an hour away b/c our school is "not good enough". We actually have a sought after school system that i've been happy with.
So end result, oh well. My kids will make other friends, and I don't need her in my life. She has a "i'm better then you" attitude that I don't need.