s/o controversial article: credit rating

[drloretta]

Our local paper ran a piece in their Careers section about credit scores. They said it was, for better or worse, something you should ask a potential mate early on while dating. So questions:

1. Did you/would you ask about an SO's credit rating?
2. Would it be a dealbreaker for you to have a relationship with them if their score wasn't good?
3. Looking back, do you wish you'd known more about your SO's credit score before you got married/moved in together?

[limey]

I didn't ask specifically about his credit rating, but we certainly talked about finances.

It would be a dealbreaker for me to have dated someone that was irresponsible with money. I don't just mean a low credit score, but someone who couldn't live within their means or save for retirement.

[Susie]

1. Did I? Yes. We bought a car together (both names on the loan) when we were engaged. It was all out there.

2. No. My credit score was a lot better than his at the time. His has since improved dramatically, but it was part of why we did the car loan the way we did (and credit cards, after we were married). He would get to piggy back off my credit while improving his on its own merits.

3. No. His finances and credit were an open book (so were mine), there wasn't anything else to know.

[formerlyak]

I didn't the first time around and I didn't know how crappy my ex's credit was until we signed the lease on our first apartment and the leasing agent said it needed to be in just my name because his credit was so bad. I helped him fix up his credit, but never thought about the bigger picture -- that he had bad credit because he was so irresponsible with money. And with him it was a family thing, as his mom was horrible with money as well.

With fi, we did talk about finances and credit early on. He owned the house we live in together now, so I figured he had to have decent credit to buy a house on his own. When we started getting more serious, I just explained that finances were a big sticking point in my marriage and I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who was hiding anything financially. He agreed that he wanted to be with someone who was financially responsible. We kind of both laid it out on the table at that point.

[hbomdiggity]

1. I don't think we discussed with specificity, but I had a general idea.
2. Possibly. I think a low score would have been a red flag as to a personality I wouldn't mesh well with.
3. There have been no surprises.

[lys]

It was a deal breaker to date anyone not responsible with money. I worked too hard to have someone else ruin things for me. A poor FICO score would need to be explained and the path to rectify it in place with notable progress.

[y4m]

DH had crappy credit and was bad with money management in general--mainly due to lack of attention to detail, I think. We actually broke up over it not long before we got engaged because it's obviously very important to me and he just didn't seem to take it seriously.

But then we realized we really liked each other and it was as simple as him handing those functions over to me. He's got an 800+ credit score now and money is absolutely not an issue in our relationship.

[BNL2]

I was the financial mess in our relationship so i feel like DH should be answering this.

1. When we got together our credit histories were basically non-existent. We were students, living in student housing with very few bills. Credit scores were no where on our radar.

2. As I said, I'm the the financial mess in our relationship so I feel bad saying it would be a dealbreaker because clearly it wasn't for DH. I would hope that I would have the same patience he had with me if the tables were turned.

3. DH has excellent and always has so it was a non-issue for me.

[MadamePresident]

We didn't discuss exact credit scores, but we did discuss finances. If we weren't on the same page with how our money would be used that probably would have been a dealbreaker. Its important to be on the same page with money.

[drloretta]

The thing that seemed odd to me was that the story started with a woman on a first date. In the middle of dinner, the date asked her credit score. And sent her a text saying in essence, "It's not you, it's your credit score." Seemed a little premature...

[Deleted]

I knew his credit was terrible from early on the in the relationship. I (stupidly, but it worked out) actually took out a car loan in my name after we'd been together about 6 months. The loan was only for about 3k, but still. That was dumb, lol.

I think it mattered less when we were 22 than it would now if I was just starting to date someone. I'm in a different place in my life where things like buying a house are important. At that point, it just meant he couldn't get a CC (and hey, that means no CC debt!) and couldn't drive a nice car, but no one had a nice car at 22. It wasn't really a big deal.

I think if someone is seriously dating someone, they should know the person's credit history. And I'm maybe a cynic, but I think seeing the report is not a bad idea. People lie, it's a fact of life. I'm not saying pull their credit report on the first date, but at the point where finances are being combined or futures are being planned I think pulling both credit reports is probably smart, if unromantic.

[froggy76]

DH and I have been together since 17/18, so I knew how he was with money. His credit score sucked, he had CC debt and he paid bills late. He wasn't spendy, but he just has no money management skills. It wasn't a deal breaker for me because I knew all I had to do was take over the finances. I was right and everything's been fine since we got married.

[Deleted]

We lived together and merged some finances before marriage. He always told me he never had credit cards or debt. When we looked into renting a place together he gave me permission to check his credit reports and they were clean. His score wasn't very high because he had never used any credit.

The actual credit score means nothing to me, since it depends on so many factors, but the amount of debt would make me rethink a relationship.

[phunluvin82]

1. Did you/would you ask about an SO's credit rating? Not early on in dating...it just didn't occur to me. I knew that he had a good job, a nice apartment (with roommate) and seemed to be able to live pretty well. Of course all these things can be deceptive.

2. Would it be a dealbreaker for you to have a relationship with them if their score wasn't good? No, a credit score wouldn't be a dealbreaker if they were aware of any mistakes they'd made and committed to fixing things, and were not still digging a hole.

3. Looking back, do you wish you'd known more about your SO's credit score before you got married/moved in together? YES!! It wasn't until we moved in together that I started seeing some red flags of DH not being good with money. It's been an uphill battle ever since. I love him and I'm not necessarily saying I would have run in the other direction...just that I wish I had known more, earlier.

[imojoebunny]

I knew DH's was good. I would honestly have had a hard time dating someone with bad credit, unless it was from something like health reasons. It is a value thing to me. I don't care what other people do, but I could not spend my life with someone who was financially irresponsible. It would drive me crazy.

[mrssavy42112]

I don't know if I'd ask a boyfriend for their credit score, but after a while their finances are going to become important and the fact that they may have a poor score due to debt will hopefully come to light. That would be important for me to know. I knew that DH had no credit due to moving into the US a few years earlier. There's no such thing as credit score/reporting in his home country, so the whole concept is foreign.

[agnes]

We purchased a house 2 years prior to marriage. I knew his full financial picture and vice versa.