q about friend who watched house

[sarack]

remember the friend who watched my house and brought some one over i didn't approve of and smoked weed in my house?

so anyway, i work with her at 2nd job. i am friendly with a lot of the people but to be honest, i kinda try to avoid her. which is sad because we've been good friends since 7th grade.

cut to a week ago, i was laughing with a friend and she walked up and was trying to be how we used to be.. when i continued my conversation with the other girl and people up at the front, she gets mad and says "you're nicer to everyone else. you treat everyone else better than me" and then stormed off.

last night we were talkinga bout people we love. there is this one server that is seriously the best. i just adore her. we have the best time and we just click. anyway, the friend was up there and was like, "do you like her more than me? we have a history, sarack. we have years on her and you"

anyway.. people are like, wth is going on between you too. i still haven't told her. but this is getting awkward.

what do i do?

[Deleted]

Did you ever say anything to her about when she was at your house?

[karebear219]

I think you need to sit down and talk with her. She sounds really immature.

[sarack]

No, i've never said anything. I just feel like it's almost a lost cause. she'd totally think i'm attacking her, and to be honest, i don't have the desire to hash it out. i just want it to go away. and i don't really wanna be friends anymore. i don't wanna make it awkward it at work.

is it bad that i just don't think the friendship is worth it? or do i owe it to our past friendship to atleast tell her how if eel? UGH!

[Deleted]

I don't think it's bad that you don't think the friendship is worth it anymore. Friendships often have a 'best by" or expiration date, and each one is different. Some are like dairy, only good for a short while, and some end up being that amazing 1800s Burgundy that is priceless and just better with age. It's kind of a crapshoot I think, when it comes to which turn out to be which, I never can really tell.

Personally, it's much easier to be passive aggressive and try to just let it fade, but it doesn't seem like she can let it do that, in which case, while its uncomfortable, you might owe it to her to have some kind of sit down and just tell her some variation that you have felt like you're going different directions in life and just don't feel as close as you once did.

[sarack]

thanks for the advice kst.

[Deleted]

Anytime

I know it's not easy, I've had several friendships go that way, sometimes I was the one who no longer felt the connection, and sometimes I was on the receiving end of a friend who just bluntly refused to answer my calls, etc out of the blue. Not having any clue was so hurtful, whereas if it was a slow fade it made sense. (Years later, one of the immediate dropped friends told me she got mad because I left her a vm calling her a bitch! Um, I may have been half-drunk, but it would have been in that fake-ghetto-playful way, like "Bitch, why you no call me?!")

[karebear219]

I agree with KST. I would just tell you to let it go and try to sever the ties if you didn't work with her, but since she's your coworker you can't do that.

[jennlin]

yup, i would just let it fade. better than to confront her, because if it's just not worth it, don't worry about it.