Is this a big deal?

[verycontrary247]

H got promoted a few months back and is now more than 2 ranks above one of the guys he hangs out with, C. I like his wife, they are one of the very few couple friends we have.

Now that holiday standdown is over and we're getting our social life back to normal i brought up getting together with that couple for dinner- H says he can get into trouble for hanging out with him outside of work now because of the rank thing added to the fact that he directly supervises C in his division.

Is this a big deal/widely enforced rule?

[nsl]

If he's C's direct supervisor, yes.

[midnightmare81]

That's the worst! The guys start as friend and then *bam* now they outrank you and get put as your squad leader. I get the whole favoritism issue, but sometimes it seems so unfair. As it is the guys are only there for a few years, and it seems as soon as they make good friends, someone gets promoted...

One of H's buddies still hangs out sometimes even though he got promoted, but sadly not as often as they used to...

[softspot]

In J's old unit it was only enforced if someone (or multiple people) got into trouble.

[kpol]

I don't know how big of a difference it is for E's, but O's, two ranks is a pretty big jump. That being said, we are friends with someone who is two ranks above M, but they don't work anywhere near each other and it's nbd. I don't even think they've seen each other in uniform.

The direct supervisor is what makes me think it's a little more tricky. Going to dinner occasionally doesn't seem like a huge deal, but getting sloshed on the weekends together seems inappropriate. But I don't really know anything anyway so don't take my word for it

[VillainV]

If he's the supervisor, then he definitely needs to be careful who he socializes with. But if, say, they want to go do a round of golf, and two other people (who your H also supervises) are invited, and he occasionally plays golf without other guys without this one friend, then it's not a big deal. At least in the AF, it's more about making sure there is no actual favoritism or APPEARANCE of favoritism, so as long as this other guy isn't the only one who gets to go play golf with the boss, then it's not favoritism.

No matter what, you can still socialize with the other wife. That shouldn't be affected at all.

[amaristella]

I agree with everyone else. Direct supervisor, it's time to be more careful. Anything else, I just don't see why it would be an issue really. Things are currently pretty relaxed where DH works and the crew is so small that socially they only split up into about three groups. Officers, Senior Enlisted and Junior Enlisted. After that, everything seems to go.

And even then like, tonight, DH went to dinner with the guys that work for him. He usually doesn't do it more than once a month, if that. I think he feels that it helps to him have a better working relationship with them.

What I think is really making the difference for you, VC, is that this is more one-on-one socializing rather than a group thing. It's easier for problems to arise, especially the favoritism argument.

[audette]

It's the direct supervisor thing that makes this an issue. If that weren't the case, it wouldn't be as big a deal, but because of it, it is something that could cause trouble.

[iluvmytxrgr]

Since he is the direct supervisor, I'd say it's time to add others to the group. It would be best if y'all went out with a group of couples instead of just the four of you. I don't really think it's an issue until people start saying there is favoritism.