Post by wanderlustmom on Jan 20, 2013 21:13:55 GMT -5
I am sorry you are in a rut, I've been there too. I agree with the other posters, potlucks are fine, make a lot of social plans that don't involve much money (cooking dinner, going for a walk or run, book club and volunteering.)
Although our money situation is a bit more flexible, I'm also on the fence about having kids and feel like I'm "wasting" my life on tv and internet even though we do spend time doing other fun things.
And, I'm also worried that I won't end up with either kids or a great career even though I like my job, it's not a high powered career or anything.
So, just wanted to chime in and say that money may not be driving your feelings as much as you think.
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Thanks for this. I sometimes feel like you can be a career woman OR a mom OR you can "have it all" in some cases. But what if you're not a mom and your career is never anything to be proud of? I think I'm ok with being a career person but I have no idea how to truly make it happen. What I've been doing so far isn't getting me far. Then what?
I also have no interest in being CEO or anything. I just want to have a seat at the leadership table and make good money. Apparently, this is harder than I originally thought (lol).
Work has been in kind of a slump lately and I think these concerns are definitely contributing to my overall blahness.
All - thanks for the great ideas. I'm definitely going to have to check out the stuff to do in the area. I really want to join a book club, especially, but haven't found one yet. I will need to keep looking. Also I love volunteering in theory so I really do need to find a better organization to volunteer for. The two main commitments I've made to volunteer in the last couple of years just haven't worked out as well as I'd hoped, but this thread is a good reminder to keep looking.
I hope that eventually eating less and working out will help too. Right now I think I'm just worn out from the increase in activity. I've always eaten healthy foods, I'm just eating less of them right now so I do wonder if eating less means less energy. I'm sure it will even out eventually, but right now I think being more worn out is not helping my mood. Plus I hate having to turn down sleep or a beer, lol.
I don't think that there is ever a time when you can't ask friends to bring something to share to a super bowl party or otherwise.
DH an I are the most financially stable couple in our group of friends (at least I think so) and we have potluck parties all the time. They have been both dinner and snack potlucks.
IMO it works out better most of the time for our friends and us because it would be way more expensive to go out and enjoy the game or a restaurant. So I think it is a win-win situation.
(I did grow up with potlucks and stuff for family function dinners so this seems normal to me, and most of our friends grew up the same way.)
We and most of our friends could afford to host a Super Bowl party, but for that sort of thing everyone always contribute, so I really wouldn't worry about that one.
Volunteering is really a huge part of my life satisfaction. When I spent some time abroad without the same volunteer opportunities I was way more bored and down on life. Does your community have any kind of volunteer fair annually to try to get people involved? That might be a good way to find a better fit for your skills and interests.
No kids either, but we often feel broke because of SL's and our house- which is in constant repair. Add the 4 animals we own- there is always some sort of expense there.
At one point I was considering getting another job- but wasn't sure when I be able to do it..already work way too many hours and I need to be home to handle our small farm.
What we do to keep dates cheap is get different passes from the library-all admission is either free or discounted. Weekly we have a netflix movie date at home, get some popcorn, candy from walmart and have a ball. In the summer we go to the beach at night, and check out the free concerts/movies on the beach. We often walk our dogs, and hit the gym together daily to fill in our time.
I get it though, sometimes I think, wow we should have done more by now, we are almost 30 here, we work a lot, barely have family time..We are trying to prioritize things though. Us, fun date nights out together, small weekends away, work outs..As for kids who knows if we will be ready--I keep thinking there is that perfect time that you will just know, but as of right now I doubt we would have enough time or support to do that at this time. Got plenty of time in the future though, I will be more worried about it later half of our 30's. For now looking forward to enjoying more time with DH and doing things most people with families couldnt.
I'm in the same boat too! We don't have any kids and I find that my life consists of the same routine day in and day out - get up, go to gym, go to work, take care of dogs, sleep, rinse, repeat. I feel "trapped" because we have two large dogs that need to be entertained when I get home from work -- I would love to go out and join a book club or do a second workout after work -- but because my husband doesn't get home until 7, I have to shoulder the responsibility of dog entertainment in the evenings. Then because we are trying to save as much as we can - we don't really do much on the weekends but watch TV and maybe go out for something to eat (and even that is limited).
Even hosting a super bowl party in 2 weeks is stressing me out a little because we'll have to buy extra stuff and I worry we're getting to an age where it isn't appropriate to ask people to bring both a dish to pass and their own beverages.
As others have said, a potluck is totally reasonable. You may consider saying that people should bring a dish to share OR drinks if you're uncomfortable asking for both. We always end up with a ton of food and beverages that way and it is less stress on people who don't like to cook.
You can serve baked potatoes and chili, it's pretty cheap and filling so there will def. be enough food.
Also, I can relate to the general funk. In fact, I recently started anti-depressants and seeing a counselor. It has been a slow journey, though (not helped by this time of the year). I can recommend the book Feeling Good for least effort/money and most gain.
As for the depressing things about my life, I just feel overwhelmed. We have a fair amount of free time and mostly veg, even though I "want" to get stuff done, eat better, exercise, clean, etc. I wonder often how I will fit kids into my life. I am trying to focus on one area at a time (first for me - decluttering and organizing the house since that's the most immediate gratification for me). Next I will move to diet/cooking more. It's too hard to tackle everything at once and stick to it.