how old is too old to re-name an adopted child?

[speckledfrog]

I think is the childis good with it then there isn't a problem with it.

[Deleted]

hmmm...sounds too old to me. although if the child's birth name was something that most americans wouldn't be able to pronounce/easy to ridicule, i might consider giving them a parallel american name. sort of like my friend dong, who changed his name to sean (legally, he moved dong to the middle) in 8th grade. although, of course, that was his choice.

[alzi]

i agree with cville. if the child would like to pick an americanized nickname, that is one thing, but renamed at 10? that is a bit odd.

[Deleted]

Sometimes an older adopted child prefers to get a new name.

[lostsouldancing]

Personally, I would keep their name and add another. I have two adopted sisters (age two and three when they were adopted) and that is what my parents did. Moved their given name to be their middle name.

[Deleted]

I don't think I would rename them. Maybe just give them a nickname. I couldn't see changing their name, it's like taking away apart of their culture, who they are.

If the child wanted to, like pp mentioned being teased for having an ethnic name, that would be another story.

[cleo29]

I was going to say, I wonder if the kid would like it because it would make them really feel like a part of that family. If that did happen, I think keeping their original name as their new middle name would be nice.

[lilibet]

If the child was ok with it then I'm ok with it. But at that age it might be hard to know if they fully *get* it and what changing their name means. Although the whole wanting the kid to have an American name makes me wonder why - to make it easier on the kid? to make the kid fit in better? why?


My parents adopted twins that they had fostered for a few years. I think they were 11 ish when the adoption went through. They both changed their names - one of them had the same name as me (different spelling) so that change was sort of needed and the other one just wanted to. They both wanted to and they picked names they liked. The hardest part was explaining it to their friends/getting people to remember it.


eta - I wanted to clarify the *get it* thing - would a 10 year old really get that this change was permanent? Or would they think this was some fun game where they get to tell people to call them Molly for a few days but they don't realize that their name is really different now. I'm honestly not sure. I haven't been around 10 year olds in a while.

[piaffe]

Friends from church also just adopted two sisters 7 and 6 they were given the option of what they wanted to be called and they each picked new names given by the new family. They still have their given names as well but they are called by their new name. I think it could symbolize a fresh start especially children who have only lived in an orphanage.

[lostsouldancing]

Yes I think at that age they should have some say on their name. If the parents want to give them another name, fine, but let them keep ( and use) their original name if that is what the child prefers

[hopecounts]

If the kid wants to change their name for the reasons above (fresh start, a part of the family, etc.) then fine but I wouldn't force it if they wanted to keep their birth name.
It should definitely be a decision the child is part of at that age. I would say the tricky part would be the ages from say 3-9 when they are old enough to get that their name was changed but not necessarily old enough to understand and be a part of the decision. I'd be torn on how to handle that if it was an unusual name that would be difficult for Americans to pronounce or would subject them to ridicule. I'd probably err on the side of leaving it and giving them the option to change the name when they are old enough to be a part of the decision.

[2boys2danes]

Our boys were almost 4 and almost 5 when we adopted them... We renamed them from Damir to William and from Roman to Timothy.....They were in an orphanage since birth and honestly we were told that it was quite common for the nurse at the hospital where they were left to name the kids. They know their old names and we occasionally call them by them but more in a fun singsong way.

[Deleted]

Jan 20, 2013 21:35:38 GMT -5 2boys2danes said:

Our boys were almost 4 and almost 5 when we adopted them... We renamed them from Damir to William and from Roman to Timothy.....They were in an orphanage since birth and honestly we were told that it was quite common for the nurse at the hospital where they were left to name the kids. They know their old names and we occasionally call them by them but more in a fun singsong way.

[Deleted]

Agree with nursecramer.

[2boys2danes]

Jan 20, 2013 21:39:05 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Jan 20, 2013 21:35:38 GMT -5 2boys2danes said:

Our boys were almost 4 and almost 5 when we adopted them... We renamed them from Damir to William and from Roman to Timothy.....They were in an orphanage since birth and honestly we were told that it was quite common for the nurse at the hospital where they were left to name the kids. They know their old names and we occasionally call them by them but more in a fun singsong way.

Maybe I didnt put that right but when we were making the transition from Russian to English we would call them WillDamir or RomanTim so they knew we were talking to them and recognized their new name.  Now, sometimes when I'm hollering for them to come downstairs and eat or go to school or whatever I'll mess around and say it a funny way or something.  Does that make sense?

[Deleted]

I don't think any amount of explanation will make sense to me, but that's ok.

[2boys2danes]

Jan 20, 2013 21:55:51 GMT -5 nursecramer said:

Jan 20, 2013 21:46:35 GMT -5 2boys2danes said:

Maybe I didnt put that right but when we were making the transition from Russian to English we would call them WillDamir or RomanTim so they knew we were talking to them and recognized their new name.  Now, sometimes when I'm hollering for them to come downstairs and eat or go to school or whatever I'll mess around and say it a funny way or something.  Does that make sense?

I think I kind of get it. I have a bunch of pet names for M that I chant or sing, but don't necessarily say in regular speech. Especially the long rhyming ones.

That is it absolutely!