When you have kids...

[Deleted]

I know many people that only like/tolerate their children only.

[eb777888]

Haha.

No.

Well, sort of. But having kids also makes me more intolerant of it. It's hard to explain.

[margotmacomber]

No. I don't even really like kids. I love mine, but must others not so much lol.

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[cleo29]

Not always. I do think you are more sympathetic to a parent who is trying to deal with a kid who is melting down in public, but not when they are doing nothing about it. And, I really hate when parents are not watching their children and reprimanding them when it is needed.

[jenna]

I'm more tolerant & understanding of babies crying. It doesn't bother me as much as 4 year old kids having a tantrum - but even that I can usually "tune out."

I am much more affected by kids who are hurt and/or missing that end up on the news. I actually rarely watch the news anymore.

[kristie]

No

I am more sympathetic to parents who are overwhelmed or dealing with a toddler mid breakdown. But I have less tolerance for parents who do nothing or unruly brats who are disruptive.

[Deleted]

I am definitely more tolerant or oblivious to other kids, but still get annoyed at screaming kids.

[Deleted]

Yes. You understand those parents much better, even if you try to prevent your kids from doing it.

There are times it was either let my kids be crazy at a cheap restaurant or the mall or something, or sit on my couch and cry in frustration at home.

[eb777888]

YES! The babies crying in the store thing, I'm way more tolerant of. Or the mom that's walking around the store with a screaming kid in her cart and she's happily ignoring him. Now, I totally get it, I'm much more tolerant.

But the kids running around, raising hell, I'm way less tolerant of.

[Deleted]

I'm alot more tolerant to tantrums and meltdowns of babies/toddlers/kids.

I am not tolerant of bad parenting.

That is a separate issue. Lol.


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[eddy]

Yes
And hearing a young baby crying still sends me into a panic.

[speckledfrog]

I'm perhaps a tiny more tolerant of other children but I am way more sympathetic towards other parents. I give a lot more leeway for "whatever works for you."

[Deleted]

Most typical American children are terrible.

Having one yourself is unlikely to render you unaware of just how terrible other children are.

[Deleted]

Oh yes. Newborns just wailing away make me teary, and I don't like babies.

Internally im screaming "pick him up! Give him a boob!" even though logically I know the kid could just be colicky or something.

[eb777888]

I feel totally coldhearted because when I hear a baby cry, I automatically sympathize with the mother, not the baby.

[Deleted]

Eb, i feel kind of sick for anyone who just had a baby, especially the first baby. My stomach sort of drops and I wince in sympathy when I think about a friend who just gave birth. :/

Then I make them a casserole. Lol.

[cleo29]

I still get annoyed when I think of the kid who elbowed (after trying several times before succeeding) C out of the way on the top of a slide which sent her tumbling backwards down the steps. The kid's mom said nothing and just continued eating her fucking kettle corn. The kid had already been acting up and the dad had been on it. I know kids will be kids and I can take that as long as I see parents being a parent and dealing with it.

[EmilieMadison]

Not really. I mean, in some cases, I have more empathy for the parents because sometimes kids are annoying (or, just acting like normal kids) and there's truly nothing you can do and it's shitty to have people glare at you. But in general, I'm probably even less tolerant of a lot of things that could/should be controlled.

[eb777888]

Jan 20, 2013 22:15:04 GMT -5 @stellasmom said:

Eb, i feel kind of sick for anyone who just had a baby, especially the first baby. My stomach sort of drops and I wince in sympathy when I think about a friend who just gave birth. :/

Then I make them a casserole. Lol.

Me too!!


I remember one time when we were in Central Market and S was about 10 weeks old, he melted down. Just completely lost it, wailing and would not stop. I was in a PANIC. He was fed, dry, had slept and I was panicked. I got no asshole looks, thank god, just a bunch of smiles and "hang in there, champ" looks, lol. But, eh, the kid will be fine. I think those meltdowns hurt the parents more, personally.

[hopecounts]

It made me more empathetic to the fact that maybe there is something going on with the kids/parent (family issue, illness, special needs, death) more willing to be tolerant and not judge.
I know that when my grandmother was dying and DD and I were back at my family home that we had a few bad days where she and I were a mess. DD was missing DH and signing/asking for Daddy all freaking day, I was missing my husband and dealing with a lot. Not to mention that with my mom at the hospital most of the time I had no real help and was either at the hospital or taking care of DD so I was run ragged.
Or my friend who has a little boy who is very tall for his age and could easily pass for older than he is, she was/is so afraid of being out with him because while he acts like a normal 3 yr old he looks 4 or 5 easily and so people don't always realize he's just a normal kid and she gets looks when he acts his age.
Or another family friend whose son is high functioning autistic and can tantrum or stim in public if/when he gets overwhelmed.
Point being you don't know what might be going on behind the scenes with a family so I try to assume that there is a reason for the craziness if an don't know them.
I rarely blame the kids for their behavior if mom and dad are there and should be correcting them so I don't get upset with them but I've always been that way.

[EmilieMadison]

Jan 20, 2013 22:04:25 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Most typical American children are terrible.

Having one yourself is unlikely to render you unaware of just how terrible other children are.

I think it's typical American parents that are terrible. Which, in turn, leads to terrible children. I'm constantly shocked at the way children behave publicly and even more shocked when parents do nothing about it. As a teacher, I see the result of so much shitty parenting. 

[BieberMyBalls]

No, I love my own kids, nieces and nephews, and my bff's son. I'm not a kid person, though. Especially if they're behaving like jerks. I sympathize with other parents to a point, but if their kids are acting crazy and they aren't attempting to calm them down, my sympathy goes out the window.

[Deleted]

No no no. That baby needs miniboden and stuff for your blog.

Absolute minimum should be babygap.

[mamasaurus]

Hell no. Half the time I'm someplace with other parents, it's not even ten minutes before I want to see how hard I can smack someone.

ETA: I do feel differently about crying babies. I want to pick them up and soothe them. It's tolerance of other parents that has become less, rather than greater, for me.

[sewpinkgal]

I'm much more sympathetic to crying newborns/infants. Like, I almost start crying myself if I hear one - I have flashbacks to J's super early days and my heart just breaks. I am also more sympathetic to parents that are obviously trying to parent a child that is having a meltdown.

Kids just running around being rude and the parents are looking the other direction? Nope. In fact, I think I get even more pissy now than I did before having J.

[thelongroad]

I have become somewhat more tolerant. Prior to having children, I used to get a headache and feel absolutely worked after spending a day with one of my girlfriends and their children. Now that I have children, it takes a lot for me to actually get annoyed and bugged. I still hate lazy parenting though, and I don't think that will ever change.

[Deleted]

I had the opposite happen. If other people's kids are acting up, I don't even notice. If mine starts acting up I get twitchy, b/c I feel like everyone's staring and judging.

[Deleted]

I think I'm in Amy's boat. If I DO notice someone else's kids being nutso, I'm generally just glad it's not my kids...today.

[DotAndBuzz]

I'm more tolerant and understanding of crying babies, because unless the mom is staring out the window picking her nose, chances are she wants that kid to stop crying even more than I do, and is probably doing everything she can to make that happen. I've been in her shoes, so I empathize with her a lot more now. Ditto for an older kid and a meltdown in public. Like, sometimes enforcing limits and being a "good parent" brings on the meltdown (like telling them no to something), so all you can do is try to get out of there as fast as you can. But I'm not going to lie, if I have a cart full of groceries, I'm probably going to continue checking out while my kid cries. Sorry.

As for the kids running around and being insane in public while mom calmly does her own thing? No. That still drives me crazy.

[Deleted]

My parents are whollu American and that shit would not fly.

I am more sympathetic to melt downs and esp when someone is in the checkout line w a screaming kid.

I am way less tolerant of bad or apathetic parenting. Running around in public (excluding obvious places where it is acceptable) is intolerable. Screaming especially. I get that kids have to move (i really really get it even now lol) but you have to make sure you give them a space to do it. Walk w them around a restaurant and talk about what you see, or let them run up and down the sidewalk outside lol. No running in the restaurant.