When the amount is over $1000, the rule is DH gets to spend half, then half goes to overall savings. It's money from my parents, so I've decided I get to have a say :-p
We get cash gifts from my parents for birthdays and Christmas. They go to the individual to do as they wish. If there is something we would like to buy that we don't have enough joint shopping money to get, we might each choose to contribute some money from our individual amounts to it. We've never gotten a gift over $500, but I think then we might do something differently depending on the occasion of the gift.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. To give more info, DH thinks I should donate a particularly generous gift I received since I don't "need" it and since I didn't expect or ask for it. And now he's made me feel like an arse for wanting to keep it.
screw that.
I didn't see this bit before I posted. I think it is pretty rude to donate a gift, especially a physical gift, just because you didn't expect or ask for it. And isn't the beauty of gifts that they can be something you don't need but might really like or enjoy just the same? Just my 2 cents, but I think you should keep it and your DH doesn't really get a say if it was a gift specifically to you.
This doesn't generally happen but I tend to talk over any money I get with H. He does the same. When we were in debt repayment mode we put almost everything (minus maybe $50 or $100) towards debt. Now we'll take a little more and save the rest unless there is something one of us has been eyeing. A physical gift is always the recipients.
Post by hurricanedrunk on Jan 22, 2013 6:44:45 GMT -5
Okay now I'm really curious about the gift you received.
For us if its something tangible it's up to the whoever received it. Bonus, money, or gift card it would be decided on together especially right now as we're in savings/ debt repayment mode.
Hey. Sorry to keep everyone in suspense, it wasn't done purposely. The gift (from a relative) was a stunning piece of jewelry, brand-new, that I would guess might be worth almost as much as my engagement ring. Maybe DH is bitter because he feels outdone or something? IDK, I've given up thinking about it and am going to wear this despite his crappy reaction.
Hey. Sorry to keep everyone in suspense, it wasn't done purposely. The gift (from a relative) was a stunning piece of jewelry, brand-new, that I would guess might be worth almost as much as my engagement ring. Maybe DH is bitter because he feels outdone or something? IDK, I've given up thinking about it and am going to wear this despite his crappy reaction.
Keep it and enjoy it. Your H will get over it. Also, feel free to PIP
Hey. Sorry to keep everyone in suspense, it wasn't done purposely. The gift (from a relative) was a stunning piece of jewelry, brand-new, that I would guess might be worth almost as much as my engagement ring. Maybe DH is bitter because he feels outdone or something? IDK, I've given up thinking about it and am going to wear this despite his crappy reaction.
Well that is completely different from a monetary gift. Keep it and enjoy. Tell your DH we all say shame on him for being a big baby about it and diminishing the excitement of such a generous gift. Post a pic if you want; we will gladly ooh and ahh over it. lol.
Hey. Sorry to keep everyone in suspense, it wasn't done purposely. The gift (from a relative) was a stunning piece of jewelry, brand-new, that I would guess might be worth almost as much as my engagement ring. Maybe DH is bitter because he feels outdone or something? IDK, I've given up thinking about it and am going to wear this despite his crappy reaction.
NO WAY should you donate something like that. I think that would be really hurtful to your relative.
We discuss, though given we are meeting our goals, usually the recipient has a say.
Example - I received an unexpected spot bonus last year, and it was a significant amount, for us. I discussed this with my husband, and we agreed to portion it out to our savings goals to get us ahead in a few places.
In the past, I have used spot bonuses to pay for things that are purely mine - like shoes. It just depends on what we are focused on at the time. Regardless, it is always something we discuss and come to agreement on. I'd be sad if I spent money (or he spent money) that was a nice "surprise" on something that the other person was not ok with or at least wasn't discussed.
H and I always make joint decisions about everything...big or small. Realistically no one is ever going to give us large sums of cash gifts lol unless it's an inheritance. But we normally buy what we want when we want so any sum of cash gifts would just go to the bank anyways.
I can relate my great grandmother handed down some rather expensive jewelry-but in our household normally any gifts/money stuff gets discussed by both of us.
A tangible item is the reciever's choice what to do with it. Thankfully our families are pretty good about giving equally though, so if she gets something big I probably did too, or it's joint.
Money or giftcards is pretty much joint decision just like any other finances, but we do try to spend gifts on fun stuff rather than boring stuff (or on what the giver intended - like if our parents hand us a $ for cab fare it'll probably go to that). We don't get bonuses and most monetary gifts are joint gifts anyways. We're pretty good about agreeing what to spend money on though.