Friend and Politics

[psychmom]

It's hard when you hit it off really well but realize you have huge fundamental differences. One of my BFFs here pretty much detests Obama whereas I'm a big fan. I think she realized our political differences when I wouldn't respond to offhand marks she'd make about the president. Now it's never brought up.

[UMaineTeach]

I have several people I liked, until I had them on FB. And I still like some of them in person, but I had to hide them.

[livinitup]

I'm a flaming liberal and have always had Republican friends. I don't feel the need to educate anyone, no matter how wrong they are.

Seriously, I have a right to my life experiences and let others have there's too. My time is too precious to point out that all modern presidents have speech writer. And I have no energy to get into a FB fight about who's writers propped their presidency up more - Bush or Obama. I'd much rather re-watch President Clinton go off script and NAIL IT at the Democratic Convention in 2012.

Anyway, be friends. It can be very interesting to have friends with lots of different points of view. And let her roll her eyes as much as she wants. My friends let me roll my eyes for 8 years of Bush. It didn't change their minds or mine.

Plus, he won the election. Enjoy it. Why loose a friend?

[psychmom]

I totally get where you're coming from. But if she's friends with you now, perhaps she isn't against your family like you're thinking she might be.

It's important to remember that good people, intelligent people, can disagree on things.

[EmilieMadison]

I've had friends who's beliefs do not mesh with mine. We've made it work in the short term, and on the surface. In the end, though, those friendships always fade or stay very surface level because it's hard to have a deep, lasting friendship with someone who pretty much believes the opposite of what I believe on such big issues.

[amberlyrose]

I think it depends on why they are Republicans to me.
If I were to find out they were the "anti-gay, Christianity is the only way, Obama is a Muslim Socialist" kind, then I would not be able to be friends with them. No way. I could be friendly aquaintances, but that'd be the extent.
If they were Republicans because of conservative fiscal policy, pro- military or isolationists, then I can deal. I'm in the military, so I work with many people who are like this. They are not in my close circle of friends but I can have a beer with them after work without politics flying.

[eb777888]

My IL's are die hard Republicans- extremely religious, anti abortion, Obama hating, gun loving, anti gay rights, etc. It is so annoying seeing their FB rants and just being around them when they start their political rants is fucking exhausting to me.

I also have a lot of Repulican friends. They are at least for gay marriage but pretty conservative otherwise. When Obama got a second term, a lot of my friends lost their shit and it has really come between us. I'm fine with not discussing it but they will not let shit go and always feel the need to ask me (because I'm the most liberal one in the group) "but how can you feel this way? How can you defend xyz.." And I'm like, dude, I want to have dinner and a glass of wine, not a political debate. I get enough of that with my IL's. It has really, really drawn a wedge in our friendship the past year.

[shostakovich]

Ugh - I hate when this happens. I know it's important to be open minded about people's differing opinions, but when a person is vocally, kind of vitriolically against something that I hold dear (like, oh I don't know, control over my own uterus), sometimes I find it hard to fully respect them again.

But, I'd say this: Talk to her about how you'd like to continue being friends, so you'd like to not discuss politics anymore. Also: Hide her FB posts. Then hopefully you guys can continue being friends and having fun together.

[DotAndBuzz]

My best friend is a huge flaming liberal. Like, she lives and breathes politics, gets really involved in union rallies, campaigns for local and national candidates, etc. I'm.....not. We agree about some things politically, but for the most part, we just don't talk about it. We have enough other stuff in common that it really isn't a big deal. I know what she thinks, she know what I think. That said, she isn't obnoxious about it on FB. Once in a while she'll post something, but it isn't an inflammatory propaganda post, so much as a "hooray! I'm glad the president did xyz."

I find that people who do post the obnoxious stuff (both conservative and liberal) are easier to deal with IRL if you just hide them on FB. Nothing will be gained /opinions changed by engaging in a FB argument, so just hide her, and decide if you like her enough IRL to keep hanging out. Not everyone you hang with has to be of the exact same mindset.

[Deleted]

Being a Republican isn't the problem. The immature way she expresses her opinions is the problem. There are plenty of sane, logical conservatives in the world.

[bab]

I have friends with whom I don't share political views. I tend to ignore their FB comments if they ever post them. I know I will never change their opinions and they will never change mine. The only time I have a problem is when people post racist, homophobic or otherwise offensive things.
"Obama uses a speechwriter" wouldn't even cross my radar. That's just dumb.

[amberlyrose]

I also have to say that I feel the same way about very liberal people too.
My SIL is a socialist and sometimes I have to stop our conversations because we are good friends and I don't want something being wedged between us.

[Jalapeñomel]

I am not sure I could be friends with someone who was against gay rights.

[Deleted]

Ya I wouldn't write her off either. My DH isn't an Obama supporter but I am. And we are married. Best to not discuss politics at all.

But if you feel like she doesn't accept your lifestyle or that you deserve the same rights (as some very strict republicans do) then its time to spring clean her right out of your life.

I have many conservative republican friends that I love dearly. They are republicans bc they are fiscally conservative but socially liberal.

[ECB]

When it comes to "liking" pictures and occasionally making a small political statement, I tend to just roll my eyes and ignore best I can. I have a few friends in my neighborhood who definitely have different views then I do. But face to face, we have a good time and politics don't come up.

However, there are people who go on rants almost daily on FB, and often post/quote inaccurate information to try and rile people up. These people I hide or even perhaps just unfriend. With these people - it absolutely seeps more into our friendship and in the big picture, I realize these are people that I'm not going to expend much energy on or go out of my way to see.

HOnestly, in a way, FB has allowed me to know some people better than I would have otherwise! My neighborhood friends- I know what kinds of topics to avoid or to not make blanket statements about because they aren't going to agree. We can more easily "agree to disagree" w/o it having a huge impact on our day to day lives.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

I find it a sign of immaturity for either side to not be able to have friends with differing political beliefs. Perhaps instead of "going off on her sometime," you should try to grow up and deal with it like an adult. Are you going to start sorting people by political party? If she won't let it be, that is one thing, but from what and how you write it, it sounds like you aren't even trying here.

I have friends and family with vastly different political/religious/social beliefs than I do. I value them for other parts of their personalities and belief systems and try to look past what I disagree with.

[murdock]

I have nothing constructive to say.

I'm glad I don't have FB. My ignorance if others' pages is bliss.

[Deleted]

There are Republicans.

And there are REPUBLICANS!!!!!!!

The truth is that I cannot befriend the latter.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jan 21, 2013 13:22:05 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

I find it a sign of immaturity for either side to not be able to have friends with differing political beliefs. Perhaps instead of "going off on her sometime," you should try to grow up and deal with it like an adult. Are you going to start sorting people by political party? If she won't let it be, that is one thing, but from what and how you write it, it sounds like you aren't even trying here.

I have friends and family with vastly different political/religious/social beliefs than I do. I value them for other parts of their personalities and belief systems and try to look past what I disagree with.

So she should be friends with someone who believes that who she is wrong, not deserving of equal right and should be treated like a lesser human being? That's immature?

[Jalapeñomel]

Ok, so I re-read the original post, and she didn't say that her friend was anti-gay, so I am just assuming here.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jan 21, 2013 13:28:52 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Jan 21, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

So she should be friends with someone who believes that who she is wrong, not deserving of equal right and should be treated like a lesser human being? That's immature?

Where was that said? She said she's supportive of her family.

Yeah, I didn't read that the first time, which is why I posted again that I was just assuming.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Jan 21, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

Jan 21, 2013 13:22:05 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

I find it a sign of immaturity for either side to not be able to have friends with differing political beliefs. Perhaps instead of "going off on her sometime," you should try to grow up and deal with it like an adult. Are you going to start sorting people by political party? If she won't let it be, that is one thing, but from what and how you write it, it sounds like you aren't even trying here.

I have friends and family with vastly different political/religious/social beliefs than I do. I value them for other parts of their personalities and belief systems and try to look past what I disagree with.

So she should be friends with someone who believes that who she is wrong, not deserving of equal right and should be treated like a lesser human being? That's immature?

I didn't say that. She doesn't seem to know where her friends stands on everything, and writing her off and already planning to go off on her seems immature to me.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jan 21, 2013 13:34:32 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Well it's nice to assume that all Republicans are anti-gay.

Sadly, I do assume this. I shouldn't but I do.

[Jalapeñomel]

Jan 21, 2013 13:33:17 GMT -5 thinkofthesoldiers said:

Jan 21, 2013 13:26:42 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

So she should be friends with someone who believes that who she is wrong, not deserving of equal right and should be treated like a lesser human being? That's immature?

I didn't say that. She doesn't seem to know where her friends stands on everything, and writing her off and already planning to go off on her seems immature to me.

I took it back! I took it all back!

[Jalapeñomel]

Jan 21, 2013 13:40:36 GMT -5 @themommymonster said:

Jan 21, 2013 13:34:32 GMT -5 letsgetweird said:

Well it's nice to assume that all Republicans are anti-gay.

I didn't say that all Republicans were anti-gay. I said I realize that there are Republicans who support LGBT rights and that I know it is wrong to lump all Republicans into that category.

If you were told on a daily basis that your family doesn't matter, is gross, is wrong and that your child deserves better, deserves a mother/father you'd be fucking sensitive, too.

She was talking to me. I assumed that.

[thebamker]

I think you should defriend this ass bag and continue sitting at home.

[Jermys]

Anyone who actually believes repubs are fiscally conservative anymore needs to do a little research.

ETA: that should say the Republican Party.  I realize that there are individual repubs who are fiscally conservative.

[Deleted]

One of my pretty good friends and I are on completely opposite sides of the political spectrum. WE just avoid discussing it and actually, we have tons of other things in common so it hasn't been a major issue at all.

[Deleted]

I have friends and family who are ultra-conservative. While sometimes the crazy stuff is annoying, it helps keep my views aligned without just blindly following a more liberal agenda, if that makes sense. I think I'm more involved with reading the news and keeping up with things because I'm brought to the table quite frequently to defend them, and I think you should be able to defend your opinions with facts.

But I'm not a fan of crazy liberals either. Those jokers make me look bad!


Sent from my cream of crap.

[cheeseandcrackers]

I wish I would have hid all of my friends posts when the elections were going on. I knew this one chick from highschool and we go way back, but after reading some of the racial and ignorant crap she wrote on her wall, I can never look at her the same. :/