In the same vein as His, I hate that it's cool to be disgusted by your own body on here. Whether its your weight, or body hair, or vaginal secretions, etc.
It's one thing to chose to control something about your body, but it's another to be "OMFG I can't believe you don't shower twice a day and get your asshole bleached biweekly, and handle your own boogers with antimicrobial tweezers!"
If you marry someone claiming to love them, then start off the marriage saying "You don't communicate in a way I like-- YOU need to change", how is the next marriage going to be any better?
this is so incredibly wrong. and a horrible generalization.
If you marry someone claiming to love them, then start off the marriage saying "You don't communicate in a way I like-- YOU need to change", how is the next marriage going to be any better?
leaving aside the fact that your response here grossly mischaracterizes the communication issues cited by many as a reason for the dissolution of their marriages, even within the context of your own pooor example it's perfectly reasonable to think that--since everyone is a unique and wonderful snowflake--maybe the next marital partner will communicate better. come on. let's get real. you think that women (because, let's be honest, this is a women's message board where women complain) should just suck it up and deal unless they're hit or cheated on, pretty much. it's okay. 1840 agreed with you.
It annoys me when people use gender instead of sex in a sentence because they mean different things. It was in a post here but people do it when they speak all.the.time.
I think in time your & you're will be one and the same as your in written speech across America. People don't care enough to correct others. It makes me angry.
leaving aside the fact that your response here grossly mischaracterizes the communication issues cited by many as a reason for the dissolution of their marriages, even within the context of your own pooor example it's perfectly reasonable to think that--since everyone is a unique and wonderful snowflake--maybe the next marital partner will communicate better. come on. let's get real. you think that women (because, let's be honest, this is a women's message board where women complain) should just suck it up and deal unless they're hit or cheated on, pretty much. it's okay. 1840 agreed with you.
No, I think they should go to therapy and work on it. Individually, together, whatever it takes. Work on changing YOUR communication style, so if your H shows love through service, don't say you'll "let him" do laundry like it's a huge favor you're doing, realize that his method of communicating is just as valid as yours.
And sure, legally, you can divorce your husband for toenail clipping, but I lose respect for people whose marriage vows mean so little.
Also, this argument extends to people who find it more favorable let their home go into foreclosure rather than give up cable. LOOKING AT YOU @mrdobalina.
you're hilarious. love languages. okay. so, if my husband was a total dick to me verbally (ignoring my needs, shutting me down), but did the laundry and claimed that was his love language i'm supposed to be the one changing? let's say i'm the one doing the laundry and my husband is all "why don't you talk to me more?" i should just give him the heisman and tell him to do the changing, right? because it's all about how i show love. through service, validly. (let me guess, in THAT scenario, you say no!).
In the same vein as His, I hate that it's cool to be disgusted by your own body on here. Whether its your weight, or body hair, or vaginal secretions, etc.
It's one thing to chose to control something about your body, but it's another to be "OMFG I can't believe you don't shower twice a day and get your asshole bleached biweekly, and handle your own boogers with antimicrobial tweezers!"
I exaggerate, obviously, but yeah.
i hate on my body a lot, but it has nothing to do with it being cool. it's a mental health issue and trust me, i wish it was different.
In terms of marriage, it is not the other person's job to make you happy. Not saying they should be actively trying to add to your unhappiness, but it is not the job of my H to make 100% happy all the time and to know what I need and how I need it.
Okay, I'm sorry, but if you had my vaginal secretions, you'd be grossed out too! A woman's body is a beautiful creation, blah blah blah... but getting perpetually slimed by your own vagina is gross. And annoying. I'm not talking finding a bit of "leftovers" on your underwear at the end of the day.
you're hilarious. love languages. okay. so, if my husband was a total dick to me verbally (ignoring my needs, shutting me down), but did the laundry and claimed that was his love language i'm supposed to be the one changing? let's say i'm the one doing the laundry and my husband is all "why don't you talk to me more?" i should just give him the heisman and tell him to do the changing, right? because it's all about how i show love. through service, validly. (let me guess, in THAT scenario, you say no!).
you should change your name to bootstraps.
Yes. Women should do all the compromising. Is that what you want to hear?
I'm saying both parties need to find a solution that they both find acceptable. Stomping your feet and telling your husband that you've never been happy in the entire time you've been married is not a mature response.
And I'm not the one who love languaged. Take it up with the PPer who brought it up first.
so, let's say i HAVE been unhappy my entire marriage. i'm just supposed to keep mum about it and work on myself? that sounds productive. nothing like making one person do a two-person job. ever try that with ikea furniture assembly? shit falls apart quickly. and usually involving some sort of bruising.
Am I supposed to care what SomebodyElse thinks? I'm pretty sure I'm not, which is good.
Hit a little too close to home?? "My XH is a great guy whom I care about and respect and we get along really well but I just wasn't in love with him but my friend can't date him either!"
It doesn't hit close to home at all, and your Cliffs Notes are lacking some seriously important nuance.
Why do you have this weird hard-on for people who chose to get divorced and who might be better off because of it?
Post by daisyheadmaizie on Jan 22, 2013 12:53:36 GMT -5
I thinker tickers for length of time TTC are dumb.
Also, I love exclamation points and use them frequently, but there is one person who uses two after every single sentence and it is driving me crazy.
If TOTS would stop trying so hard to be shocking and snatchy, I would agree with her more. I feel like underneath all the shock factor she is frequently spot on.
Hit a little too close to home?? "My XH is a great guy whom I care about and respect and we get along really well but I just wasn't in love with him but my friend can't date him either!"
It doesn't hit close to home at all, and your Cliffs Notes are lacking some seriously important nuance.
Why do you have this weird hard-on for people who chose to get divorced and who might be better off because of it?
Additionally, you're a fucking creep.
now THAT is the way to end a post.
i might use this as my new workplace email signature.
If TOTS came over to my house, cleaned my bathrooms, gave me an amazing mani-pedi, and then made me a pitcher of sangria while Joseph Gordon-Levit rocked my body at her behest, I might like her a little better, but I'd still think she was a rotten bitchface because she goes after kids to get at people. Also, she's a coward for the handful of times she's DD'd after negative comments.
Never have I ever deleted. You have me confused with someone else. Not once. And I love that you still have a hard on for me. Keep it up since it is so attractive on you.
so, let's say i HAVE been unhappy my entire marriage. i'm just supposed to keep mum about it and work on myself? that sounds productive. nothing like making one person do a two-person job. ever try that with ikea furniture assembly? shit falls apart quickly. and usually involving some sort of bruising.
Is this new slang, where the phrase both parties means one person? Is English your second language? BOTH PEOPLE are in a marriage. BOTH should be committed to fixing it.
yet telling your husband that you aren't happy is "stomping your feet" and "being immature"?
so, which is it? you're allowed to discuss unhappiness because then maybe you can work on things together OR you're not allowed to discuss unhappiness because that makes you a petulent, pro-divorce child? or is it a third option--being unhappy in a marriage is in and of itself unacceptable because "vows" are "important" and should be "respected"?
you don't even know what you mean, which is why responding to you is a fruitless moving target. you just want to jab at people who happen to have been divorced because that's your online jollies today. have fun!
We're getting another cat and we live in 500 sq ft.
I don't give a rat's ass about decorating and think it is mostly a waste of time and it funds sweatshops.
If I decorate, my mom or I make it from fabric made in the USA/by people we know. That and some figurines I have accumulated over time (Precious moments, stuff from FIL).
If I were to get divorced, I wouldn't have an unhappy second marriage. Because there is 0.0000% chance I would ever get married again.
lol. I don't think I would either.
See, I totally would marry again. I'd like to get it right, y'know? Choose more wisely, address and resolve issues more effectively. I want to use what I learned through the whole thing!
It weirds me out that I'm as optimistic about this as I am. This is not the way I normally think.