I'm afraid of this. DH's sister hasn't worked in years (she is not very secretive with her plan to get KU again by her first baby daddy so she could SAH with the ILs a few more years.)
I'm also afraid that we'll be pressured into using her for daycare. If her current approach is any indication, I don't want the Disney channel raising our kid while she plays games/texts on her phone.
It depends. DH and I talked and we know that BIL will need some help (he has been in and out of trouble) and his parents can only do so much. I hope they are smart and have some kind of savings for him. As for my sister and brother, they are on their own.
Post by badtzmaru22 on Jan 22, 2013 15:36:00 GMT -5
Well we are "poor" compared to DH's sisters, and they are also crazy, but that's not the point. SIL1 was really insensitive during one of the periods where DH was unemployed (like, went on a rampage to us about how dare Obama say she's rich, when we were actually struggling) so too bad for them if they're spending all their money now.
My brother and sister are doing well for themselves, and are probably going to be just fine. I'm more worried about us, but I'd see if there was a way to help my sibs if they ever needed it. Actually, I'm the most concerned about MIL/FIL, but they can go live with their Obama-rich daughter.
Nope! My younger brother is in for a rude awakening if he thinks I am going to help him out.
He has been partially supported/dug out of financial holes of his own making by my parents his whole adult life since he has only ever worked dead end jobs. He could be doing much better but he loses every.single.job due to excessive absenteeism or he just walks off the job because he is "just done with that place." He doesn't have any health conditions or mental limitations, it is just because he is lazy unless he is doing exactly what he wants when he wants to do it. If it is something he wants then he has all the energy/motivation in the world. He also has lived well beyond his means for years trying to make people think he is better off than he is.
I have also let my parents know, in no uncertain terms, that I will not be supporting bro. I got a guilt trip about this once and I put a full stop to that. I responded with he is my brother, not my child. They made the choice to support his fuckery all these years and that's fine, it is their money to do with what they pleased but I was not going to do the same. Yup, that went over like a fart in a spacesuit. But I am holding fast on this one. (btw, younger bro is almost 40 so it isn't like he is 22 or something.)
DH's mother on the other hand will probably become our problem. She is a total financial train wreck too.
Post by awkwardpenguin on Jan 22, 2013 15:49:28 GMT -5
My sister is a hot mess and a single mother. My mom is subsidizing her heavily and I'm not sure if she'll get it together or not. She does ask for money advice though, and I've given her some MM books and answered questions when she has them. She's only 28, so she has time to catch up on retirement. Her boyfriend is a CPA and a small business owner - this gives me some hope.
I'm not sure how I'll feel when I'm 70, but I'm pretty sure I'd let my sister come live with me if it came to that. You just never know what can happen. A friend of mine's elderly mother had to take in her elderly sister when her sister's husband passed away. Her only daughter has major mental health problems and her sister can't live alone due to dementia, but isn't really sick enough for a nursing home.
I am an only but Dh has 4 siblings. DH's parents have instilled good money management principles in their children so I think everyone will be fine. Two are out in the working world and doing fine so far as I can tell. Own modest homes and cars, make good incomes and do live beyond their means from what I can tell. One is still in college but working toward being a CPA. Considering the occupation I hope he will be fine. The youngest is a senior in hih school. I don't know what the future holds for him but so far he has a good head on his shoulders. I believe he already has something around $3-4k in the bank and just turned 18 recently. That money will be used for a church mission he will be going on but at least he knows how to save. I don't know that we will ever be in a position to help but I would think that we would only give money that is above and beyond what we will need for our own retirement.
They both are not saving for retirement at a significant level, if at all. They are both spendthrifts. One is in serious CC debt but has a party lifestyle. The other has no debt, but also has no steady employment (she is a tutor) and spends everything she makes (and lives at home).
Post by daydreamer on Jan 22, 2013 16:55:20 GMT -5
Well. I would hope my brother would be sympathetic to me, but who knows. Conversely, I would definitely have a sibling come to live with us if they needed a place to stay and we had an extra bedroom like we currently have.
Our siblings are better off than us income wise, but I have no idea their money management skills. I would be very surprised if my brother hadn't been maxing out his 401K at a large, stable company for the last 20 years. The work histories of my SIL and BIL have been more erratic but both make a lot of money when they are working.
I assume my brother will need something in his old age. And I will probably help him somehow. He has a long road ahead of him, though. So we'll see what happens.
One sibling does not have a traditional retirement plan, but will have significant assets to liquidate and will be fine.
One sibling is only 21. Not sure what his future holds yet, but he still has plenty of time. He had a rough upbringing and I'd like to think that he can come to me if he needs to.
One sibling has disowned us.
The oldest sibling is where I have issues. This sibling is 40 and has never worked. They struggle paying for the basics, like utilities and the mortgage. Yet they still rub it in our faces that they have luxury items that we can't afford, even though we make 3x what they do. I like to say I won't help them in retirement, but it's a little more complex than that. How do you tell someone, "No, I won't pay for your medications/heat/food." It's something I really worry about.
My brother is doing fine so I believe he won't have retirement issues, but if he needed our help, we would absolutely help. My little sister and BIL are 12 so who knows how they'll be when they grow up. As long as they work hard in life and try their best then we'll help, otherwise no.
I feel cold hearted saying this, but while I'd be sympathetic, I don't think I would be willing to bail out any of my siblings, let alone any of DH's. My 2 brothers I don't worry about, because they have steady jobs and are definitely saving for retirement. My younger sister is still in college, but I'd like to think when she finally gets a job, we will all help her to understand how important savings is. I doubt either of DH's brothers have much saved, despite having decent jobs. They just aren't super responsible with money, and IMO that is their own fault and not something I should have to pay for down the road.
Post by jerseyjaybird on Jan 22, 2013 22:09:34 GMT -5
My BIL is in medical device sales and my sister is currently a SAHM but has a good earning potential. I work for a non-profit. I'd never turn my back on them, but they're so much better off than I am.
SO has one brother, who's eleven years older than she is. I assume that he's fine, financially.
Post by midnightmare81 on Jan 23, 2013 1:23:26 GMT -5
I only have a 1/2 sibling. He has a low level form of autism, but should be high functioning. He however is babied and his mother uses his "disability" as the reason he can't do really anything, and as her main source of income from my father (PA is WAY to blindly hard on fathers without looking at how the mother is helping him in life). In reality he could learn to be a functioning normal human being if everyone stopped giving him excuses. I see him being VERY low functioning and always depending on his mother and my father, which means my father pretty much for life. If something happened to his mother, I would help my father if I could, and make sure to try and work with him so he could at least work a minimum wage job. At this time I cannot do that because of his mother and her ways