If my last long term relationship included bad sex, I would be making sure that my next relationship didn't have that problem. It would probably include some good horing time prior to getting into another relationship.
If sex isn't important to her, why does she talk about it so much? It seems like a weird thing to bring up to friends if it doesn't matter to you.
To be fair, the only reason I know most of this is because when they first started dating I said he was probably a virgin. Because I'm like that. And like a week later she found out that he was, and so I pestered her with questions.
If my last long term relationship included bad sex, I would be making sure that my next relationship didn't have that problem. It would probably include some good horing time prior to getting into another relationship.
If sex isn't important to her, why does she talk about it so much? It seems like a weird thing to bring up to friends if it doesn't matter to you.
Exactly
She went from bad sex to a man who refuses to stuff her oven! Seems to me like maybe she should have taken some time off and get her head straight. Maybe she needs some whoring to understand what good sex is? and why it is so important in a relationship?
To be fair, the only reason I know most of this is because when they first started dating I said he was probably a virgin. Because I'm like that. And like a week later she found out that he was, and so I pestered her with questions.
Was it abuse smock? I could see someone being attracted to a virgin because they think it's safe and are safe against being hurt. That is why I was attracted to my ex-FI.
Post by fussbucket on Jan 23, 2013 11:19:33 GMT -5
This is a yes to me at any age, not necessarily just due to incompatible-sex parameters but more incompatible worldviews. I can respect someone who holds such a view for themselves, but I'm not going to date them and get myself wrapped up in it too.
No abuse, doglove, but her ex cheated on her for a really long time. I'm guessing she might be partially attracted to this guy because she thinks he wouldn't do that? (of course, being a virgin is not some cheat-proof barrier, but maybe she likes that he is saying sex is something super special and important and not something to be taken lightly.)
Sorry, Smock. And imoan. And all the rest of you non-hors.
I know. I can sense my whore-window closing, and it's a sad thing. Maybe if Mr. Smock dies first I'll become an 80 year old whore.
I have a friend whose plan is to hit all the hard drugs when she turns 80, because by then it won't matter. So don't rule out being a 80-year-old crackwhore if you go that route!
No abuse, doglove, but her ex cheated on her for a really long time. I'm guessing she might be partially attracted to this guy because she thinks he wouldn't do that? (of course, being a virgin is not some cheat-proof barrier, but maybe she likes that he is saying sex is something super special and important and not something to be taken lightly.)
See this makes no sense to me...if he is "going at it" with her....that doesnt mean he wouldnt go at it with someone else.
Sorry, Smock. And imoan. And all the rest of you non-hors.
I know. I can sense my whore-window closing, and it's a sad thing. Maybe if Mr. Smock dies first I'll become an 80 year old whore.
Apparently nursing homes are a hotbed of venereal disease for this exact reason. So, use condoms, old lady whore Smock.
I'm weirded out by a dude who apparently only has one sex act left he hasn't performed at least once (to 'leave for his wife'), and it's PIV intercourse. I mean, since he's a virgin anal fisting or whatever may not even be on his radar, but like, goatse and tubgirl are things.
Post by jojoandleo on Jan 23, 2013 12:53:41 GMT -5
I would date a thirty year old virgin if he was open to sex before marriage. There is no way I would marry a guy without having sex.
A-you need to know if you are compatible there. I had an XBF who was awesome at oral, but straight up sex was weird and awkward, and I am not sure he knew which hole was what...ever. I would want to work on that BEFORE getting married.
B-If their reason was religious, I am not religious. If their reason was to "save it for their wife" well-I'm not virgin and saved nothing for him-would that build resentment? I wouldn't want that thrown in my face
C-are there other issues there that may need to be worked through? I mean, I don't want to be married to a guy, have sex the first time ever and have it bring up some past abuse I didn't know about, or feelings of guilt from church or something. I would want to know his issues before committing to him.
This thread is now making me sad but I'm super sensitive today for some reason. My brother is 28 and will likely never have sex. Unless he finds a very understanding woman that also has Aspergers, but that's highly unlikely.
I don't know why I'm ok being anti-virgin but I'm not ok with others being anti-virgin.
I know. I can sense my whore-window closing, and it's a sad thing. Maybe if Mr. Smock dies first I'll become an 80 year old whore.
I have a friend whose plan is to hit all the hard drugs when she turns 80, because by then it won't matter. So don't rule out being a 80-year-old crackwhore if you go that route!
It might be really interesting. My H used to deal with an old folks home. Those people got it on. The nurses had stories of hips breaking, Women fighting over different guys. People "visiting" others rooms. Lots of blue pills and just wild craziness.
I would need to test drive. I think waiting until marriage for non-religious reasons is naive. IMO it comes from and opinion that all people are sexually compatible and that's the end of the story.
If I waited and sex was bad I would be worried that he thought sex was always bad and that was just life or that he thought there was something wrong with one or both of us. Of course, things like technique are something you can work through with good communication but I feel like it starts your marriage in a weird place.
Bowies, what was that movie that just came out about sex therapists? The Sessions? Would your brother be open to something like that? They talked about it a lot on NPR and apparently it's a real thing.
This thread is now making me sad but I'm super sensitive today for some reason. My brother is 28 and will likely never have sex. Unless he finds a very understanding woman that also has Aspergers, but that's highly unlikely.
I don't know why I'm ok being anti-virgin but I'm not ok with others being anti-virgin.
::passes a box of chocolates to Bowies::
Lots of women will deflower a man. It's just that many won't wait until marriage to do so.
Yes, he wants to have sex. But he wants it to come via an emotionally intimate relationship. I think that's what has me so sad - that he still has this hope/idealism that he can have that, but I'm not sure he's capable unless he also finds an Aspie that "gets" him.
I go back and forth between worrying he'll never lose that naive hope, and worrying that one day he will.
Post by wrathofkuus on Jan 24, 2013 14:48:27 GMT -5
You know, he probably will if he puts in the legwork. Does he meet other people with Asp, maybe even online?
I also want to clarify that my dealbreaker was waiting for marriage, not the virginity. There are many ways that the reason for being a virgin might be a dealbreaker, too, but it isn't the virginity per se.
Post by wrathofkuus on Jan 24, 2013 14:48:32 GMT -5
You know, he probably will if he puts in the legwork. Does he meet other people with Asp, maybe even online?
I also want to clarify that my dealbreaker was waiting for marriage, not the virginity. There are many ways that the reason for being a virgin might be a dealbreaker, too, but it isn't the virginity per se.