So why would it be a deal breaker? Because you would assume it indicated incompatible views? Or because you wouldn't want to marry someone without testing things out first? Does it change your opinion if the reason isn't religious, and if the guy will do anything except penis in vagina before marriage?
I would say incompatible views. I am not religious and wouldn't want to marry someone polar opposite in that regard. If not for religious reasons, I would think some other issue may be going on (like my ex-FI).
I would say incompatible views. I am not religious and wouldn't want to marry someone polar opposite in that regard. If not for religious reasons, I would think some other issue may be going on (like my ex-FI).
I'm also just going to drop this quote here: “Who does not know that everything which is bought is tried by the purchaser before he buys it, except a wife? He may not see if she pleases him before he takes her home.” --Boccaccio
Post by partiallysunny on Jan 23, 2013 10:34:21 GMT -5
I want to know why you are asking!
Yes, I'd assume incomparable views. If it's not religious, then I'd assume there a deeper issue.
If a guy came up to me and said "no sex til marriage" I'd have to ask "why?". What would he tell me? "No reason. I'll do anything else, just no penis in vagina." I'd look at him sideways. There has to be some reason. At the age of 30, he should know what that reason is.
A friend of mine is dating a virgin, and she disagrees with him on the premarital sex front, and I'm not sure why it isn't a deal breaker for her. They've talked about it a lot, and his reason is apparently along the lines of wanting to share that one last special thing only with his wife? I'm very baffled by the whole thing.
If it's not religious, and he'll do "everything but...", it just comes across as there are possibly some deep seated issues there.
I actually know a guy who is in his mid-40's and a virgin. Very nice guy, but he's got some pretty big issues from his childhood. His reasons may be religious (i've never asked him directly), but still - there is more going on w/ him than just that.
A friend of mine is dating a virgin, and she disagrees with him on the premarital sex front, and I'm not sure why it isn't a deal breaker for her. They've talked about it a lot, and his reason is apparently along the lines of wanting to share that one last special thing only with his wife? I'm very baffled by the whole thing.
How old is she? Does she not like sex? How long have they been dating?
I know two girls. One is waiting until marriage she's 31 and she's awesome but she seems to have a really hard time getting guys to stay around.
Another girl who was around 30. She was waiting for marriage but then I think she just said screw it and did it. She then when on the crazy train and doing the "party stuff" that most people get over in their early twenties in undergrad. When she told me she started down a bad druggy path I let the friendship go. We were just moving in two different directions.
No way would I date a virgin who planned to stay that way until marriage. Life is too short to risk bad sex. Also, if it were a religious thing it would be another sign we're incompatible.
Mags, she's 30-ish, just out of a really bad relationship with really bad sex, and has been seeing the new guy for a few weeks. If he's a safe rebound guy who won't pressure her to have sex and won't cheat on her, I get it. If she's looking for something more long term, I'm not sure why she wants to date this particular guy.
Mags, she's 30-ish, just out of a really bad relationship with really bad sex, and has been seeing the new guy for a few weeks. If he's a safe rebound guy who won't pressure her to have sex and won't cheat on her, I get it. If she's looking for something more long term, I'm not sure why she wants to date this particular guy.
So, he is like a friend~ They go out, eat dinner, go to the movies, etc...just no sex. That is whati have gf's for!
If she isnt looking for long term I still dont get it. Why lead the guy to think this could possibly work?
Maybe she doesn't care that much about sex? The last relationship ended when the guy slept with someone else, so maybe she's counting on the new guy not doing that?