Annoyed by friend's parenting

[phunluvin82]

I can see how that would be annoying. Thankfully you haven't raised the sort of child who throws a fit when they see their friends getting stuff and can't have the same thing. Then it would be a nightmare!

So, I think, good for you for not having a spoiled kiddo! /gavel

[macmars45]

Jan 23, 2013 17:39:09 GMT -5 phunluvin82 said:

I can see how that would be annoying. Thankfully you haven't raised the sort of child who throws a fit when they see their friends getting stuff and can't have the same thing. Then it would be a nightmare!

So, I think, good for you for not having a spoiled kiddo! /gavel

I agree. Don't sweat it.

[definitelyO]

the only thing you could do - if you feel comfortable is tell your friend that you totally understand all the things she wants to give her DD, but would there be any way for her to do that when your DD isn't around b/c you don't give the same things? OR - can you plan other playdates where you can kind of control where you go and what options there are (not an amusement park or tea party) but at a playground or pool or park?

[noodleoo]

Time for new friends. This is only going to get worse as she gets older. And asking her to change her behavior in front of your daughter probably won't go over well. She'll take that as you judging her parenting.

[Deleted]

Jan 23, 2013 18:35:00 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Time for new friends. This is only going to get worse as she gets older. And asking her to change her behavior in front of your daughter probably won't go over well. She'll take that as you judging her parenting.

Yep. Dont even think of asking her to change her parenting style to suit your kid and how you parent. Would you want her to ask you to chil out and buy your kid the $5.00 cup?
It is going to get much much worse as they get older. With clothes, cars, etc.
Honestly, start backing out now.

[Deleted]

Sounds like your friend is buying a bunch of trinkity junk that she's going to have to deal with / donate / organize / manage. Gross.

Thew few kids I grew up with that ALWAYS had that stuff - just did NOT appreciate it and took it for granted. I'm judging your friend and I think you're the better (more MM) and also less trinkity mom. Literally the thought of EVEN ONE souvenir glasses makes me want to throw up!! I like my cupboards to be TIDY, thank you very much.

[dexteroni]

I had a friend like your friend's daughter growing up. She got every cool toy, they went to every Disney on Ice type of show, saw every movie in the theater opening weekend, and if there was a cool fast food toy series, they went back until they had all of them. I used to get *so* jealous, and I thought my mom's explanation of why we didn't do that was just jealousy on her part. lol. But as we got older (like ages 8 - 9), she became basically a huge braggy AW who was prone to meltdowns if she didn't get her way (surprise). It started to get embarrassing, I stopped wanting to do stuff with her as much, and we grew apart.

You are 100% doing the right thing, but I can understand how annoying it must be. I think minimizing your time with them is probably best for your sanity.

[DarcyLongfellow]

I actually think it's okay to say something. Don't ask her to change her behavior, but I think it's totally fine to (nicely) explain why you're no longer willing to go to amusement parks, etc. with her. If I were in that situation, I'd limit interactions to playdates at each others' houses and playgrounds.

Also, I wanted to share a parenting tip I learned at a parenting class when DD was small. "Today is not a toy buying day." If you use it consistently, it's magical. That way you don't have to get into why she can't have X or whether she was a good girl and deserves the toy. It's just not a day on which you will be buying toys. It sounds like you're doing well on this front, but I just wanted to give you another tool to use :-)