How important is work/life balance

[twodogsandababy]

H is deployed on a back to back deployment.  I work 30 hours a week for my office job and have a part time work from home job that is separate.  Lately our son has been more demanding and I am feeling very stressed about the work from home job and finding time to do it and still have time for my hobbies and to do basic housekeeping/grocery shopping.  I do not want to hire a house cleaner. We do not need the money from my second job, but I am feeling guilty about quitting.  I feel like H is working so hard and here I am whining that I don't have enough time to read and do laundry.  I feel like anytime DS is sleeping, I should be working and I feel guilty if I am not.  The extra money is nice and helps us work towards our goal of paying off our rental property.  I also know that we could be transferred within the next two years and having the work from home job would be nice then.  H has said I could quit, but also said that the extra money was nice.  So, how important to you is balance, and would you quit the WFH job?  

[aspentosh]

If we didn't need it to get by each month and it were making me miserable (due to lack of time for other wants and needs), then I'd quit. You should be able to relax and read without feeling guilty about it!

[Deleted]

Would hiring the housekeeper make you no longer want to quit the part time job?

[Deleted]

Since your life is unpredictable and you don't know what you will need in 2 years, I would try to hire help first to lessen the burden. I'd hire a cleaner to come 1x/wk and do laundry too, and I would hire a sitter for 1x/wk, either to be used to WFH or go out and relax. Then, if you are still feeling stressed, quit one job. I would even consider quitting the 30 hour/wk job in favor of keeping the WFH job long-term.

[h]

I would either hire a housecleaner or quit the second job. I don't think any parent should feel compelled to hold down two jobs and do all the cleaning alone unless their financial situation requires it.

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2013 13:21:53 GMT -5 h said:

I would either hire a housecleaner or quit the second job. I don't think any parent should feel compelled to hold down two jobs and do all the cleaning alone unless their financial situation requires it.

This is great advice.

[CloudBee]

You're practically a single parent right now. In this instance, I view time as having more importance. You're in this on your own. You need a breather.

[twodogsandababy]

I do not want to hire a cleaner because I enjoy cleaning myself, it relaxes me.  DS does go to daycare 3 days a week and then spends one day with my parents.  On our days together DS and I usually go to at least one playdate and run our errands.  I work if/while DS naps and after bedtime.  We do not need the money from my office job either, that money goes into savings/spent on splurges.  We can afford everything on H's paycheck, even if we do not have a renter in our rental. I think what is really keeping me from quitting is the uncertainty of the future, but H will be trying to pull orders to stay in the area, in which case I would still have my office job. I really enjoy my office job a lot.

[aspentosh]

I will add, that if hiring a housecleaner is preferred (as in you'd rather keep your second job and not clean) then I'd definitely go that route.

[Deleted]

With the follow up information, quit the second job. Don't feel guilty. Enjoy your cleaning and the extra time with your son.

It's just hard for me to fathom that some people like cleaning.

[krystee]

I would quit, but do so on very, very good terms, so you can potentially go back to them. Explain that your husband unexpectedly deployed so you have more responsibilities than you'd planned for, and while you really love the company, you need to step back for now. Ask them if they'd like you to work until they find a replacement, tell them they can call on you for special projects or when they're short-handed(if you want), and tell them you hope to be able to work for them again in the future.

[mishap]

I am in the same boat as having an extra WFH freelance job that I really dislike but can't seem to let go. However, I can't imagine having to do it without any breaks from DH.

I agree that I would hire a house cleaner before I quit the job. You can always get rid of the house cleaning if you truly don't want it, but once you quit your job -- that's it. I understand about having the security of a WFH job in case you need to move.

[twodogsandababy]

Jan 24, 2013 13:28:47 GMT -5 @totsintosa said:

With the follow up information, quit the second job. Don't feel guilty. Enjoy your cleaning and the extra time with your son.

It's just hard for me to fathom that some people like cleaning.

Ha, it's sick, I know.  It's my OCD.  There is just something satisfying in sweeping and mopping and cleaning and then seeing it all shiny and nice looking.  I may have spent Sunday cleaning my pantry tweeker-style scrubbing everything, then I kept going into it to see how nice it looks now that everything has a place and is organized.  I did not get any work done for my WFH job that day.

[Deleted]

I think you should quit your second job.

And I don't think you should feel guilty if you are not working every single moment. Your DH has a unique job and you don't have to have something "equal" to what he's doing. Also, I am certain that while his job is very hard and he works a lot, he also has some down time to relax, workout, hang out with buddies, whatever. It's not 24/7 hard work while you're deployed, right? I mean that with no disrespect, I certainly hope the men and women serving get a break! If not they should!

Also I consider being a parent a full time job, and your DH isn't currently available to do the brunt of the parenting. So you're already working extra far beyond your 30 hours in the office.

[aspentosh]

Jan 24, 2013 13:33:05 GMT -5 twodogsandababy said:

Jan 24, 2013 13:28:47 GMT -5 @totsintosa said:

With the follow up information, quit the second job. Don't feel guilty. Enjoy your cleaning and the extra time with your son.

It's just hard for me to fathom that some people like cleaning.

Ha, it's sick, I know.  It's my OCD.  There is just something satisfying in sweeping and mopping and cleaning and then seeing it all shiny and nice looking.  I may have spent Sunday cleaning my pantry tweeker-style scrubbing everything, then I kept going into it to see how nice it looks now that everything has a place and is organized.  I did not get any work done for my WFH job that day.

You and I are the same person (especially because I've got two dogs and a baby). I love cleaning, but with H's new work schedule it's A LOT to handle with the baby...

So with your follow up, I'd definitely quit the second job.

[cilantro]

I have a housekeeper. You still have to clean plenty if you're a neat freak, it's just not nearly quite as time sucking. It's not like you'll be totally missing out on this 'relaxing time' for you.

[twodogsandababy]

Thanks ladies, I think that I will probably end up quitting. I feel like I am half-assing it at everything right now, I need to refocus on what is more important to me right now. 

[mbcdefg]

I would quit the PT job. Your personal time is just as valuable (if not moreso) than money.

Nobody who's on their deathbed ever says, "Gee, I wish I had worked more."

[Deleted]

Lots of people on their death bed wished they had worked more. I hate that saying.

You have to decide what is more important - the money or giving up some control and getting a housekeeper.

[lys]

To me work/life balance is primary.  If the job interferes with my quality of life - it is the job that changes, not my home life.