What say you, MM? Mind my own business or not?

[cajunmom]

If you had a friend going through some marital issues and she told you that every day she drinks wine all day and gets drunk while at home with her 13 month old would you feel compelled to say something to her H? She is going to counseling with her pastor once a week about the marital issues but her H works full time and goes to night school so she's usually asleep by the time he gets home so he doesn't realize how much she is drinking. She's home with the baby full time and also their older son when he gets home from school.

I know the consensus on here is usually MYOB, but I'm scared something is going to happen to one of the kids.

[Deleted]

I would definitely say something b/c it is not just a family issue, but a public safety/welfare issue. I mean, what would happen if there was an emergency, and she had to pick her son up from school? If she is in an altered state, she might drive without thinking about it.

[Deleted]

I would. I would also highly recommend real counseling, not just with a pastor.

[genet313]

Can you try to talk to her first about it, if you haven't already?  

If you have and there's still no progress, I'd probably also say something.  Just b/c the thought of a 13-month old at home with a drunk mom upsets me.

[Velvetshady]

This isn't about MYoB, it's about protecting children.

[lys]

I would express my concerns about her drinking to her as well as her husband.

[Deleted]

This isn't OK. I would talk to her husband for sure.

[mbcdefg]

If you're able, I might show up during the day to visit, just to see if she's exaggerating.

If not, I'd tell the husband. Leave the marital issues out of it - just say that she mentioned something about drinking a lot while she's alone with the kids, and you're concerned.

[mgm]

I'd say something, especially since there's a young kid involved.

[cole]

Have you talked to her about it? If a friend was having marital issues, I think I would try to discuss with them before going to their husband, especially if they were already on shaky ground. But yes, in this situation I would certainly want to address it in some capacity.

[Deleted]

I'd definitely at the very least have a discussion with her about it. Beyond the obvious "you could harm your child" concerns, if someone finds out and reports her to CPS, she could lose the baby. If she and her husband get divorced, she could lose custody or have to have supervised visits or something.

If you talk to her and she doesn't respond, I think talking to the husband is okay as long as these are run-of-the-mill marital issues and they aren't on the verge of divorce (in which case you may be giving him fodder for the proceedings). If you're friendly with her parents or siblings, you may want to talk to them about it.

[Deleted]

I would start by saying something to HER and strongly pleading w/ her to get help for alcoholism.  I can't imagine caring for a 13 month old even hung over, let alone DRUNK.  I have 2 toddlers, fwiw.  If she refuses, then I would go to the husband.  But give her a chance to deal w/ it herself, first.  

[agnes]

Def say something. Don't MYOB.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2156891/Mom-kills-newborn-son-rolling-drunken-slumber.html

[bunch]

I agree with v.

[vanillacourage]

What was the context in which she told you this? Was she making light of the situation, or was it a tearful confession?

[steph96]

Do you think she might be reaching out for help? How is her son getting home? How is she making it to her counseling?

[heygrey]

i wouldn't mind my own business here. i'm not sure how i would handle it/who i would bring it up to, but i wouldn't not let this go. the children's well beings are at stake.