I've decided to go back to my maiden name.

[Deleted]

You'll always be MP to us

[Deleted]

What prompted the decision?  Remind me...how long since divorce?  Of course you can "keep" MP 

[bullygirl979]

Eh, I was always of the mindset that a name was just a name......until I bought my house. And then I was all "dammit, I want it in MY name!". Going back to my maiden name felt good. And FWIW, I kept my married name for 2 years after the divorce.

[Deleted]

I am keeping my married name, at least for now. But I didn't like my maiden. And I hope to remarry eventually.

[lizzie415]

Awesome! Not giving it it's own thread but good news - DD now is legally my last name hyphen!!! My dad asked if I am going to cheat and say just my last name unless it's something official/legal and I said yes and she can decide what she wants when she is older. Over the moon about that part of the week

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2013 21:21:02 GMT -5 mp said:

Jan 24, 2013 21:19:27 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

What prompted the decision?  Remind me...how long since divorce?  Of course you can "keep" MP 

Marriage ended a little over a year ago. Moved out in June. Filed in August. It will be final March 1.

I loved my maiden name. I have no ties to him. And right now I really don't like him - as mean as that may sound. I feel like with my promotion and such, it may be good timing to start fresh with a "new" name.

Good for you for a fresh start.  I also moved out in June (filed end of May) final in October.  Attempting to change my name ASAP and I can't wait!  I wasn't married vey long though-since 8/20/11.  I cringe every day when I sign my married name .

[Deleted]

Jan 24, 2013 21:43:31 GMT -5 lizzie415 said:

Awesome! Not giving it it's own thread but good news - DD now is legally my last name hyphen!!! My dad asked if I am going to cheat and say just my last name unless it's something official/legal and I said yes and she can decide what she wants when she is older. Over the moon about that part of the week

:Y: :Y: :Y:

[Deleted]

You can keep MP! My best friend used to go by her last name as a nickname. I still call her that even though she took her husband's name.

[oliver]

Jan 24, 2013 21:21:02 GMT -5 mp said:

Jan 24, 2013 21:19:27 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

What prompted the decision?  Remind me...how long since divorce?  Of course you can "keep" MP 

Marriage ended a little over a year ago. Moved out in June. Filed in August. It will be final March 1.

I loved my maiden name. I have no ties to him. And right now I really don't like him - as mean as that may sound. I feel like with my promotion and such, it may be good timing to start fresh with a "new" name.

Makes sense to me.

The reasons for taking your husbands name is one of unity - you're one family.

Since that union is now ended, re-assuming your maiden name helps assert your independence and self-identity.

Go for it.

[CheshireGrin]

It never even occured to me to keep my XH's name when we split. But then, our parting was not exactly amicable, and I like my maiden name.

I swore when I changed back that I would never change my name again. I like my name and identify with it. Now that marriage is potentially in my future again, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think I would be more likely to keep my name than to change to BF's, but I'm not discounting the possibility at this point.

Sideline: I have a friend who, when she divorced her second husband, returned not to her maiden name but to the name of her first husband. Her reasoning was that she wanted to have the same last name as her kids (who both use their father's name). That makes sense to me, but I admit I also always found it just a little bit odd, considering it had been more than 15 years at that point since they had divorced, and she was going BACK to his name.

But in the end, it's what she wanted and she had her reasons. And that's what was important.

[GilliC]

I wasn't sure I wanted to change back to my maiden name.  My aunt got divorced before I was born, and she's always had her married name, because she's still on friendly terms with her ex.  So the idea of keeping my married name seemed just as normal as going back.  Add to that the fact that XH's name is shorter and easier to spell.  And the paperwork of changing is a huge headache.

In the end, the biggest reason I decided to change back is that XH has a very ethnic surname, and I got tired of the conversation:
- Where is that from?
- India?
- Oh, is your father Indian?
- No, my ex-husband is.
- ...awkward silence...
It never bothered me, but it makes people uncomfortable.  Especially since we work for the same company, and people are still trying to figure out if/how we're related!

The other reason is that my maiden initials spell my name.  I think it's cool, and was disappointed to give that up when I changed the first time.

Now that I'm actually in the process of going back, it actually feels good to see "my" name on things.  Yes, my married name was also "my" name (especially since I was probably the only one in the world), but now when I look at it, I see his name there.  When I see my maiden name on things, it reinforces in my head that a new stage of my life is starting and that I'm moving on.  It's a good feeling.  It almost makes my visa hassle worth it!  Haha!

Jan 25, 2013 2:37:21 GMT -5 CheshireGrin said:

Sideline: I have a friend who, when she divorced her second husband, returned not to her maiden name but to the name of her first husband. Her reasoning was that she wanted to have the same last name as her kids (who both use their father's name). That makes sense to me, but I admit I also always found it just a little bit odd, considering it had been more than 15 years at that point since they had divorced, and she was going BACK to his name.

The mother of my high school boyfriend was married three times, and each time she changed her name.  After her second divorce, she kept her second husband's name, and after her third divorce, she went back to her second husband's name.  I think she'd just had it the longest of anything, so that's what she identified with.  It was still a little weird.  (Especially since her son had the first husband's name!)

[riverpestie]

As you know I changed my name back, but X and I separated after 16 months of marriage, soooooo... LOL!

[Deleted]

Sounds like a good idea mp!

[usedtobebear]

Thank you for posting this, I've enjoyed reading what others have done, especially Bully saying she waited 2 years after her divorce.  Originally, I was for sure going to change my name back to my maiden name, but now I'm on the fence.  Like you, this has been my new name for over 10 years, so it just seems so strange to change it back.  I can't decide!