I worry about this. I feel like I don't want to hover and to let him explore on his own but other times I feel bad about doing that. I do think that the times that he is ultra independent are evened out by the times that he is very clingy, ya know? Like maybe these are just phases and I should go with the flow.
We have this issue too. I leave her to her own devices a lot. But, if she comes over to us, I always interact. I also will talk to her while she's playing (what are you doing? Who are you calling? etc) At least once a day, each of us will spend some good time on the floor with her, and we also end up bringing her up in our laps for a while at some point. She plays alone, but she also wants to interact with us, so I feel like she gets a good mixture.
I was really worried about this for awhile because Emerson was so happy playing by herself. She's in a clingy stage so I don't worry about it as much anymore. If she's happy playing with me in the room or close by I think that's great and I let her be. I usually play with her a lot in the morning because that's when she wants me the most. I just sit next to her and play and tell her what I'm doing. Like with her zany zoo I show her how to spin the blocks. She loves to have me stack things for her so she can knock them down.
I let her lead if that makes sense. She plays nicely on her own, but will let me know if she wants company. Sometimes just me on the floor is all she wants, sometimes she wants me to play, sometimes she wants a human jungle gym. But mostly she's in her toy corner playing!
Post by erniebufflo on Jan 26, 2013 9:58:59 GMT -5
I honestly don't play with them a lot. I hang out in the room with them, and they play by each other and take toys from each other. I talk to them and say stuff like, "Oh, you have an orange block!" But mostly I am not playing. I help Claire sit up, hand her things, and stop any hair pulling or eye gouging.
Post by erniebufflo on Jan 26, 2013 10:00:52 GMT -5
Also: I tend to prefer kid-directed learning and exploration, so I am fine with it. We interact and talk plenty. They don't need me to literally be building block piles.
Post by imimahoney on Jan 26, 2013 10:01:24 GMT -5
I let him play alone as long as he is happy. Once he gets fussy then I engage. We are trying to encourage him to crawl and pull up so my engaging him is more getting him on his belly and giving him more opportunities to stand rather than just sitting with toys in front of him.
I let him play by himself as long as he's happy, which is most of the time. He usually starts to get crabby as we get close to bed time, so I try to sit with him then. We'll usually read a book, then we put the toys away. I try to name all the shapes and colors with him as we put them away. He gets lots of interaction at meals and baths so I think it balances out.
In the playroom she explores on her own but we sit on the floor with her and play if she comes by us or we will roll a ball back and forth with her. We do engage in dialogue with her a lot and she will make noises back.
Emerson Kate, born 38w5d on 4/6/12 at 6:02 p.m., 5 lbs 13 oz and 18 3/4 inches. Lucas Matthew, born 39w5d on 4/11/14 at 8:20 a.m., 7 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches.
Well, I am normally trying to work and take care if him. I try to make sure we have two good interactive sessions per awake period. So, we read books, roll a ball around, wrestle. That normally lasts about 10 or so minutes before he goes off on his own.
Also: I tend to prefer kid-directed learning and exploration, so I am fine with it. We interact and talk plenty. They don't need me to literally be building block piles.
My thoughts exactly. If she's happy playing on her play mat while I write or read or dust, then hallelujah. I definitely interact with her, especially since she will initiate peek-a-boo with literally any object she's holding at any time or just her hands. When she babbles, I talk to her about the toy she's playing with. She's been playing like this for a couple of months, and even now that she's crawling, she's pretty content just to sit and play, sometimes for an hour at a time. I almost always have music playing and will frequently make up words to the songs about what she's doing.
Like others, I figure it's balanced out by the times when she's super clingy, and also by the fact that she still (for the most part) nurses for several minutes at each session.
Maybe this is why I seem to think parenting is harder than other people! My baby is so freakin' clingy and needy. She does not play well independently. How do you teach this skill?? Will it get better when she can crawl?
On the weekdays, I'm on the floor engaging with her pretty much from when I get home to bed. I miss her a lot during the work week and enjoy the play time. On the weekends....I spend a lot of time next to her on the floor, playing intermittently. She prefers someone at least in the same room or on the floor with her. I probably should encourage more independent play, my house is a disaster all the time, but I'm doing what works for me and right now that is playing with her a lot.
I let her lead if that makes sense. She plays nicely on her own, but will let me know if she wants company. Sometimes just me on the floor is all she wants, sometimes she wants me to play, sometimes she wants a human jungle gym. But mostly she's in her toy corner playing!
This is how we are. She is finally starting to play independently and wants to interact with her brothers more. There are also days that she wants nothing but me. I figure if she needs me, she'll let me know.
Lincoln is just recently playing by himself, so I let him do his own thing. When he wants me to play with him, he brings me a toy. I do sit on the floor with him still but not as often that way he will learn to play independently.
Post by mamasaurus on Jan 26, 2013 11:19:56 GMT -5
Babysaurus is very go, go, go! I have to scoop her up to stop her from getting something she shouldn't have pretty often. It doesn't help that H is being a little dumb about babyproofing and still leaves his laptop plugged in on the floor or leaves screws on a low shelf where she can get them.
I use those times as opportunities for a quick game of peek-a-boo or give her a new toy and play with it with her as part of the redirection. I don't feel like I am always saying, "Not a toy," or "Not for babies!" to her this way. She wants to get all over the house, though, so she doesn't have the patience for me to play with her much longer than a couple minutes. Most of her play is independent.
I do try, once or twice a day, to play with her with no distractions. I turn off my laptop, put her other toys away, and just read to her, or I build her some things with blocks for her to knock over and smash, or we play hand clap games. Most of the time it doesn't last very long because she sees something else she wants to do, but she definitely enjoys the play.
Maybe this is why I seem to think parenting is harder than other people! My baby is so freakin' clingy and needy. She does not play well independently. How do you teach this skill?? Will it get better when she can crawl?
I'm not really sure if its a skill we taught him or if its just something he is doing on his own. I can say that even when he was as little as 3 months he was "playing" by himself with his toys with me next to him talking or reading or singing but who's to say if that had any impact on him now ya know? It will probably get better when she can crawl because there will just be so much to explore and get into. And Liam juuuust went through a clingy phase so maybe she is having one of those as well?
When he wasn't so mobile there was more independent play,but now we are always on the floor with him to keep him from terrorizing the dog. He is also pulling himself up on things and trying to cruise, so he falls a lot and we try to make sure he doesn't hit his head too much. He isn't very vocal,so we talk to him a lot to work on language skills.
Post by creamsiclechica on Jan 26, 2013 11:38:29 GMT -5
We do a mix of both. I let her play independently a lot, so she can explore and discover things with her hands. I talk to her a lot, sing lots of songs, so that she knows I am there. I also get down and play with her and read stories to her so we have interactive play. I like for her to know how to be by herself, figure out her surroundings, but I like doing things with her too. I think what Cat put is perfect. She tends to give me some cues to come down and play, or leave her well enough alone.
Maybe this is why I seem to think parenting is harder than other people! My baby is so freakin' clingy and needy. She does not play well independently. How do you teach this skill?? Will it get better when she can crawl?
Once Evan started crawling, the clinging definitely decreased. Now I just follow him to whatever room he wants to play in and do chores, iphone, etc while he plays. He interacts with me as it gets close to nap/bedtime.
I don't have a specific schedule.. I realize the same thing sometimes, that I haven't played with her in a little while. Usually in the evenings she's too fussy to play alone so I always play with her then. The morning she's great on her own and I'm tired so she usually plays alone then. During the day it just depends on if I have stuff I want to do or I just mix it up- play a little, probard a little...
I try to let her play on her own as long as she is happy and that's what she wants. Especially now that she is starting to pull herself along the floor. I'll just her on her belly and just let her pull herself to her canvas bins with the toys and yank them all out and explore. I figure those are the abilities she needs to work on right now.
We're going through a phase where he needs be down by him on the floor. He'll be ok by himself for about 5 minutes, then I need to be down by him. And I play. I'm just so used to it, since it was my job to be interacting and 'playing' and teaching babies his age. I can't just sit there and not be doing something with him. Even when he is good, I find myself just going down and playing cars or blocks with him. DH has commented that I need to let him learn to play by himself, too. I need to work on that!
We do a mix of both. I let her play independently a lot, so she can explore and discover things with her hands. I talk to her a lot, sing lots of songs, so that she knows I am there. I also get down and play with her and read stories to her so we have interactive play. I like for her to know how to be by herself, figure out her surroundings, but I like doing things with her too. I think what Cat put is perfect. She tends to give me some cues to come down and play, or leave her well enough alone.
It's a lot like this. She will do stuff with her toys and look at me and squeal or smile when she plays alone. I usually just give her praise and she goes back to playing. She comes to me when she wants to play with me or be held.
I think I hover. Idk. I worry about her falling bc she will try to let go while standing up or try to take a step.
She also will go straight for the dogs' water bowl or under the dining room table if I don't sit with her.
If the pugs play with her then I can get away with not hovering. She will try to throw the ball to cheddar. Or shell hold it and chedds will try to take it from her hand and she loves it.
Other than that.... I wish she could play more independently and that I didn't worry so much.
I let her play and explore on her own the majority of the time. I'm always in the room with her and will get down on the floor with her wether she likes it or not, but she is happy to do her own thing without me getting in her way. She's definitely very independent. But like PPs, I always am sure to make comments on what she's doing since she's becoming so verbal.