Turning down gifts?

[steph96]

My mom offered to give me the Sea-doo she owns. It is a 1997 and the protective cover deteriorated from the sun. Because of this, the seat is ripped and the running board things your feet go on are all warped. The last time we took it out (sometime in 2006), it wouldn't start. There is also some other mechanical issue where the instrument cluster doesn't work (not a necessary fix for it to function, but my mom thinks it needs to be fixed). It has literally sat there untouched since it was winterized after the last time we took it out, so there is no telling if anything else has gone wrong. You can't just let something sit there for 7 years and expect it to be fine.

She offered to help pay for some of the costs of repairing it. I tried looking up some of the parts online, but they are obsolete. If we can even get the parts to fix it, it will cost over $800. My mom didn't say how much she was willing to spend to help fix it. I don't want to spend any money on something we don't have time to use. The closest lake is 1.5+ hours away.

I tried telling my mom that I don't want it. When I told her that the parts are obsolete, she told me that her friend has someone that works on them and can get parts (she hasn't told the guy anything about the Sea-doo, plus it is a less common sports package that made parts harder to get even back when it was newer). I told her that we don't have anywhere to store it at our house and didn't want to buy storage space. She said we could store it at her house. No matter what I say, she has some magical solution.

How can I get her to stop trying to pawn off all of her crap on me? I get that she is trying to be nice, but I don't want it and she won't take no for an answer.

[Heisenberg]

Ugh. Since you've exhausted all the nice "no thank you's" I'd pull out a mean "NO MEANS NO" and not discuss it further. I hate when people try to pawn off their crap on you. Especially your parents.

[SusanBAnthony]

I would tell her some thing like: mom, we don't want to spend any money on it, and we ant store it anywhere, so if you want to pay for it all and keep it at your House that is fine. But hie story I doubt we will use it at much.

Then let her do what she wants.

[steph96]

Would it be crappy if I offered to sell it and keep the money for her?

[Doggy Mommy]

I guess just say the word "no" over and over until she gets it? Some people are very sentimental about broken old stuff and want to keep it in the family.

[CloudBee]

My mom is like this, but she lives out of state and randomly brings large bulky items with her when she visits, and leaves them with me. Sometimes she sneaks them into the house and hides them in a closet without telling me.

The last time she left something without asking, it was a huge pile of old towels and sheets that were my great-grandmother's. I opened up the guest room closet a week or two after my parents had left and found them.

I called her on the phone to confront her about it. She said "you have a dog, you always need more sheets and towels for him!" Uh, no. As I have been through this with her time and again, I told her that the next time she randomly leaves something at my house without asking first, the next time we drive up to visit the item(s) will be returned.

It's not fun to inherit someone else's junk just because they have a difficult time parting with it.

I think you need to have a similar conversation with your mom.  It sounds like she has a tough time getting rid of things that used to be of value - both monetarily and sentimentally.

[steph96]

The only reason she is being so weird is because my brother is getting the boat. She wants to keep things semi-fair.

It doesn't help that FI is all "hell yeah we can go to the lake!! And take our friends!!". Idk what friends he is talking about. They don't even answer his calls anymore.

[kathybela]

Stop giving excuses/reasons and just say no thank you ... lather, rinse, repeat

[livinitup]

We turned down a brand new See-Do because ILs bought 2 and gave one to his brother and one DH. We wanted NOTHING to do with it. NOTHING. It's fine to take for a brief ride when we are on the lake but it was Not Our Style for towing, storing, keeping gassed and repairing. BIL was delighted. Not us.

They were super pissed that we declined. What with the "even steve" mentality and all. But the LAST thing we wanted was to deal with it and spend money on it and pay insurance for it. Seriously.

But once we were clear *without excuses* they got over it.

[livinitup]

Jan 26, 2013 20:15:04 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

when my MIL's boyfriend moved in, he had a houseful of crap from all his travels all over the world. They brought it over to our house one day in a UHAUL. Boxes and boxes of crap, along with a bunch of stuff MIL didn't want anymore of hers.

We had a garage sale a month later, sold most of it, pitched the rest. they were FURIOUS. Never take stuff you don't want.

Oh My G*d!

Please tell us the long version on how furious she was. Pleeeeeeze! And how in the world did you get your husband to agree to the garage sale??

[ECB]

Jan 26, 2013 20:22:22 GMT -5 livinitup said:

Jan 26, 2013 20:15:04 GMT -5 @cse1960 said:

when my MIL's boyfriend moved in, he had a houseful of crap from all his travels all over the world. They brought it over to our house one day in a UHAUL. Boxes and boxes of crap, along with a bunch of stuff MIL didn't want anymore of hers.

We had a garage sale a month later, sold most of it, pitched the rest. they were FURIOUS. Never take stuff you don't want.

Oh My G*d!

Please tell us the long version on how furious she was. Pleeeeeeze! And how in the world did you get your husband to agree to the garage sale??

Me too!!

[steph96]

@cse1960 OMG! How did it work when she was dropping everything off? Did you know they were coming to drop things off? What did you say when they started unloading all the crap?

Luckily I know my mom wouldn't ever try to drop it off or anything! The worst she could do is question me about when I'm going to go with her to change the title and tag it.

[dexteroni]

Ditto the others re: stop indulging her in conversation about it. The more you address her suggestions, the more she thinks she can talk you into it. "MOM. I SAID I DON'T WANT IT. PLEASE STOP BRINGING IT UP. Thank you."