Where in Michigan is this "cabin"? In my town we have a LOT of lake homes that are of various sizes/values ($50k - $1m that I know of personally) owned by residents of Illinois and they call them "cabins" or "cottages". $1m home =/= cottage in my book. And these homes are by no means secluded.
I would get an address, Google Earth the place, stay in a hotel, background check the guy, and make sure somebody at home knows where you're headed and who you're meeting.
Where in MI? When someone says "cottage" I think Up North. Up North is much more than 4 hours from Chicago.
I don't think you need to cancel but I think your meeting should be public and you should stay at a hotel.
If this guy is as nice as you say, he wouldn't have a problem with that.
How would you feel if your best friend was doing what you want to do? You'd probably think she needed to be a little more smart about it, right? I think that's what everyone else here is saying too.
Where in Michigan is this "cabin"? In my town we have a LOT of lake homes that are of various sizes/values ($50k - $1m that I know of personally) owned by residents of Illinois and they call them "cabins" or "cottages". $1m home =/= cottage in my book. And these homes are by no means secluded.
I would get an address, Google Earth the place, stay in a hotel, background check the guy, and make sure somebody at home knows where you're headed and who you're meeting.
Absolutely this and then still get a hotel room, you could always check out after the first or second night
Look, if this dude was really interested in you, he would have flown to Toronto to meet you ages ago.
He just wants to bang, and he's probably not a great guy. If you're ok with that, have fun.
But, as someone who met her H on Creepy Craigslist, I think this sounds like a stupid fucking idea.
yes. i do not believe that a guy that is really interested in you and cares about you would have you ride on a bus for 12 hours to meet up with him. he would come to you. and stay in a hotel.
when i hear "cottage" i think, "hmmm, perfect secluded place to murder me and hide my body."
Creepy, but he's probably just a normal guy who's just looking for a relationship or a hook up. But on the off chance he isn't then your completely reliant on him once you show up, I mean you won't even have a car to leave if you wanted to!
If you want to meet in person, get a hotel room, go out to dinner, maybe see a movie.
Where in MI? When someone says "cottage" I think Up North. Up North is much more than 4 hours from Chicago.
I don't think you need to cancel but I think your meeting should be public and you should stay at a hotel.
If this guy is as nice as you say, he wouldn't have a problem with that.
How would you feel if your best friend was doing what you want to do? You'd probably think she needed to be a little more smart about it, right? I think that's what everyone else here is saying too.
Just be a little more smart about this.
I'm just a lurker but am originally from Michigan and I 100% agree on the cottage/Up North/much more than 4 hours from Chicago thing. Unless he has property on the lowest portion of Lake Mi shoreline. Grand Haven MAYBE.
Dude, just be safe. I hope at a minimum you rethink this and tweak the plan. Stay in a hotel and plan public dates.
What is the difference between a cottage and a house? This whole cottage thing is throwing me off... Seems like the kind of place that would be cute on the outside, but have a torture well in the basement... You know, sort of "it puts the lotion on its skin..."
I second a hotel.
This is where my mind goes too, but I have seen way too many Law and Orders/Criminal Minds. Torture chamber basement.
If you are really going to go, ask him about hotels in the area. If it is a popular lake area, there should be several. Although I also have to say, if he hasn't come to see you by this point, he's just not that into you.
Meeting him is one thing- and clearly one of you is going to have to go to the other to make it happen. That in and of itself isn't a big deal. And taking a bus? So what? if it works for you.
But going to a "cottage" (which sounds somewhat remote) for 4 days w/ no one else there....
You just don't know these days. You don't know if you're the only person he's talking to, or if he has a trove of woman and every other month he's got a new one coming up for a "4 day weekend" with him.
Meet him - but do it in a populated place and where it doesn't require you to stay with him.
yes. i do not believe that a guy that is really interested in you and cares about you would have you ride on a bus for 12 hours to meet up with him. he would come to you. and stay in a hotel.
Yeah- I didn't realize he was an attorney and in LA no less. Doesn't necessarily mean he's rich, but seriously - I side eye that he can't afford to fly to you and instead is having you ride a bus for 12 hours.
I don't think visiting him is a bad thing but staying 4 nights at his cottage? Yeah. It is a very very bad idea. Do you know where the cottage is located exactly? If it's in a remote location, can you "escape"? I think the best thing would have been for this dude to come to your city and stay at a hotel.
This seriously sounds like the beginning of a stupid teenage slasher movie.
You mean awesome teenage slasher movie.
This sounds sketchy as fuck. Call me traditional, but if a guy from the internet wants to meet up and bone, he has to do it on the lady's turf. It's called fucking manners.
Cottages aren't real things. They're tiny houses that MM rich renamed to justify paying a ridiculous amount per sq ft because it's "quaint". It's a house. A house for midgets. Also, heterosexual men who don't eat flesh don't own cottages.
Remember everyone thought Jeffrey Dahmer looked/seemed normal.
Just saying that there is too much ick going on to make this a sound decision. And he should be making the grand gesture to visit, not you, and he should have done it awhile ago.
This seems less dangerous than going to a cabin with a guy she met IRL a few weeks ago. I don't see why the online thing makes it SO much worse. Especially since they've skyped everyday for two years, and she can confirm on FB that he's a real person.
Honestly, I would probably do it. I mean, I've had one night stands before I was married, and one of us would go to the other persons place and spend the night... I didn't know if those people were safe, any more than you know if this guy is safe. But don't base your decision on me,
This is not a good idea. Let me break it down a little further.
Meeting in person, spending the day together, getting busy (with a condom) in your hotel room after spending a fantastic afternoon together
Taking a bus 12 hours to stay in a cottage with someone you have never met in person
Qft. Honestly statistically it's pretty unlikely that you'll actually spent the rest of your short life in a pit in his basement waiitng to be eaten, but if that's his aim you're making it really easy for him.
Honestly, I would probably do it. I mean, I've had one night stands before I was married, and one of us would go to the other persons place and spend the night... I didn't know if those people were safe, any more than you know if this guy is safe. But don't base your decision on me,
Yes, I did dumb shit like that. When I was like, 22.
You learn a lot as you grow up, like how stupid the things you did at 22 were.
Honestly, I would probably do it. I mean, I've had one night stands before I was married, and one of us would go to the other persons place and spend the night... I didn't know if those people were safe, any more than you know if this guy is safe. But don't base your decision on me,
Yes but how dependant were you on the guy? Because she will be almost 100%. She will have no means of transportation, especially if his cottage is in a secluded area. She will be totally unfamiliar with the area.