LOL @ people seeking reasoning behind taking the bus. I'm there too...how miserable. I would be in no mood to get my swerve on after riding in a smelly bus for 12 hours. And what about the possible blood clots!
Anyway, yeah...you should cancel. Neutral places for meeting the first time, with support.
This is totally that "he's not that into you" thing. andplusso, you're gonna look nasty and smell after a 12 hour bus ride. So at the very least, get a hotel to freshen up.
Post by melindafelinda on Jun 1, 2012 8:44:07 GMT -5
I think the people who quoted her after she asked not to be quoted are assholes. She didn't threaten to delete after being flamed. And one of them is our Mod? That's lame.
I think the people who quoted her after she asked not to be quoted are assholes. She didn't threaten to delete after being flamed. And one of them is our Mod? That's lame.
seconded.
also, if i were a writer of lifetime movies, i'd totally troll the boards looking for stories like these as inspiration.
Honestly, I would probably do it. I mean, I've had one night stands before I was married, and one of us would go to the other persons place and spend the night... I didn't know if those people were safe, any more than you know if this guy is safe. But don't base your decision on me,
Yes, but when I did this, I had my own car so I could escape. I don't think her bus is going to wait outside the cabin to make sure she is okay.
1) You have never met this guy in person 2)Yet you have been talking for 2 years and he is supposed to be a lawyer, yet homeboy could never visit? 3)You are going by bus and have no vehicle to escape if he asks you to join him in the basement for Chianti. 4)You are going to a cottage where there will be no other people to hear you scream.
What part of this screams "awesome enough idea to take a bus for 12 hours"?
Edit: Not cabin-cottage. Who the fuck has a cottage?
Edit: Not cabin-cottage. Who the fuck has a cottage?
Canadians.
Point One - I do. In Michigan. Because my in-laws used to live in Chicago. It's not hella up north (about 1.5 hours from the city) and there are a ton of Chicago people around us, FWIW.
Also it is seven stories up a freaking sanddune and there is the last place on earth that there is no cell phone coverage, so there is that to think about.
It's secluded in the winter, because it's about 85 percent summer homes, but at this time of year if I were being attacked by a nutjob all I would have to do is run outside and scream. People are really rich and really nervous there (I get the sideeye just because I haven't been going there every summer since the age of 2 like my H).
Point Two I'm less worried about the cottage - because, let's get real, you can be raped or killed pretty much anywhere - than that she's nervous about it at the last minute.
OP, I second the idea of a background check. You don't need his social security number. You know the county where he lives now, where his summer home is and probably where he grew up. Do a criminal background/court records search. In IL and CA, those records are most likely online. MI is 50/50 but still, I'd check. Run his name through the national sex offenders database. Be explicit with a friend about where you are going, what his name is, and have them call to reach you.
Even people with no criminal backgrounds do bad things, but it's worth checking if this is something you are determined to do.
What's the big deal about her dying her hair? Did I miss a previous post about that?
Also, I hope you come back and update us and that you're safe. I agree with the PP's who suggested getting a hotel room. I wouldn't necessarily turn around but i would insist on staying elsewhere.
I think the people who quoted her after she asked not to be quoted are assholes. She didn't threaten to delete after being flamed. And one of them is our Mod? That's lame.
The first time that you meet someone from the internet, and they live that far away, I'd advise that he comes to you and stays in a hotel. You meet in public, at a restaurant. Take a few days to get to know each other.
Meeting a man at a cottage for the first time sounds risky.
Point One - I do. In Michigan. Because my in-laws used to live in Chicago. It's not hella up north (about 1.5 hours from the city) and there are a ton of Chicago people around us, FWIW.
Also it is seven stories up a freaking sanddune and there is the last place on earth that there is no cell phone coverage, so there is that to think about.
It's secluded in the winter, because it's about 85 percent summer homes, but at this time of year if I were being attacked by a nutjob all I would have to do is run outside and scream. People are really rich and really nervous there (I get the sideeye just because I haven't been going there every summer since the age of 2 like my H).
Point Two I'm less worried about the cottage - because, let's get real, you can be raped or killed pretty much anywhere - than that she's nervous about it at the last minute.
OP, I second the idea of a background check. You don't need his social security number. You know the county where he lives now, where his summer home is and probably where he grew up. Do a criminal background/court records search. In IL and CA, those records are most likely online. MI is 50/50 but still, I'd check. Run his name through the national sex offenders database. Be explicit with a friend about where you are going, what his name is, and have them call to reach you.
Even people with no criminal backgrounds do bad things, but it's worth checking if this is something you are determined to do.
I know the area you're talking about. It's a nice area and I am jeaaalous (MI native here). I guess Mario Batali has a cottage around there, somewhere on the big lake.
The first time that you meet someone from the internet, and they live that far away, I'd advise that he comes to you and stays in a hotel. You meet in public, at a restaurant. Take a few days to get to know each other.
Meeting a man at a cottage for the first time sounds risky.
I've been known to be pretty inmpulsive and think with my heart and not my head from time to time (ok, a LOT of the time)... I totally agree with this. He'll have no problem with this if he genuinely cares for you. GL!
I obviously didn't read all the replies. I'll just say this.
There was a guy in Montreal who went to another guy's appartment to have sex. AND THEN THE GUY CUT HIS HEAD OFF AND DISMEMBERED HIM AND SENT HIS FOOT AND HAND TO OTTAWA AND POSTED A VIDEO OF THE WHOLE THING ONLINE.
Post by sawyerthedestroyer on Jun 1, 2012 9:55:11 GMT -5
Oh andplusalso, you're not even going to visit where he lives and works. He could have a totally different life in LA and you would be totally unaware. This cottage could be a great little place to hide you and not risk running into anyone that knows he's married with kids or some shit.
Welp, my sister did this, and they are married with a kid now, so I guess it worked, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hellaciously worried for a long time about this trip.
Yes cancel! Your first meeting should not be in some secluded cabin, but in a public place with plenty of people around. How do you know he isn't some crazed murderer?
Right now I am picturing her walking up to the cottage and when she walks in there is a sign that says Please Put This On. It's an erotic litte red riding hood outfit, of course. He was just kidding about the whole new pressure for sex thing.
Then she ends up in the oven. I'm not sure which fairytale that is but that is where the story is heading.