Throughout the wedding planning I've stuck to the "vision" which made booking vendors and setting a budget super easy. Stylish afternoon garden party, cocktails and heavy hors d'oeuvres, lawn games, fascinators and bow ties encouraged, etc. etc.
Now I'm doubting it all. Or, well, most of it. It's all because of the wedding shows that I watch and wedding blogs that I read. Should we be providing a sit-down dinner? What if we run out of food, or, worse, alcohol? What if no one has fun? I'm driving myself insane.
Please talk some sense into me. Or, hell, tell me my fears are well-founded. Right now I feel stuck between plowing forward and heavily revising.
Well, i think it sounds wonderful. A nice change from the usual sit down dinner. I would love to attend a wedding that was different. It sounds lovely Bowies.....really. dont get yourself crazy by 2nd guessing yourself.
Post by fussbucket on Jan 29, 2013 21:37:24 GMT -5
I think the idea has merit. Is it FI's vision too? If so, I'd hang on to it for the both of you for sure.
I guess if you're not feeding people a sit-down meal, you will still need to accommodate their need to eat that meal one way or another. So, like, people will be all dressed up and maybe a bit buzzed and hitting the road by no later than 4 or 5pm because they'll want to get home/go out to eat? Or will you let them stay on through the dinner hour after you've run out of appetizers and they're totally wasted and there is a growing collection of fascinators and slingbacks in the water feature? You know your family and friends best! LOL
If you're worried about not having enough food or a real "meal" with your dining option, provide guests with a list of nearby restaurants you love for after the reception. Maybe an easy printout of an area map? Either way, heavy apps should work well, especially since it's in the afternoon.
We've both tried the food and found it very filling, and with just one of each thing. I'm thinking of bumping up the portion size on the chicken and adding desserts with the cake. Is that enough? I'm thinking things will wind down between 7 and 8. Even with the chicken at its current size, portions are more like tapas/small plates.
As far as drinking, he's got family members that can put it away, but they're balanced by a few non-drinkers. Everyone else is average.
I'm just so worried that this is all lame and everyone's going to be wondering where the hotel ballroom and up lighting are. I've had that wedding, I don't want it again.
Post by fussbucket on Jan 29, 2013 22:43:57 GMT -5
I don't think anyone will be wondering that, bowies! And if they are, that's their problem, seriously. They suck as wedding guests.
I've been to all kinds of fun weddings, and hotel ballroom ones seldom rank high on the interesting/fun-o-meter, whereas all the backyard/garden ones I've attended (tastefully done, of course) have been delightful.
Stay the course! Your wedding sounds adorable, and fun. There's always something to worry about. I'm sure your guests will have a great time and will remember how unique and fun the whole thing was.
We've both tried the food and found it very filling, and with just one of each thing. I'm thinking of bumping up the portion size on the chicken and adding desserts with the cake. Is that enough? I'm thinking things will wind down between 7 and 8. Even with the chicken at its current size, portions are more like tapas/small plates.
As far as drinking, he's got family members that can put it away, but they're balanced by a few non-drinkers. Everyone else is average.
I'm just so worried that this is all lame and everyone's going to be wondering where the hotel ballroom and up lighting are. I've had that wedding, I don't want it again.
Is there a limit on plates? I mean if i want 6 plates can i have it? or is there a set number per person?
Do not stress yourself out. Your wedding sounds like a lot of fun. As long as you consider that people will be making a meal out of the apps then you're fine.
Please don't do another hotel ballroom wedding because that's what you think everyone expects. Do your thing.
I don't think anyone will be wondering that, bowies! And if they are, that's their problem, seriously. They suck as wedding guests.
I've been to all kinds of fun weddings, and hotel ballroom ones seldom rank high on the interesting/fun-o-meter, whereas all the backyard/garden ones I've attended (tastefully done, of course) have been delightful.
I agree. Actually, I found that people find it a bit refreshing when you do something different than the norm.
I don't think anyone will be wondering that, bowies! And if they are, that's their problem, seriously. They suck as wedding guests.
I've been to all kinds of fun weddings, and hotel ballroom ones seldom rank high on the interesting/fun-o-meter, whereas all the backyard/garden ones I've attended (tastefully done, of course) have been delightful.
I agree. Actually, I found that people find it a bit refreshing when you do something different than the norm.
I agree too. One piece of advice, though - whatever your music plan is, HAVE ONE! Have music playing. Even if you don't specifically plan on there being dancing. Have nice background music playing. It helps set the tone and it gives a backdrop to people talking.
Bowies, your wedding plan sounds exactly like my wedding! Our theme was afternoon garden party, we did heavy apps, reception started around 2-2:30 and people stuck around until about 7-ish?
It was really, really wonderful, and no one complained that there wasn't a sit-down meal. In fact it made it much easier for people to mingle. We did do a couple things to make the apps more substantial--we had a sushi station with dudes making rolls for people, in addition to the other various garden party foods. Most of our friends did go out after the wedding, but I think most people didn't feel hungry or anything since there was lots of foods. We also had really huge cupcakes, and more than one per person, so people were definitely dessert-stuffed.
So stop second-guessing yourself! I'm sure it will be fabulous.
bowies... stick with what you have. It sounds unique and perfect for you. There isn't some perfect formula for a wedding. And you can EASILY have a full sit down meal wedding that still comes across as trashy. I love your vision and you NEED to stick to it. If you succumb to the pressure the wedding industry puts on everyone when it comes to what you "need" to do... you're going to regret it. The only things you need to do are feed your guests, give them something to drink, give them a nice place to be for a few hours and STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF!
I would like to be invited to this, because your vision is exactly my cup of tea, and it's what I've contemplated having if I ever get married again. Don't second guess yourself! I think it sounds fabulous.
OK thanks y'all. Four Weddings is an evil, evil show. There was an episode where one of the brides had a wedding very similar to what I'm planning and the other 3 brides turned their noses up at not having a sit-down dinner. I need to stop watching it.
I've talked to the caterers about having plenty of food, and I trust that they are the experts when it comes to how much to prepare. The cocktail hour will have passed apps, but the stations will have more substantial portions of things. I'm creating a "thing" in my mind where no "thing" probably exists. This wedding feels much more personal, so if someone says they don't like it, it will hurt my feelers.
As for music, we have a DJ for the cocktail hour/reception. I don't care if it's early evening, my ass is going to dance.
I think your wedding sounds like it will be beautiful and fun. I like that it is different. It's your wedding do what reflects you and your FI. I was at a wedding last winter that did a similar thing. It was great. I left full and had a great time.
Also after you start making these bigger plans quit watching those shows and reading magazines. All it does is make you second/third guess your own plans.
When it comes down to it. You're responsible for how the guests feel. If you and your groom are having a blast your guests will too, the booze also helps.
I'm actually really glad Four Weddings wasn't around when I got married, because that show made me feel reverse-embarrassed that our wedding wasn't fancy! But the people on that show are always such snobs and dicks, so you really don't care if you impress them.
What I loved about our wedding was that it felt intimate and fun. We don't take ourselves very seriously, and something overly formal or structured just wouldn't have been us. So plan the hell out of your awesome wedding, Bowies! It really sounds lovely.
Post by starrieskies on Jan 30, 2013 11:20:16 GMT -5
bowies, I love your vision! I love the idea of appetizers rather than a full dinner. I always feel a little awkward when a full dinner is served at a wedding... I like to roam and chat with people and I always feel a little strange about interrupting someone else's meal so I end up sitting at my table watching everyone else eat.
Post by fussbucket on Jan 30, 2013 11:58:46 GMT -5
Oh, two other pitfalls of the sit-down dinner: guests (a) analyzing your treatment of them in the seating chart and feeling annoyed at clearly being of "low rank" relative to other guests and (b) being trapped at a table for a good chunk of the reception with six people they have little interest in talking to, while people they would like to talk to remain tantalizingly out of reach.
Jumping in from SO. I think this wedding sounds awesome, especially if the stations have substantial amounts of food and people can go back as needed. Apps are usually tastier than a piece of dried chicken anyways. I would just make sure (and I'm sure you do) that you still have ample table space for people to eat said appetizers.