This will be long... WWYD?

[kjohn12]

Poof

[krystee]

How far apart are these places, and when are you getting married? I'd consider staying where you are for one year and sending him back to take the job. Good marketing jobs that don't require experience are few and far between, and I don't think you should leave one month into your first job.

[takeonyou]

Scenario #1 for sure. Stupid phone.

[mskitkat]

What are the job prospects for you like in the MCOL city? Aside from your lack of experience.

[vanillacourage]

Scenario 3 - both of you look for new jobs on a lower COL area.

I don't think you should have to give up a great job so your DH can get a $5k bump - if it takes you a long time to find a new job, the $5k is a wash with your lost wages.

How can you be sure he'll quickly get a subsequent promotion?

[krystee]

Oops, saw that you are married. I read too fast and just saw fiance.

[kjohn12]

We're already married. We live in the Bay Area (wine country) and would have to move to Dallas. It's not legit marketing... I'm doing sales and events. If that matters any.

[krystee]

I assume even with the promotion he'd make less alone than the two of you would combined in your current place. If that is right, I'd stay where you are for at least one year to get good experience on your resume. Could he find a job with growth potential in your current area? If not, after a year, you could consider other locations and jobs.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 11:18:15 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Scenario 3 - both of you look for new jobs on a lower COL area.

I don't think you should have to give up a great job so your DH can get a $5k bump - if it takes you a long time to find a new job, the $5k is a wash with your lost wages.

How can you be sure he'll quickly get a subsequent promotion?

It's in his offer letter that he would get that promotion. Basically his base would be 10-15k more with an annual bonus of 10-20k.

[mmmomof2]

Is your only debt the student loans? What interest rates? If they are relatively low I would let it ride and devote your $$$ to savings. What % is your DH putting to retirement? Can you sign up for 401K? What's your budget?

As far as your scenarios go, I think it depends on your earning potential and your DH's. But also your happiness in your career is important too. Could you guys (and your budget) handle living apart for awhile so you can get more experience? I do think living in a MCOL area is a bonus, but for some people it's not.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 11:22:18 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

I will add that neither option is wrong, but what have you discussed abut your career and growth? I would get concerned if all the job moves were related to him, unless you were SAHM or something like that and were comfortable with it. I only bring it up since you seem to want to have a solid career too

ETA, color me confused. How can you save and pay debt better in SF versus Dallas? how much do you make? is that the major disparity? 

I do. More than anything. We've talked about it and he feels terrible. He's working with the HR department there about getting my resume out there... But how much can they help really, you know?

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 11:17:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

What are the job prospects for you like in the MCOL city? Aside from your lack of experience.

I don't really know... I would assume they're decent. The school I graduated from is well known for it's marketing department in Texas (went to school in Austin). I'd have the HR department helping me.... But none of that is guaranteed.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 11:23:55 GMT -5 kjohn12 said:

Feb 2, 2013 11:18:15 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Scenario 3 - both of you look for new jobs on a lower COL area.

I don't think you should have to give up a great job so your DH can get a $5k bump - if it takes you a long time to find a new job, the $5k is a wash with your lost wages.

How can you be sure he'll quickly get a subsequent promotion?

It's in his offer letter that he would get that promotion. Basically his base would be 10-15k more with an annual bonus of 10-20k.

Once I got a job in Dallas then yes my entire pay would go towards debt/savings... Versus now, where I contribute to our bills as well since everything is more expensive.

[mskitkat]

Feb 2, 2013 11:31:23 GMT -5 kjohn12 said:

Feb 2, 2013 11:17:39 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

What are the job prospects for you like in the MCOL city? Aside from your lack of experience.

I don't really know... I would assume they're decent. The school I graduated from is well known for it's marketing department in Texas (went to school in Austin). I'd have the HR department helping me.... But none of that is guaranteed.

I think you should stay and build up your resume. 1 month experience is going to make any company leery of hiring you. They are going to see you moving around a lot and think that there is no point in investing in someone who is just going to move away again. If you can get at least a year or two under your belt, that will help your career a lot. Unless you two decide that your career will always come second.

[regina22]

You mentioned graduating two years ago, but only finally now getting a job that you love. Were you looking for those two years straight it's no prospects, or did you have other jobs that you did to pay the bills, but didn't truly love. Basically I'm trying to find out what the current job climate is for your industry and what kinds of opportunities you're willing to be open to at this early stage of your career.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 11:41:06 GMT -5 regina22 said:

You mentioned graduating two years ago, but only finally now getting a job that you love. Were you looking for those two years straight it's no prospects, or did you have other jobs that you did to pay the bills, but didn't truly love. Basically I'm trying to find out what the current job climate is for your industry and what kinds of opportunities you're willing to be open to at this early stage of your career.

I had a job I **hated** because I had to pay the bills. I was there for a little over a year before we moved.

[cricketwife]

I don't think either scenario is right or wrong if you both agree that it's the right thing for you as a couple.  However, I'm 10 years older than you and for the first time in my life have a job that I LOVE (as of 6 months ago.)  I've had okay jobs before, but having a job that you love is really amazing.  I personally wouldn't be super inclined to give that up easily.  Plus, it sounds like you've done all the sacrificing so far.  I would stay and build my resume. 

[rubytue]

I'm not sure if its been asked and answers (I only skimmed the responses) - can H find another job where you are now? I think you should stay long enough to get at least a year of experience in your field, and HCOL usually means more job opportunities in general, so can he try to find something he likes where you are now?

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 12:08:34 GMT -5 rubytue said:

I'm not sure if its been asked and answers (I only skimmed the responses) - can H find another job where you are now? I think you should stay long enough to get at least a year of experience in your field, and HCOL usually means more job opportunities in general, so can he try to find something he likes where you are now?

The positions he could get would only be lateral- with the move to Dallas it would end up being a promotion. He's been in the same position for the past 6 years (he's in finance) and wants to eventually move up.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 12:15:05 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Bay area to Dallas? No.

Yes, yes I know. This thought crossed my mind but Dallas puts us closer to Austin (which I also love) so I could make myself ok with Dallas.

[goaskalice]

You couldn't pay me a million dollars to move to Texas so I very biased. I would be inclined to stay where you're at. Your degree could pay very well in the future in NorCal. Can your husband look for a better job there as well?

[Deleted]

Finances aside, would you be happy in Dallas? That's quite a change from the Bay Area. Do you care about proximity to family? Something to think about if you plan on having kids.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 12:41:54 GMT -5 @sarajenn said:

Finances aside, would you be happy in Dallas? That's quite a change from the Bay Area. Do you care about proximity to family? Something to think about if you plan on having kids.

Long term? No, but with my husbands field he can move around (obviously). All of our family is in Colorado anyway so we're okay with the idea of having kids "alone".

[Deleted]

I'd suggest a hybrid - stay in the area, you keep chugging along at the job you love (never underestimate the importance of loving your job!!) and see if your H can find another good local job. If you're doing okay now, which it seems you are, and if the Dallas place wants him, which it does, he is clearly marketable. Yes, the market is rough now, and it may take (likely will take) some time, but going from the Bay Area to Dallas is a huge cultural leap and who knows if you'll find work there, either? Anyway, that's what I'd do. Moving versus not moving - I'll generally recommend erring on the side of caution. Good luck!!

[ellipses84]

Would you be willing to stay in SF until you find a job in Dallas, or at least for a few more months so it looks better on your resume? Being apart would suck, but you could both rent cheap rooms until you are back together. I think that would be better for your career.

[dr.girlfriend]

Feb 2, 2013 12:23:16 GMT -5 kjohn12 said:

Feb 2, 2013 12:15:05 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

Bay area to Dallas? No.

Yes, yes I know. This thought crossed my mind but Dallas puts us closer to Austin (which I also love) so I could make myself ok with Dallas.

Dallas is damn far from Austin.  I would have your DH look for a better job locally, get more experience, and then you guys can jointly look for a new job in a MCOL area.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 13:13:52 GMT -5 dr.girlfriend said:

Feb 2, 2013 12:23:16 GMT -5 kjohn12 said:

Yes, yes I know. This thought crossed my mind but Dallas puts us closer to Austin (which I also love) so I could make myself ok with Dallas.

Dallas is damn far from Austin.  I would have your DH look for a better job locally, get more experience, and then you guys can jointly look for a new job in a MCOL area.

It's about three hours. We've lived in Austin for about three years so I'm familiar with the area and the culture shock.

However, I'm starting to think my H and I are just going to stay put.

[regina22]

Based on all your follow up answers, I vote scenario one.

[Deleted]

I disagree with your classifications--SF proper is VHCOL, Dallas is LCOL. Perhaps Bay Area outside SF is HCOL.

MCOL would be Seattle, Denver, Twin Cities.

Anyway, I vote he keeps looking locally or you live apart until you can find a job you like in Dallas. Or you both wait and relocate to another city entirely In a couple of years.

[kjohn12]

Feb 2, 2013 15:14:29 GMT -5 @kcpokergal said:

I disagree with your classifications--SF proper is VHCOL, Dallas is LCOL. Perhaps Bay Area outside SF is HCOL.

MCOL would be Seattle, Denver, Twin Cities.

Anyway, I vote he keeps looking locally or you live apart until you can find a job you like in Dallas. Or you both wait and relocate to another city entirely In a couple of years.

We don't live in SF anymore... We live in Napa now. Napa isn't anything like SF rents.

We wouldn't want to live in a crappy Dallas neighborhood but I'm not too familiar with COL in Dallas so I guessed mid.