How far are you willing to go?

[degal99]

What's your upper limit of what you'll do to have kids?  Meds?  IUI?  IVF? Adopt?

My big "reveal" day with all my results and blood tests, etc. is this Wednesday.  And DH and I have been talking about what we're willing to do to try and have kids.  I always wanted to adopt regardless of having bio kids or not, and DH has always been on board.  He is on board with adopting if we can't have bio kids, but now I'm hesitant because I don't want to feel like I'm "replacing" my bio kids.  ::sigh:: Stupid emotions.

But, I'm OK with IUI but undecided on IVF.  Of course, DH is willing to try that, but I pointed out, it's a lot easier for him then me!  

So, do you have an upper limit on what you're willing to do?

[bronxgirl]

We're doing IVF right now.  If that doesn't work than we're out of luck b/c we're not interested in pursuing adoption.  If this was my first and I didn't have any other kids than I would consider adoption.

[KaraOrNot]

I am open everything you mentioned. H is open to all of those as well, but is not comfortable w/ sperm or egg doners. Cash will ultimately determine how far we are able to go.

[notmyusualname]

We've talked about this a lot and we are open to everything.

[discogranny]

I never thought we would do IVF and we did. I didn't think adoption was for us but now post IVF miscarriage, we are talking more seriously about it and also about gestational carriers, which I also never thought we'd be okay with. I hope we are successful with our FET but if not, I think we are pretty open to anything.

[bleubook]

I just started the whole diagnostic phase. Getting my ovaries/tubes x-rated with dye on Monday. Had all of my bloodworm done and my hormones are all normal. DH still needs to get tested. We will do that very soon.

Basically I'm willing to take whatever drugs/hormones might be necessary. I'm willing to have surgery to clear blockages/tissue growth, etc.

We will not pursue AI or IVF. It's not for us.

[bronxgirl]

Feb 2, 2013 19:37:31 GMT -5 discogranny said:

I never thought we would do IVF and we did. I didn't think adoption was for us but now post IVF miscarriage, we are talking more seriously about it and also about gestational carriers, which I also never thought we'd be okay with. I hope we are successful with our FET but if not, I think we are pretty open to anything.

This is a good point, that you never really know what you'll do untill you are actually faced with that choice.  For a long time I said we wouldn't do IVF, but a part of me always believed that IUI would eventually work for us this time, like it did last time.  When faced with the reality that it's IVF or no more kids, IVF became a much more attractive option.

[pamela]

Meds and adoption are possibilities. Besides that IUI or IVF wouldn't help me, for religious reasons it's not on the table for us. DH isn't keen on adoption though and I struggle with it. In theory I'm all for it, but then doubts start popping in like attachment problems (me and child's), teen rebellion, explaining why they are adopted, etc.

[lola]

I am concerned about the cost of IVF, but other than that there's no reason it's not on the table. We consider adoption as well, but I don't know enough about it, I think.

[purpleme]

We have considered meds,fostering ,adoption and IUI..
I have health issues that keep interfering with my fertility issues...
My Ob/gyn suggested weight loss surgery...I am considering it
.....sometimes I feel like I am spinning in circles...
I am 38 years old...ugh!!

[Cheesecake]

I won't be open to egg or sperm donation - we haven't discussed that option yet, but I am not open to that at all, so that's already off the table, so is adoption (because of legal age limits here).

Besides those options I won't be able to do a lot, since fertility meds are 99% off the table because of my health. I guess that's where I draw the line, we're not going to risk my life in order to try to create a new life. I know there are always risks, and the regular risks with surgery or childbirth are obviously okay, but severely increasing the odds that I won't survive it, or won't seem my kids graduate is where I do draw the line.

It'll probably leave us with at max removing blockages and/or unmedicated IUI or IVF as possibilities. I'm willing to go through all of those.

[Deleted]

DS and adoption are our only options. We are exploring DS and we don't have any interest in adopting (at least not right now). If we go the DS route, I don't see us going past 3-4 rounds of IUI. I'm not opposed to medicated IUI cycles if natural cycles are unsuccessful.

Honestly, our dx came so far out of left field that both of us with a reduced desire to have a child are really aren't willing to go to the ends of the earth to have one. I vacillate on a daily basis with do I or don't I want a child. We aren't making our decision anytime soon.

We're working with a therapist to sort through our feelings and emotions.

[changedname]

We always said we wouldn't do any fertility drugs and 3 IUIs in, we are now prepping for IVF. Honestly I think I would do up to 3 ivfs (finances allowing) before thinking about adoption. I really want to be pregnant and have the whole experience though. It's so weird how you really do move the goalposts each time and consider stuff you wouldn't even have 1 year ago.

[kershnic]

It's good to talk about these things ahead of time, but I don't think you really know what you'll do until you're there. We're a same-sex couple so I always knew that some kind of AI and donor sperm was needed to get pregnant. I guess I knew I'd do IVF, but for a very long time I believed that I'd only try IVF once. And here I am preparing for IVF 2.0. I also remember swearing I'd never consider spending the money required for my wife to donate her eggs to me, and now that doesn't seem so crazy.

[ilovecandy]

Adoption is out for us. H wants to do iui sometime I am on the fence due to success rates. I would consider Ivf if we could do it at a lower cost than the 20 grand we have been quoted. Otherwise if nothing works we have decided we would be ok being childless.