So, after a lot of deliberating and thinking about how I want my future to turn out, I'm moving back to Minnesota in April.
Basically, it comes down to I don't enjoy my life here, I can't afford to live here, and I am finally in a place where I'm not afraid to ask for help and support from my family. They've wanted to help me and I've refused many times over, mostly because I've been recovering from a lot of things - having my power taken away in my marriage, wanting to make it here on my own, etc. I felt like I was giving up and would be a failure if I went back, and it's still hard to shake that feeling. But I've spent most of my adult life totally isolated from my family and long-time friends, gone through a very rough divorce without immediate support, and it's been lonely. The economy sucks out here, my job is dead-end and I'm just ready to move on.
Bf will be looking for jobs all over the place like he has been, and I'll be in MN for the foreseeable future. He's very supportive of this and just wants me to be happy - he's seen how much anxiety I've had, especially in the last few months regarding money and him not having a good job yet, and me being in a job I hate, etc. I'm not sure where things will end up with us, but for the time being I need to focus on developing myself and being happy.
Oh, in case anyone is wondering, none of the 5 jobs in MD worked out - not living there probably had a lot to do with it. Bf's job in Baltimore didn't work out, either, so what can you do.
Look at this as a new beginning, not a failure. It's a fresh start with family and friends lifting you up. I think this is a good thing. You've gotta look out for #1, you know.
Are you moving in with your parents for a while? Have you started looking at jobs? I really hope this is a smooth transition for you.
Yes, will be moving in with them for a few months. That will be the hardest part for me, but it's temporary and will give me a chance to sock away some more money and pay off my debts faster.
I've already applied for a bunch of jobs and now that I have a set move date, I can let potential employers know exactly when I'll be available to work. All good things.
Gault, it sounds like a really smart decision to move back to MN. It sucks to be far away from family/friends in a place you don't love, and I'm so glad that you're finding a way to make it work.
And also, you are super smart to enjoy one last CA winter and not go to MN until April!
I know this had to be a hard decision for you on a lot of levels. I say good for you! You deserve to be surrounded by love and support and you deserve to have people to lean on.
This whole area sucks right now, and has for a while. It makes sense to leave. Honestly, there are days I want to flee this state, so I get it. I hope that your move goes smoothly.