My fiance is an evil douchebag

[leninacrowne]

So my FI and I are supposed to be working on our relationship while our wedding is on hold (posted about this yesterday) and apparently, to him, "working on our relationship" = being a fucktard who says he's going to come home "on time" today then sends me some bullshit vague-ass text message about needing to stop somewhere else on his way home and then NOT COMING HOME and SHUTTING OFF HIS FUCKING CELL PHONE.

I am SUPER drunk right now and I hate him. I am done.

[Deleted]

Drop him

[leninacrowne]

I can't even deal with his bullshit. I thought he wanted to work on things, and it seemed like things were going well, and now he's doing this. I feel fucking stupid for once again choosing a douchebag, but at least this one didn't turn douchebag until almost three years in, so I guess that's an improvement over the b/fs who were douchebags from the start?

Seriously. I apparently have the worst taste ever in men. Which sucks for me, because I'm otherwise pretty awesome, but I guess nobody's perfect.

[phdprocrastinator]

Dude, any guy who needs to "work on" coming home "on time" is probably not worth it.

Does my husband come home late? Sure he does. His company has offices in Asia and they often have late conference calls. But it's never a question of him not wanting to come home or preferring to be elsewhere. He lets me know in advance whether or not he'll be home for dinner so I don't wait for him, and we're cool.

Needing to give him a curfew just puts you in the unenviable position of being his mother. Not cool.

[leninacrowne]

Jun 1, 2012 20:47:15 GMT -5 phdprocrastinator said:

Dude, any guy who needs to "work on" coming home "on time" is probably not worth it.

Does my husband come home late? Sure he does. His company has offices in Asia and they often have late conference calls. But it's never a question of him not wanting to come home or preferring to be elsewhere. He lets me know in advance whether or not he'll be home for dinner so I don't wait for him, and we're cool.

Needing to give him a curfew just puts you in the unenviable position of being his mother. Not cool.

Prior to like 3 weeks ago, he was awesome about this. He always told me where he was, what he was doing, etc. I never had a reason to doubt him. Then, like two weeks ago he disappeared on a Friday and then came home at like 11 with some bullshit revelation about how he didn't feel like there was enough "intimacy" in our relationship. We got into counseling, I thought counseling was helping, and now he's disappeared again with basically no explanation. I want to set his dumb ass on fire. We had a really good thing and he's actively ruining it for no apparent reason. Dumbass. I have no interest in being his mother. If/when he comes home tonight, he's getting the GTFO conversation.

[Deleted]

Wait, he disappeared, walked through the door at 11pm, didn't tell you where he was and was all, we have intimacy problems??

And now he's doing it again?

Someone is looking for some ass.

[leninacrowne]

I know. The first time I thought he wasn't cheating, but his phone is off now. He's definitely cheating. I am so sad it's ridiculous. I am going to start packing since I'm a little too drunk to sleep.

[fussbucket]

Yeah, it's a good thing you're ready to be done because, well, you know, it's pretty obvious HE'S done.

Someday you will look back at this and realize what a huge bullet you dodged. HUGE.

I know it's still hard and it will be for a while, but really -- it's for the greater good. If this is how he responds in crisis, how would he react if your mom were dying? Your sister's H left her and the kids and she needed your help? If his brother was in jail and needed bailing out? If your child you had together was born sick or disabled?

Really. This guy is not up to the task of being a life partner, and he's showing it off in fine style here. I'm sorry you have to deal with it, but happy for you that it happened BEFORE the wedding.

[dev22]

Nothing but ((hugs)). Sorry you have to deal with this - at least you know you deserve better than his ass.

[Deleted]

ok so hopefully this was the last straw for you....hopefully! Now pack HIS Shit and get him the him the hell out. no more excuses.

[smock]

Yeah, it's pretty clear what he's been doing, and it's not shopping for flowers at the library.

[daringmiss]

DTMFA.

And thank the relationship gods that made his douchebaggery blatant and obvious so that you wouldn't have to have second thoughts or a desire to work it out. He is either actually cheating or looking hard and heavy to cheat. Good riddance.

[Deleted]

There are so many men in the world. Really. You don't have to stay w/ this one.

[Muddled]

I'm sorry, LC. I guess the honeymoon perdiod is over. Hate it for you.

Soooo glad you made the decision to postpone your wedding. You left all doors open, including the exit. Besides, now you can move on knowing that you did everything you could. It's time though. It really is. There can't be any trust there after BS like this.


When did he come home? Did he ever admit to where he was?

[lurkergirl123]

Drop his ass with the quickness. This is ridiculous.

[leninacrowne]

So, quick update. He claims he "got stuck" going out with his boss after work, and his phone wasn't off, it died. He ended up coming home around 10:30. I don't really care what his explanation is - even if it was true (I know, I know, it's not), it doesn't change the fact that he thought it was okay to just disappear and provide no explanation whatsoever. I'm headed to my mom's for the foreseeable future.

[BettyBookWorm]

Jun 1, 2012 21:44:13 GMT -5 dev22 said:

Nothing but ((hugs)). Sorry you have to deal with this - at least you know you deserve better than his ass.

This all the way. Dump this loser. Onward! ({) :beer:

[Deleted]

Good for you for not falling for his bull shit again! Please stay strong and dont fall for what is about to happen!

[tmonoxide]

Jun 1, 2012 20:39:09 GMT -5 leninacrowne said:

So my FI and I are supposed to be working on our relationship while our wedding is on hold (posted about this yesterday) and apparently, to him, "working on our relationship" = being a fucktard who says he's going to come home "on time" today then sends me some bullshit vague-ass text message about needing to stop somewhere else on his way home and then NOT COMING HOME and SHUTTING OFF HIS FUCKING CELL PHONE.

I am SUPER drunk right now and I hate him. I am done.

He's up to no good. It never fails when they pull the disappearing act and shut off the phone/don't answer the phone.

Indeed, drop him. He isn't for you. Sorry for your troubles.

[Deleted]

And he couldn't use his boss's phone to call you???

Chode.

[tmonoxide]

Who wants to play a damn cat and mouse game with this guy??

You can't trust him. You don't need a guy you cannot trust.

[interro]

Yeah, time to put his shit on the porch, LC. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this, but really glad he's making the decision so obvious for you, KWIM? ((Hugs))

[maucat]

Pretty much what everyone else has said. What an assmunch he is. Definitely time to pack his shit up and get rid of him.

[Deleted]

Good for you!

Be glad that he showed you who he really was before the wedding and GTFO.

[exploding people]

Ugh, how shitty. What kind of moron pull this kind of stunt when he knows his relationship is already in trouble? One who doesn't care, I'd say. DTMFA.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But seriously, other commenters had it dead right - DTMFA. And in a week or two, you'll be grateful that he was only a FI and not an H. Keep us posted, okay?

[partiallysunny]

I'm sorry. I had hope that this would turn out well, but it's glaringly obvious what he was doing this time as well as last time.

[kellbell191]

Definitely get into individual counseling to help you choose better next time. I agree that it sounds like he is running around on you.