Lurker coming out...and a date from hell story

[messykitchen]

I lurked for ages at that other place, and followed everyone over here and continued to lurk creepily amongst you. But tonight I had a date with such a charmer, that I just had to share, delurk, and make my presence known.

I met him online. Talked for a week or so, background checked him and everything (I learned SOMETHING from lurking damn it) and all seemed lovely. I meet him at my favorite steak place, since I love steak. We talk well, discuss our respective children briefly, and get into current events since I am a news junkie and it's kind of a test I use, to see if the guy pays attention to anything else in the world.

SO, I have eaten my delicious steak. I decide cheesecake is in order. Around this time the news comes on at the bar (I hate it when restaurants have TV's, but they cook such good food I overlook it) and a story comes on about a girl in our area who was raped. This upsets me, as I am a rape survivor (not that he knew that, of course). So after this delicious meal and what I had been thinking was a nice time, this piece of shit I was with looks at me in all seriousness and said "I have always wanted to rape a girl, but I would have to think she was really hot."

WTMF?!?!?!?

I got up, left for home, and left my cheesecake behind. I'm pissed about the cheesecake.

[frauschmindy]

WHAT.

[tacokick]

Omg

[messykitchen]

WHAT is right. I should of been more dramatic when I left, but all I could think was "I need to get the hell out of here!"

[justduckydancer]

Did he say anything when you got up?

[messykitchen]

He said "going to the bathroom?" and I didn't say anything back. Just left. Now that I am home I have about a million things in my head I SHOULD of said, but I don't think all fast on my feet like that. It would of made for a better story if I had shoved my cheesecake in his face.

I still want cheesecake too!

[justduckydancer]

Wonder how long it takes him to put 2 and 2 together and get 4??

[messykitchen]

Maybe he did. He has not txted or anything. I almost wish he would now that I have thought of clever things to say.

[10nille]

I'm glad he didn't ruin cheesecake for you forever. That is the most appalling 1st date story!

That might have made me speechless, too.

[hubes]

Can you flag his profile or something? That's disgusting and dangerous.

[messykitchen]

I did write to Match (where we met) I am not sure what they will do. The more I think about it the more creeped out I get. I thought I had better instincts since I have been through it, etc etc.

He didn't ruin cheesecake for me, but I think I am off the online dating game for awhile. I have met some shall we say, colorful people in the past few months. Though he tops the list by FAR.

[frauschmindy]

My sister wrote in to Match after briefly dating someone who liked to push her around (and then started stalking her when they broke up), and I'm pretty sure they suspended his profile or flagged it in some way. I don't know how that works.

[messykitchen]

Leggs, that is encouraging. I will update when I hear back from them. I am very sorry your sister went through that

[smock]

Holy shit, what an asshole! I'd also like to hear what match does.

[maucat]

I can't imagine how you could've handled yourself and that situation better. That is scary and that guy's a total creeper. I'm also interested in how Match responds.

[Deleted]

That's horrifying. I really hope Match flags him somehow. What an awful story.

[statlerwaldorf]

Wow. I would've left right away too.

[justaname]

Wow that is horrible. What on earth would make him think that was ok to say to anyone at any time, let alone to a stranger on a first date??

[BettyBookWorm]

Gross. :X

[tmonoxide]

This guy is mentally disturbed. I'd have left on the spot.

And too bad you can't report this shithead to the authorities. One never knows.

Thank your lucky stars and lucky planets you got the heck out of that one safely.

[Deleted]

OMFG I would have slammed that cheesecake in his face. Thank god you got out of that one early. What a fuckstick.

[interro]

Omg...that is disgusting, good for you for walking out. Now treat yourself to a piece of cheesecake with a friend or something...to celebrate getting the hell away from that scum.

[tmonoxide]

I hope this shit hasn't got your phone number or any of your other personal details. Ugh.

Report him to Match -- see if you can call and get a live person.

[moonfrogx]

Jun 3, 2012 13:06:05 GMT -5 @sweetcuppincakes said:

OMFG I would have slammed that cheesecake in his face. Thank god you got out of that one early. What a fuckstick.

This exactly. wow - good thing that news story came on when it did!

[Muddled]

What a fucking moron.

Welcome to the board!

[messykitchen]

Just an update: Match wrote and said they were removing his profile. But what stops him from making a new one?

He texted me yesterday and called me a stupid fat bitch. Annoying since I am a fucking genius, beautifully curvy, and NOT fat. I am a bitch though, but I wouldn't of been if he hadn't of been such an asshole! Walking away was the least bitchy thing I could of done, really.

I also made myself the most awesome cheesecake yesterday and ate like 3 pieces. Adding to the curves ya know

Thanks for the welcome and support ladies!

[Deleted]

Did you tell him he was a fucking disgusting rapist-wannabe? Holy fucking crap this makes me ragey. How dare he insult you for not excusing his utterly reprehensible desires. I am so sorry you had to even deal with level of asshole.

Good on you for getting his profile deleted. As far as him making another one, maybe you can ask Match if they ban IP addresses when they delete profiles?

[messykitchen]

That is a good point about IP addresses, I will write them again and ask if that is possible.

Sue - my son's father is a cop (we are still good friends) and I told him, and printed out his profile and gave it to him. I only have his cell number and names, (he has a really common name) and I know the city he lives in, so who knows? I hope they aren't looking for him (since someone would of had to of gotten hurt) but if they are, maybe I helped.

I did not respond to his txt. I saw no reason to engage him in any conversation.

If I hadn't of lurked around so long on the old and new boards, I might not of been wise enough to not give him my full name, or real telephone number, or address. I might of been stupid and met him in a park instead of a crowded restaurant. I might of made tons of unsafe choices as this online dating thing is all new to me. You guys may of saved me! And I love all of you for it.

[moolarkey]

I would NOT respond to his email or anything else from him, I doubt that you did. You could set this guy off and if he is a violent person, it could cause him to come after you. He sounds just nuts enough do actually be that kind of person and I would call the police, they might not do anything but then again, maybe they are looking for him and if nothing else, it give them a heads up if he does pull anything with someone else.

I would be very careful for awhile, I'm guessing he doesn't know where you live, work or your phone number - I hope not.

[phdprocrastinator]

That's terrible.

Honestly, I think just getting up and leaving without saying anything is the best response you could have had. If you had said something to him, he would have just become argumentative (probably claiming it "was just a joke") and pissed you off more. I love to think of him sitting there waiting for you to come back and slowly realizing that he was all alone.

What a sick fuck.