I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE. OK, no, but I volunteer A and me to be your couple friend. I believe writing "safe travels" on a FB wall is the only Bon voyage gift needed, and I am happy to watch my friends' progress on blogs or FB.
Can you maybe compromise and send her one post card? That will show that you were thinking of her and possibly be enough to keep her from feeling sad and venting to your H's friend, but without you having to spend much time or effort.
I wouldn't ask somebody I wasn't close to for multiple, or maybe even one, postcard/s, so I don't think you're an asshole for feeling irritated. I also can see how showing interest in your travels might seem to her like a good way to further a friendship with you.
Don't worry. I will send one postcard.
But I just don't want to get sucked into her world of wall words and photo walls. She recently stenciled, "Oh, the places you'll go!" in her dining room and surrounded it with photos.
And then she suggested that I do the same.
I was meh until this. No. NO. Fucking wall words? You?! Don't encourage this chick.
Post by flamingeaux on Feb 16, 2013 23:06:00 GMT -5
Maybe you could just buy them and give them to her when you get back? No writing necessary. When I was on the road with DH, I would buy a post card the first time we stopped in a new state. Nerd party of one!
Can you maybe compromise and send her one post card? That will show that you were thinking of her and possibly be enough to keep her from feeling sad and venting to your H's friend, but without you having to spend much time or effort.
I wouldn't ask somebody I wasn't close to for multiple, or maybe even one, postcard/s, so I don't think you're an asshole for feeling irritated. I also can see how showing interest in your travels might seem to her like a good way to further a friendship with you.
Don't worry. I will send one postcard.
But I just don't want to get sucked into her world of wall words and photo walls. She recently stenciled, "Oh, the places you'll go!" in her dining room and surrounded it with photos.
And then she suggested that I do the same.
Ok, I seriously just cackled!! I think I've only met you irl once, but even *I* know this is sooooo not you!! I'm sad for this girl, but uh, you guys won't mesh...
You're not an asshole for not jiving with someone. One of Ts friends brought his girlfriend over here and she made me want to throat punch someone. I made meatloaf for dinner and offered them some (they came over unplanned) and her response was "no offense em but this bacon loaf or whatever it is would be better without bacon" Umm no you're wrong. Thanks.
I don't even send postcards to my mom on vacation. I'm definitely not sending one to someone who is trying way to hard to be my best friend. I know he gave you ride to the airport, which is very nice, but just reciprocate with a ride for him later. No postcards!
Aw, I feel bad for her. It sounds like she's trying really hard to get her new H's friends to like her. I will be a voice of dissent and say I'd take pity on her and be sweet back. If you want to stay friends with the dude you probably don't have a choice anyway
Mail from foreign countries can take forever. I went to Costa Rica for a month. I mailed some post cards the first week and they arrived 2 weeks after I got back. I'd skip it and if she asks just say the mail service from the Galapagos must suck.
I think I'm coming at this from a different place than most people. H and I live in a city far away from all our family members and close friends. We have no close friends here and it's difficult to make good friends. I feel like if we found a couple we genuinely enjoyed spending time with, we might try too hard as well by offering to be helpful (like driving to the airport) or things like that. So I do feel for her and think she is just trying to be nice and make a good friend because maybe she doesn't have a ton of close female friends.
I understand not liking the super crafty card stuff. My MIL LOOOOOVES to make super crafty cards like that and I get one on every special occasion and have to feign delight. But she gets enjoyment out of making them and it's how she chooses to spend her time (she loves scrapbooking, knitting, etc) so who am I to judge, right? I spend some of my free time on Internet message boards.
I would probably send one postcard (which it sounds like you are going to do) and just be open to the possibility of being friends in the future. Perhaps in time she will realize she does not need to try so hard. If it turns out after awhile that you just don't click, then no harm, no foul.
I wouldn't ask somebody I wasn't close to for multiple, or maybe even one, postcard/s, so I don't think you're an asshole for feeling irritated. I also can see how showing interest in your travels might seem to her like a good way to further a friendship with you.
Don't worry. I will send one postcard.
But I just don't want to get sucked into her world of wall words and photo walls. She recently stenciled, "Oh, the places you'll go!" in her dining room and surrounded it with photos.
And then she suggested that I do the same.
Oh, well, if this is what it is, pick up a postcard and just give it to her when you return, saying something like, "Gee, I just never saw a postbox/place to buy stamps/whatever, but here's a card to add to ypur collection."
Done. And buying a fifty cent postcard when they'll likely be everywhere anyhow doesn't seem like a huge deal to keep the peace.
Post by foundmylazybum on Feb 17, 2013 11:43:22 GMT -5
I wouldn't send a post card. Especially since it's not "you." If (and that's a big "if") you want to be friends with this couple they should want to be friends with the "real" you...which is a person who doesn't make cards, and doesn't send post cards, or bring little gifts from their vacations--and they should love THAT person!
When you get back, with no post card for them, just laugh it off and say "oh yeah, that's not something I'm into! I don't even do that for my family, but I appreciated the time and effort YOU took to make that card. It was really nice!"
But I just don't want to get sucked into her world of wall words and photo walls. She recently stenciled, "Oh, the places you'll go!" in her dining room and surrounded it with photos.
And then she suggested that I do the same.
Oh, well, if this is what it is, pick up a postcard and just give it to her when you return, saying something like, "Gee, I just never saw a postbox/place to buy stamps/whatever, but here's a card to add to ypur collection."
Done. And buying a fifty cent postcard when they'll likely be everywhere anyhow doesn't seem like a huge deal to keep the peace.
But yeah - clingy much?
I'd do this as well. Easier for you and they'll have postcards while you're waiting at the airport or buying water somewhere or something.
Post by thedutchgirl on Feb 17, 2013 12:17:05 GMT -5
I'm stuck on why someone would hand make a card for someone going on vacation? People do that? Like it is an occasion or something?
I wouldn't send a postcard even to be nice. I'd take a picture of one, email to them with a message like SueSue proposed, and say that the mail is annoying.
I am not a postcard sender, and the homemade card and request for a postcard is just bizarre.
Post by Jalapeñomel on Feb 17, 2013 12:19:32 GMT -5
No wonder it's hard to make new friends.
She's socially awkward and desperate for a friend. I don't get why asking Miso to send a postcard makes her a fruitcake. Or why sending a postcard sets a precedence.
She's socially awkward and desperate for a friend. I don't get why asking Miso to send a postcard makes her a fruitcake. Or why sending a postcard sets a precedence.
I think people are reacting to the stenciled wall art and home made cards, and viewing sending a post card as encouraging grandmotherly behavior.
I think I'm coming at this from a different place than most people. H and I live in a city far away from all our family members and close friends. We have no close friends here and it's difficult to make good friends. I feel like if we found a couple we genuinely enjoyed spending time with, we might try too hard as well by offering to be helpful (like driving to the airport) or things like that. So I do feel for her and think she is just trying to be nice and make a good friend because maybe she doesn't have a ton of close female friends.
I understand not liking the super crafty card stuff. My MIL LOOOOOVES to make super crafty cards like that and I get one on every special occasion and have to feign delight. But she gets enjoyment out of making them and it's how she chooses to spend her time (she loves scrapbooking, knitting, etc) so who am I to judge, right? I spend some of my free time on Internet message boards.
I would probably send one postcard (which it sounds like you are going to do) and just be open to the possibility of being friends in the future. Perhaps in time she will realize she does not need to try so hard. If it turns out after awhile that you just don't click, then no harm, no foul.
she sounds like she's either 1) sweet, a tad pushy, and doesn't really get you but would like to be friends, or 2) a scary crafter who might stab you in your shower psycho-style. only time will tell.
She's socially awkward and desperate for a friend. I don't get why asking Miso to send a postcard makes her a fruitcake. Or why sending a postcard sets a precedence.
I think I'm coming at this from a different place than most people. H and I live in a city far away from all our family members and close friends. We have no close friends here and it's difficult to make good friends. I feel like if we found a couple we genuinely enjoyed spending time with, we might try too hard as well by offering to be helpful (like driving to the airport) or things like that. So I do feel for her and think she is just trying to be nice and make a good friend because maybe she doesn't have a ton of close female friends.
I understand not liking the super crafty card stuff. My MIL LOOOOOVES to make super crafty cards like that and I get one on every special occasion and have to feign delight. But she gets enjoyment out of making them and it's how she chooses to spend her time (she loves scrapbooking, knitting, etc) so who am I to judge, right? I spend some of my free time on Internet message boards.
I would probably send one postcard (which it sounds like you are going to do) and just be open to the possibility of being friends in the future. Perhaps in time she will realize she does not need to try so hard. If it turns out after awhile that you just don't click, then no harm, no foul.
Not an asshole but I am right here with her.
I'm also lol'ing at everyone who's all WALL STENCILS? OMG! Who cares? (and no, I don't have wall stencils, lol).
Because she's a postcard person and if Miso sends one this time, she's going to think Miso also is and she will expect one everytime Miso goes on a trip.
So, if Miso doesn't say it this time, at some point she probably is going to have to actually tell this girl "actually, I'm not a postcard person". I think it would be easier to just say that NOW as to not ever put out that expectation that she'll do this again.
actually...the asking for a postcard is weird all by itself.
Asking for a postcard from someone you've only had dinner with once inside a handmade card...That sends up little red flags that she will be so incredibly needy there is no hope at a friendship ever.
I probably would intend to send a post card, go as far as buying one, and then give up when I couldn't find a stamp.
Then it would ride around in my purse for a couple of months.