XP from parenting Advice needed

[starfish]

   I lurk mostly, but I love the advice you all give, so I posting here too.

 A little background, we have 2 kids, a 3 year old special needs, and a 16 month old. Special needs has to do with speech, and a little bit of sensory disorder. 3 year old sees OT and speech therapist each week.

Last week 3 year old had Scarlet fever, We found that out after taking him to Dr who said Ear infection. We treated him, and week latter he broke out in a huge red rash. So we scheduled an apt for our 16 month old to also check for strep. It was over the weekend so we stayed in, didn't want to spread strep around. Over the weekend the 16 month old started to bruise. I know kids bruise on there legs, and elbows when starting to walk, but this was from foot to knee, all over her arms, head, and on her back. Never bruised like this before.

  I stayed at home, while my DH took the 16 month in. He came back in a panic that we were going to loose one of the kids. The dr was fine with all the bruising but the ones on her back. He told my dh that someone was hitting the baby. When my dh said no one hits, the Dr got rude, and said that wasn't a question. 
   He then went on a long speech about how our 3 year old was special needs, and maybe he was beating her. My dh had to push to get the Dr to order blood work, or to check to see if something was causing the bruising besides abuse. He finely sent an order for blood work, to check and see if something is wrong with her clotting, but we have to come back in a week, with our 3 year old to talk about the back bruises, and to check on the blood work.

 I wanted baby checked for anemia, I had as a kid, and would bruise from brushing against a pillow. Dr says anemia doesnt cause bruising, trauma causes bruises. He didn't want to check that, we both got the feeling that the Dr has made up his mind that our 3 year old is abusing the baby because he is special needs. He kept bring that up, and wouldn't listen that the sudden bruising started up this weekend. 


    We feel like the Dr jumped on the special needs = violent bandwagon, and ran with it. Our 3 year old knows not to hit, we don't hit, or spank. The only person in our household who hits, is the baby (at the smacking stage) but is learning we don't hit. 

  We are going to wait till Tuesday to see how baby's blood work turns out, then switching Drs.  My dh is so worried if we do that, the Dr is going to try to punish us by contacting child services, and wait a few months to transfer. I think as soon as Tuesday get the kids records, and get a new dr. 

   My sister babysat last weekend, and even took some pics, and there wasn't a single bruise on the baby's leg.

[thinkofthesoldiers]

Isn't sudden bruising also a sign of leukemia? Get some bloodwork done.

[eb777888]

Hmmmmm. That's odd. I'd go see another doctor to get the anemia bloodwork. S is 4, has/had a pretty severe speech delay and minor sensory issues and was absolutely never ever violent. The thought makes me laugh a little. This doctor sounds like an asshole. I'd be more concerned about the bruising and less concerned about the doctor's opinion. If you know your son isn't violent then move on to other possible causes. I'm sorry

[softspot]

I would definitely get a second opinion. Sudden & excessive bruising can be a symptom of a lot of different things. Bloodwork is necessary.

[imojoebunny]

I am lucky, we had known our pediatrician for 20 years when both my kids where failure to thrive and malnourished over the course of several years for no clear medical reason. She took our concerns seriously because she knew the kind of people we were and did not jusmp to conclusions that we somehow failed to feed them. I am sorry for your horrible experience. Hope you get answers soon.

[starfish]

We are going in a hour to get the blood work we had to fight for. I have already been calling around looking for a new Dr for them, closest time is a week to get apt. So we going to get blood work, then in for apt on Tuesday and I am going to ask for records and get a new Dr.
It was so sudden that we thought about taking the baby into the Er. There was one giant black bruise with a hard knot on the back of the head we really worried about that popped up Sunday. The Dr thinks its just from falling when walking. There are about 20 bruises up and down each leg, and they all came up Saturday and Sunday.

I am really pissed at the Dr, he missed strep in my 3 year old, till it turned into Scarlet fever, and now to accuse my 3 year old just because he is special needs. I trying not to think what could be wrong with the baby, because I am worst case type of person.

[Captain Serious]

Absolutely switch doctors. A doctor who doesn't try to find a cause for unexplained symptoms is worthless. As for your husband's fears the doctor will involve CPS: first, the doctor doesn't have to know you are seeing anyone else; second, even if he does report, you have nothing to hide, and it will be proven by your perseverance in trying to find a reason for the bruising even when your doctor abandoned you. That's right--he abandoned you, in that he's not willing to help you find an answer.

Secondly, you don't need a doctor that doesn't understand your older child's special needs. This guy surly doesn't, if he's unwilling to consider that just because your son has special needs, he may not be violent. Speech and sensory issues are very common, and although some children with sensory issues have hitting tendencies, many do not. If your doctor is unwilling to acknowledge this, you'll have a very long 15 years ahead of you as your older child faces issues throughout childhood.

Move on, find answers. There ARE medical conditions that can cause bruising, and if your child is in jeopardy of having one of them, you need to find out ASAP.

[Captain Serious]

Feb 25, 2013 12:55:34 GMT -5 starfish said:

It was so sudden that we thought about taking the baby into the Er. There was one giant black bruise with a hard knot on the back of the head we really worried about that popped up Sunday. The Dr thinks its just from falling when walking. There are about 20 bruises up and down each leg, and they all came up Saturday and Sunday.

With this new information, I urge you to take your baby to the ER.  If there's nothing wrong, they'll send you away, but if it's serious, you'll want to know before your next appointment with someone other than your current doctor.

Also, you don't have to ask for your records.  Have your new doctor's office (whoever they'll be) send for them.

[muffin0]

Feb 25, 2013 12:58:53 GMT -5 Captain Serious said:

Feb 25, 2013 12:55:34 GMT -5 starfish said:

It was so sudden that we thought about taking the baby into the Er. There was one giant black bruise with a hard knot on the back of the head we really worried about that popped up Sunday. The Dr thinks its just from falling when walking. There are about 20 bruises up and down each leg, and they all came up Saturday and Sunday.

With this new information, I urge you to take your baby to the ER.  If there's nothing wrong, they'll send you away, but if it's serious, you'll want to know before your next appointment with someone other than your current doctor.

Also, you don't have to ask for your records.  Have your new doctor's office (whoever they'll be) send for them.

yeah I vote ER now.

[karmasabiotch]

I'd go to to the ER so you can have a second source that is documenting the bruises and looking into what might be causing them, asap.

The Doctor is a mandated reporter so if he suspected abouse he needed to contact CPS within 24 hours so switching Dr.'s shouldn't impact that.

[starfish]

I just got off the phone with a nurse in the Er. Even if we bring baby in, it would be a few days for all the blood work, nurse said long as baby is happy, and playing, just to keep an eye on. If fever, sudden bleeding from nose, gums, or eyes. Any weakness, or any type of mood swing to bring in.
She also suggested a couple of different drs to call, and that the new Dr could also get the blood work we get done.

[cc]

Another vote for the ER.

[snipsnsnails]

Yes, I agree with Karma. Your doctor would've already contacted the authorities as a mandated reporter. But this bruising sounds outside of the realm of normal childhood bumps and falls. At least what I'm imagining in my mind. I would take your child to urgent care or the ER.

[cleo29]

This is not normal, go to the ER. Your pedi sounds like a buffoon. I bruise easily, but this sounds insane.

[karmasabiotch]

Go to urgent care. She needs to be checked out and you might REALLY want another medical source to document faded brises and/or no fresh bruising.

[Deleted]

where do you live? I don't understand all these medical professionals acting like this is nothing. it's not normal. my dd is 16 months and has had 1 bruise. and she's rough.

I also don't know why blood work would take so long if you go to the ER.

[starfish]

I think the bleeding from eyes has me freaked out, We are heading into the children urgent care near us. That and I just changed baby's diaper, and there was 4 new bruises on thighs and butt.

[malibu]

Feb 25, 2013 13:57:59 GMT -5 starfish said:

I think the bleeding from eyes has me freaked out, We are heading into the children urgent care near us. That and I just changed baby's diaper, and there was 4 new bruises on thighs and butt.

I am glad you're going to urgent care. This is not normal.

[cheeseandcrackers]

Good luck! Stay strong.. this must be so scary.

[softspot]

I'm praying everything is ok!

[Deleted]

A sudden rash a bruising can indicate serious health issues. Go see another doctor NOW.

[applev]

Lurker here. This sounds like what my friend went through with her daughter last year. I just texted her and she said to ask them to check for ITP. Broken blood vessels on face and torso are indicators also. If your baby has had a cold or flu recently, ITP is likely because the body attacks platelets thinking it's the virus. I'm sorry your baby is sick and your Doctor isn't listening. You and your family are in my prayers.

[kcr1972]

I was also going to mention ITP. I had a friend years ago who almost lost both of her kids to suspected abuse until the doctors finally made the ITP diagnoses. It was serious but he is a happy healthy teen now. If mom hand't stood up to them they would have taken her kids.

[awick14]

starfish - I know your probably really busy but can you please update when you can. I've been thinking about you a lot today. (I'm sure we all have)

((Hugs))

[katfayder]

Just thoughts and prayers he, I think everyone esle has coverd the useful advice. Feel for you on the knee-jerk reaction from the dr re: special needs child MUST be rough with baby. ER Is a just, a change of doctors is a must. 

[Deleted]

Guys, her kid isn't bleeding from the eyes. The nurse said to watch for that and it freaked her out.