Post by creamsiclechica on Feb 27, 2013 17:35:27 GMT -5
I know I'm not alone here in this boat, but this is killing me. For months now, A has been getting up every 45 minutes to an hour. That's when we even get her to sleep. Last night, she got up screaming every 10 minutes until 5am. She then slept until 10, but got up and needed to be held every hour during those 5 hours. Today she refused to go down for any nap, except twice when she slept 15 and 20 minutes respectively. She'll only sleep in the car, and I just cannot drive around all night.
I can't do CIO. It won't even work, because when I'm holding her, she's crying anyway. I've tried shushing, patting her back, pacis, nothing is working, and I feel like crying every day. I've even got her in our bed 50% of the time, and she barely even sleeps there. I don't know what to do, but this is breaking me. I have no idea why this child hates sleeping.
Post by TrudyCampbell on Feb 27, 2013 17:38:23 GMT -5
Oh, Cream, I'm so sorry. That sounds absolutely awful. I am sorry that I don't have any advice but I am sending hugs and sleepy vibes your way!
I know you're not into CIO, and you said she's crying anyway, but have you tried letting her cry by herself for a few minutes? Sometimes Violet cries and cries as I try to rock her and hold her but then when I leave the room she calms herself down within a few minutes.
Post by erniebufflo on Feb 27, 2013 17:40:54 GMT -5
With Etta, if she's going to scream in my arms or in the crib, I've kind of come to think that I might as well just let her cry in the crib. I mean, really, what's the big difference? When she gets to that point, where she's screaming and thrashing in my arms, it's not like I'm really providing any comfort.
But I get what you're meaning, and it's why I'm still not really willing to let her cry during MOTN wakeups. Well, that and, she shares a room with her sister and I don't want two awake, screaming babies.
Hugs for you. I'm sorry it is not going well. I was there, for at least 2 months. I wasn't myself, it was breaking me too. we didn't cry it out either but she cried in our arms regardless. When did it start?
Post by creamsiclechica on Feb 27, 2013 17:44:33 GMT -5
I've tried putting her in by herself for a few minutes, and the screaming like escalates to that choking/gagging cry. Her standing in the crib has been the worst thing ever, because no matter what, when she wakes up, she immediately stands up and cries. She can get herself down, but just won't, and gets increasingly upset until we come in.
We see the ENT on the 20th about her ears. I just had her to the pedi yesterday and they said her ears are clear now, but I mean, this can't be normal. DH is trying to help, but most of the time, she just wants me and won't even remotely calm down for him.
I'm just at a loss. She hasn't cut any teeth since December (when she got 6 at once), but she still has a runny nose, so maybe even if her ears are clear, there's still sinus pressure? This is just brutal.
Elias has been waking up every two hours at least, sometimes every hour, for the past few weeks, and I'm so miserable. He wants to eat every time, and then keeps waking up tossing and turning. Eating is the only thing that kind of calms him down but it's just creating a problem. I also can't do CIO and would love some advice! I tried not feeding last night and neither of us got any sleep.
Post by creamsiclechica on Feb 27, 2013 17:53:31 GMT -5
Thanks so much everyone. Trudy, I was giving her motrin and benadryl on recommendation of the pedi for the congestion, but even on the benadryl, still waking up, I can't believe it.
And cat, we weren't, because Matt's TBI makes his sleep movements unpredictable, but at this point, he's even moved out of bed to the couch, or puts something on between us so I can try to bed share, but even that's not working great either. And Chels, she had reflux as a small infant, but they gave her the all clear for that at like 8 months. Maybe that's coming back with solids?
I would encourage you to give CIO just 3 nights. Just try it. If she's crying anyway then what's it going to hurt? It was REALLY hard for me to do it (especially since it had already failed 2 times) but you both NEED sleep! I know how hard it is to not have sleep- I'm sorry you are going through this
ETA: sorry, didn't really read everything- I'm at the dentist and had didn't get through it all.
I would encourage you to give CIO just 3 nights. Just try it. If she's crying anyway then what's it going to hurt? It was REALLY hard for me to do it (especially since it had already failed 2 times) but you both NEED sleep! I know how hard it is to not have sleep- I'm sorry you are going through this
ETA: sorry, didn't really read everything- I'm at the dentist and had didn't get through it all.
ETAA: it took D a good 25 minutes of crying/blood curdling screaming the first night to calm down on her own. But now she just rolls on over and goes to sleep- maaaaybe whines for 3-4 minutes.
Oh honey I wish I could come hug you and then hold A for a few hours while you sleep. I'm so sorry.
I agree - ear infections? A has to be exhausted too. Is your DH around right now? Mila has started to do better when my DH goes in and rocks her for awhile. She normally sleeps several hour stretches then, whereas if she sees me, she gets up every two hours or less.
I'm so sorry, we don't sleep well either, but that sounds horrendous. Maybe sleeping somewhat elevated would help if she's still having trouble with or traumatized by her ears/sinuses. Do you have a RnP or swing? Will she sleep in the car seat? I hope you get some relief soon.
Post by Faevantastic on Feb 27, 2013 18:09:16 GMT -5
Sorry, cream.
If you don't want to do CIO, I recommend Baby Whisperer by Tracie Hogg. It's worked for us for the most part. Evan doesn't STTN but he will fall asleep on his own and stay asleep for a few hours at least. Let me know if you're interested, I can provide you a copy of the book.
I'm so sorry, cream! We just went through a full week of that due to combined teething and a cold and I thought I was going to go crazy (and also caught her cold). I can't imagine a month. She slept best either with her head on my chest, tummy to tummy, or nursing, but in either case head elevated. I'm in your same camp of non-CIO and also have a cry escalator who will get hysterical if left to cry.
We have to hold G for naps, or take her out in the stroller. And she sleeps next to me at night (DH currently chooses to sleep in the guest room so he gets decent sleep). Usually she goes back to sleep at night without fussing once I shove a boob in her mouth, though we've been working through some 3am party times since her week of not sleeping.
No real advice here, but hugs and I'm always happy to listen.
I'm so sorry it's so rough for you. We've been having trouble, but not like that. Is it possible she has allergies? A friend of mine has dealt with both her sons having allergies and they scream like that when their bellies hurt.
One thing I think helped us was an amber necklace. It sounded crazy to me, but I was willing to try anything. I won't put it around his neck, but I wrap it around his ankle. The nights DH has accidentally left it off, he's even more restless. Maybe it's a placebo effect, but it seems to help.
Do you have a white noise machine/music/lovey/light in her room? I'm sure you've tried everything, but I figure it can't help to toss out some suggestions, just in case.
Big ((HUGS)) cream, that really sucks. I thought our every 2 hours was bad, but you must be dying sweetie! Good luck, I have no answers, and I'm sorry about that!
I would encourage you to give CIO just 3 nights. Just try it. If she's crying anyway then what's it going to hurt? It was REALLY hard for me to do it (especially since it had already failed 2 times) but you both NEED sleep! I know how hard it is to not have sleep- I'm sorry you are going through this
ETA: sorry, didn't really read everything- I'm at the dentist and had didn't get through it all.
ETAA: it took D a good 25 minutes of crying/blood curdling screaming the first night to calm down on her own. But now she just rolls on over and goes to sleep- maaaaybe whines for 3-4 minutes.
Did you go back and check every few minutes or just wait it out? I tried with Elias and I would go back and check on him, let him know everything was okay without picking him up but gently trying to pat him or soothe him and it was not working at all even after 45 minutes. He cried so hard he threw up and I felt so awful. It didn't seem like it was going to stop any time soon and I knew he was exhausted so I was surprised he wouldn't just fall asleep. But he really fights his sleep. I don't know, I really don't think I could try again. I was never comfortable with the idea but I was desperate. I did it a total of 2-3 times, I think I would have had to continue for hours...