Not STTN is breaking me

[Deleted]

Jnollee: checking in on my LO actually makes her freak out even worse. Without checking in she's asleep in 10ish minutes every night, the few nights where I checked in she escalated to the point where I couldn't do it and held her.

[Deleted]

Yeah what's she like during the day? Do you think she could be hungry, like Elias acts during the motn?

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2013 19:01:22 GMT -5 @lindy said:

Jnollee: checking in on my LO actually makes her freak out even worse. Without checking in she's asleep in 10ish minutes every night, the few nights where I checked in she escalated to the point where I couldn't do it and held her.

That's exactly how it was. Well how long do you go without checking? How long is too long?

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2013 19:03:06 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Feb 27, 2013 19:01:22 GMT -5 @lindy said:

Jnollee: checking in on my LO actually makes her freak out even worse. Without checking in she's asleep in 10ish minutes every night, the few nights where I checked in she escalated to the point where I couldn't do it and held her.

That's exactly how it was. Well how long do you go without checking? How long is too long?

I do 10-15 minutes max, unless I see her settling down in her sleeping position. If she's still not calming down I go in and check for a dirty diaper or see if she's hungry. I don't know what a normal time to not go in is but that has worked for us.

[thedahliharpa]

Hugs mama.

Do you feel she is generally a high needs baby or is she just nocturnal? I ask because I was reading a article a few months ago about how high needs babies are wired differently for sleep.

[spaghetticat]

Oh Cream, I am so sorry. That is a form of torture. Is she too big for the swing? The swing was a lifesaver for us and taught her how to fall asleep on her own. Good luck, mama. Hang in there.

[lolaburns]

Oh Cream, my heart just breaks for you guys. You and A need to get some sleep.

I read your post and wondered the same as Dahli. Do you consider A high needs? If illness is ruled out my guess is you are dealing with a major case of separation anxiety, especially since you say she only wants to be held by you. I think then she keeps crying because she is so tired, but doesn't know how to turn her little switch off.

Does she respond to white noise, pacifiers or any soothing at all? Was she able to self-soothe herself a little bit before this got really bad?


Sent from the bottom of a Clorox bottle.

[rjamz]

I second Ernie's suggestion of a sleep consultant. My friend with twins used one and it was a lifesaver.

I hope it works out soon for both of you

[creamsiclechica]

These are all really good suggestions, everyone, and thank you all so much for the support! If we don't get a solid answer at this ENT appointment, I might actually see about contacting a sleep consultant like you recommended, Ernie. I tried putting her in the swing, but she thinks it's like playtime in there, even strapped in, and she tries to climb out. I do white noise (sleep sheep ocean sounds). We have two dogs, and although I am a FANATIC about cleaning, I've begun to wonder if maybe she has an allergy that isn't helping the sinuses? She is generally a very happy baby, and not really high needs. She likes to be worn, but she's independent at playing and generally not fussy. I feel like this all started when we went home to Pennsylvania in the beginning of December. I'm beginning to wonder if maybe the plane pressure did some damage to her ears because that's when the ear infections started and have just keep coming, and it's also when her sleep deteriorated completely.

I do know for certain it's not hunger, only because I try to nurse her every time, if only to calm her down, and she refuses when she's not truly hungry. She's never been a comfort nurser; she uses her paci for that.

So maybe the answer lies in the ears/sinuses/allergies. The day of our appointment, we also have a hearing test. She responds to my voice, so I think her hearing is okay, but we'll see what they say. Hopefully tonight goes a little better. Thank you all so much for your support, suggestions, and theories. Evan, I'm going to order that book tonight, give it a try!

I love you all so much!

[Deleted]

I don't have any advice, but I feel for you. Hope you get some sleep soon!

[ruby412]

Feb 27, 2013 19:51:21 GMT -5 @vsalt31 said:

I don't have any advice, but I feel for you. Hope you get some sleep soon!

Me too! I hope you can get to the bottom of things soon. Hugs!

[laurack]

Matilda was like that, the way you describe, with sleep when I went to Ireland for christmas. it was the weirdest thing, because normally she goes down without a fuss. But after flying to visit my family she freaked out sleep wise. She would not sleep, she wold wake every 45 minutes screaming apparently in agony. I even took her to a doc there and they said no ear infection or anything. She would only sleep in bed with me, boob in mouth. When I removed the boob she would wake up again. Even in my bed she was restless and moaned a lot.

I would hold her while she arched away and screamed.

And during the day she was totally fine! Bizarre.

I have to say I was losing my marbles and that was only for a week or two! I feel so, so bad for you guys.

[lolaburns]

Is there any way to get the pedi to call in a favor to the ENT to get seen before the 20th? I don't want you guys going through this for that long.


Sent from the bottom of a Clorox bottle.

[Deleted]

Feb 27, 2013 18:58:34 GMT -5 jnoellee said:

Feb 27, 2013 17:57:07 GMT -5 ladybug said:

ETAA: it took D a good 25 minutes of crying/blood curdling screaming the first night to calm down on her own. But now she just rolls on over and goes to sleep- maaaaybe whines for 3-4 minutes.

Did you go back and check every few minutes or just wait it out? I tried with Elias and I would go back and check on him, let him know everything was okay without picking him up but gently trying to pat him or soothe him and it was not working at all even after 45 minutes. He cried so hard he threw up and I felt so awful. It didn't seem like it was going to stop any time soon and I knew he was exhausted so I was surprised he wouldn't just fall asleep. But he really fights his sleep. I don't know, I really don't think I could try again. I was never comfortable with the idea but I was desperate. I did it a total of 2-3 times, I think I would have had to continue for hours...

Sorry cream- didn't mean to hijack!

I ended up just giving her 30 minutes with no check ins at all. It really just makes it so much worse when I went in there. The first night it took two 30 minute chunks and she was out. I went in after 30 and did pick her up and calm her for a few then set her back down, it was about 20 more min until she fell asleep. Then the middle of the night she cried more but I didn't let it go quite as long. The next night took one 25 min crying session until she was out for the first stretch. Then by the 4th night it was 8 min, etc. I keep semi- detailed notes that I like to look back on to see our progress

[formerlyllizzyb]

I'm so sorry. I hope you get some answers and that you both get more sleep soon.

[Deleted]

I am so very sorry as well. I hope you both get some sleep very soon!

[eav2c]

I'm sorry, Cream. I'm dealing with the same thing here. In 11 months I have never slept more than two hours at a time. When I get two hours I feel magnificent too. My H and I haven't shared a bed since August because we manage the most sleep with C and I bedsharing. It's awful and Im losing it. I am sorry you're dealing with this too. I wish I had advice but I can sympathize for sure. We actually did meet with a sleep specialist several months back. Some babies can't be sleep trained, some babies are just... This way. It will get better -- this isn't a forever thing but I know the lack of sleep right NOW is enough to send someone over the deep end. There are times I seriously wonder if I can be a truly efficient mother if I am not rested but I somehow get through each day and night. All I can say is, you're not alone. I can completely relate and sympathize. ((hugs))

[raynes]

Oh cream, I'm so sorry. I can totally sympathize with how crazy making that sort of sleep schedule is. Owen was up every 45-60 minutes last night until around 4. It makes it very difficult to try and fight off an impending cold.

We followed a gentler sleep training plan back in early December that bean shared with me that worked wonders. It was a hybrid pick up/put down and sleep lady shuffle plan that never had him crying for more that 3 minutes at a time between pick ups and had me right there talking to him the whole time. It didn't take too long before he was able to put himself to sleep, and while he's still crap at putting himself back to sleep, it made a HUGE difference. If you want, I can share the specifics of the plan with you, just let me know.

I know how incredibly frustrating it is to be holding on to a baby that screaming and thrashing around inconsolably in the MOTN. It really wears a person down.

((Hugs))

If you ever need someone to vent to, I'm here!

[pippilongstocking]

I have no advice but I really hope things start to get better for you soon.

[Dorothy Zbornak]

Feb 27, 2013 17:44:33 GMT -5 creamsiclechica said:

I've tried putting her in by herself for a few minutes, and the screaming like escalates to that choking/gagging cry. Her standing in the crib has been the worst thing ever, because no matter what, when she wakes up, she immediately stands up and cries. She can get herself down, but just won't, and gets increasingly upset until we come in.

We see the ENT on the 20th about her ears. I just had her to the pedi yesterday and they said her ears are clear now, but I mean, this can't be normal. DH is trying to help, but most of the time, she just wants me and won't even remotely calm down for him.

I'm just at a loss. She hasn't cut any teeth since December (when she got 6 at once), but she still has a runny nose, so maybe even if her ears are clear, there's still sinus pressure? This is just brutal.

Oh man. I am so sorry. I am with the others that it must be an organic problem. Something HAS to be bothering her. While I know I'm apparently in the minority with you about being against CIO, I seriously would not think to do that now. Can you get the ENT appointment pushed up?

[bebeetmoi]

I'm so sorry to hear her sleep is still a nightmare. I think going to see a specialist for her ears and possible sinuses is a great first step. Once and if you are able to rule out illness, and since you know it's not not a hunger thing, she just needs to smooth herself to sleep. Seeing a sleep consultant sounds like it could be really helpful. 
And as far as CIO goes- you said earlier that you don't think it will work for her. And while that certainly is the case for some babies, I though the same thing about DD, but CIO was the only thing that actually worked to help her sleep. It sucked, I wont lie. I hated to do it- it was my last resort. But like A is doing, she was up evvvvery hour or less and it just had to stop. I commend you for lasting as long as you have, I could NOT do it anymore. But CIO did work for her and she now puts herself to sleep easily & happily.
Hang in there mama

[laurack]

Also while I am ok with CIO and has worked well for Matilda, when she was "this way" in Ireland I wouldn't have been able to do CIO because it was so obvious to me that something was WRONG with her. If I pick her up and she's still screaming then to me that means something is wrong.

The first week of it was hell, the second week hubby was there too and he helped so it wasn't as bad. I started to give her this "colic calm" drops I found at the pharmacy. And I did colic massage from youtube. When she woke up, hubby would jiggle her very vigorously and she would actually calm down but only his very vigorous jiggling (not mine) did the trick. For me, the only way I could get the screaming to stop was to give her a boob. It kind of seemed to me that my 8 month old baby had gotten colic!

After a few nights of the drops and the massage and the very vigorous jiggling she started to wake only 3-4 times a night, then I think the last two nights she only woke twice then we had to fly home so I was like WTF is it going to start again? But it didn't.

I know this is no help to you at all. But, I just really feel like there might be something to that flying messing them up thing?

I hope the doctor can help you guys!

Also have you thought of getting a night nurse for a night? I've never done it but I have heard of others with very bad sleepers doing it just for a break. I know it's expensive, and it would be so hard to leave her. But, maybe it would help you guys to get one night of sleep?

[katie]

I am sorry, that is really tough. I hope you can get some sleep soon! Let us know how it goes with the ENT. I am wondering if the reflux is kicking back in with solids. If her ears are ok then I know laying down with reflux is painful for them. (((Hugs)))