Being "selfish" during pregnancy

[rjamz]

One of my favorite bloggers is now pregnant and she just wrote an interesting article about how she feels people think she's selfish for focusing on how she wants to do things related to the pregnancy/birth experience rather than just "focusing on the baby." Of course we all want the baby to come as easily and healthy as possible, but I feel like the Mom's experience is just as important. What do you think?

Stop being selfish and focus on the baby

[erniebufflo]

While I do think some people are annoying with their rules and demands for their pregnancy and birth, I think the woman's experience absolutely matters. We're people, not just baby vessels.

[cat19]

I defiantly felt judged when thinking outside the box. DH stood by everything I did or thought, so I pretty much stopped sharing with people irl and shared a lot more with you all.

[shevacc]

And actually, the mom's experience can affect the baby both directly and indirectly (recovering from a difficult birth makes it harder to breastfeed, to keep up with a newborn's demands, etc.). One reason why docs no longer put women under anesthesia and pull the babies out with forceps.

[Deleted]

I think there does have to be a balance. When a women is pregnant she really can't do everything she wants, but there are a lot of things she should be allowed to do if she wants that all doctors wont approve.

I mean like if I wanted to eat cheeseburgers all day, and my doctor told me don't because it is causing x and x will make baby be stressed and born early, then yes I should not eat cheeseburgers. Or if a women has a high risk pregnancy she probably shouldn't do a home birth.

[sno&2peas]

I'm one of those that didn't care what they did to me just get the babies out in the best way possible for them. I knew my birth experience was going to not go as planned (shit always hits the fan for me)... I'm very lucky to have two happy, healthy twins!! Even though I had an emergency c-section (it went very well with minimal blood loss). I did have high pressures for weeks, my kids were in the NICU for weeks but again I was lucky for the outcome I had. My only complaint was the bitch lactation consultant that called me a delinquent pumper and made me feel like shit while my kids were in the NICU. If I had her name I'd go pay her a nice visit!

It was also shitty I got GD at 25w... I really wanted eat a ton of chocolate cakes!

[katfco]

I can see where the writer is coming from, but on the other hand, there are some women who become so caught up in "the experience" that they insist on everything being perfect and going their way, even in the face of research. One thing I always hated about the bump tri boards was the constant whining from women thinking because they were carrying a baby that everything should go their way.
After all, it was their body, they were the ones carrying the baby, they were the ones pushing the baby out, ...

[laurack]

I also don't think it is "Selfish" to want to plan your birth experience. Birth is an amazing thing. And hello, give a woman 9 months while a tiny dot grows into a person and tell her she shouldn't really think about how that person might come out?!

I didn't really have any negative doctor experiences as I never even saw a doctor for prenatal care. My entire pregnancy my prenatal care-ers were completely on board with my plan, so much so that I never really talked about it much as it wasn't necessary. We all knew the plan.

I think as women we obviously have to keep the baby in mind when making these decisions/plans, and we also need to be flexible when it comes to our "plans". Because as I and many others learned, things certainly don't always go according to plan!

[mumegs]

I agree with certain things that you are "supposed" to do, like what you're not supposed to eat and that sort of thing, at that point I think those are minor sacrifices and they aren't worth it if the baby's health is at stake. I was a "moderation" person though, I had coffee and pop here and there and I had a couple drinks. I guess I'm contradicting myself here.

As far as the birth experience, I wasn't really interested in the experience, I just wanted a healthy baby. I didn't plan ahead or do a birth plan or anything. BUT I did insist on getting the epidural, because why go through the pain if I don't have to? DH wanted me to go natural but at that point I was like, I'm the one who has to do it, I'm getting the drugs. You can go natural when you're the one giving birth!