A question about group vacations

[Wrath0fKuus]

So, Mr. Kuus and I aren't really people-people.  We've been trying to change our lives and make friends and whatnot since 2009, when we saw "I Love You, Man," but it has only been about two years that we've been successful.  One of the side-effects of having friends now is that sometimes they ask you to go on vacation with them, and since I'm also kind of cheap and the group vacation entailed a ridiculously good deal on a week's stay at a beach house, we decided to go.  Well, Mr. Kuus decided to go, and since the people who invited us are actually my friends rather than his, I agreed.  This vacation isn't just the four of us - it's three couples who are friends, who each decided to invite at least one other couple that they liked, so we know no one except the people who invited us.

Anyway, today Mr. Kuus and I were both greeted by this e-mail.  Bear in mind that the sender is NOT one of the two people we actually know.

Alright everyone, you've all been waiting patiently for this one, so here
it is: the vacation meal discussion.

I have decided to split the food handling into three distinct sections:

   - Snacks & Drinks
   - Breakfast & Lunch
   - Dinner

All meal options are simply that: OPTIONAL. If you don't feel one of them
fits your needs you don't need to partake.

So what do these plans entail? I'm glad you asked, so here we go


Snacks & Drinks

Cost: $15 per person (for the week)

What does it get you: Access to the communal snack horde.

The Plan: We will go out sunday night after we arrive and pile up a large
vehicle full of tasty food and delicious beverages. Food will be things
like; chips, dip, veggies, snack meats, crackers, cheeses, fruits, cookies,
etc. Drinks will consist of things like; soda, water, juices, iced tea,
other various non-alcoholic drinks. It is my hope that we can get large
amounts of general food that everyone will want to eat during the week.
These are not foods for meals, these are foods for munching on, and the
drinks are for whenever.

The Bonus: if you contribute you may request a single snack food and a
single drink preference. This is not a guarantee these items will be
acquired, but that we will try to appease as many people as we can and will
try to make sure there is something for everyone.

The caveat: This should be enough to last us a week, but who knows, if we
have to go get more because we nommed all the snacks and guzzled all the
drinks, then we can address that issue if it happens.


Breakfast & Lunch

Cost:

$50 per person for the week



What does it get you: access to any meals prepared for breakfast & lunch

The Plan:
Breakfasts will be offered daily. we plan to have things like eggs, a meat
substance, toast, some sort of bread like substance (pancakes, waffles,
french toast, etc) various other toppings like veggies, fruit, probably
some cereal on tap.

Lunch will also be offered daily. There will be various easily buildable
meal options for things like salads, sandwiches, maybe tacos or nachos some
day. You get the idea. Again we will endeavor to provide options for
everyone to put their own things together based on what the given lunch
meal is for the day.




Dinners

Cost: $8 - $10 per person, per meal

What do you get: A meal in the evening!

The Plan: We've got some EXCELLENT cooks on hand for this event who would
like to cook you a meal. We are in the process of organizing a tentative
meal plan with those who have volunteered to cook, and will present the
actual meals and their tentative days once they are available. Until then
the plan is that if you want to partake in a meal you will let the cook
know and give them money at least a day in advance (details subject to
change). Once we have a full head count we will acquire the necessary food
and the cooks will make dinner that night for everyone who signed up.
This way if you don't want a particular meal you don't have to sign up for
it and can do something else instead.


The Package Deal

Want to not worry about all this stuff? Cool, me either! Want to give me
$115 between now and Sunday April 28th and never have to think "hey did I
sign up for this meal?" You can Totally Do That!

Okay, it's not really a "deal" per say, but it means not having to think it
about things too hard, and it's a relatively low cost to make sure you're
fed for the whole week. And if you decide you want to go eat out some night
instead, or order pizza for lunch it means you wouldn't lose much for
having done so.

This method will also make things easier on those of us trying to plan and
coordinate this endeavor, so if this even remotely appeals to you then DOOO
EEEET! 


Mandatory Volunteerism

So an important thing, Everyone will need to help with meal prep or clean
up at some point. Even if you don't plan to partake in any of the meals, I
still need everyone to help. So we will be assigning a tentative clean-up
schedule between now and the event. You are welcome to exchange shifts with
anyone who's willing for whatever exchange you can get them to agree on,
but it'll be up to you to organize that based on your own schedules and
games.

This should only require 3 - 4 shifts over the week (like an hour or two
per shift of work), so it's not a whole lot to ask, but it will help ensure
everyone can continue to have a good time during the event and that meals
can run smoothly.

I'm anticipating that no one will have a problem with this, and that it
will all go smoothly. But if by some strange twist you feel this is truly
unjust and refuse to help then talk to me privately about it. But the short
version is that *I* will simply take over your shifts. So any shift you
don't want, you can force on to me. Because at the end of the day I'm less
concerned about what's fair and more about making this event run as
smoothly as possible.

I however cannot guarantee that I will have enough energy afterwards to
keep the kobolds from drooling on you while you sleep, so please consider
carefully. =)





Please give me your reactions; I want to know whether Mr. Kuus and I are simply not suited for human contact.

[gault]

Sounds like less of a vacation and more like a summer camp with chores.

I'm introverted too, and I understand needing to plan for a house with lots of people with different needs...but whoa. It made me tired just reading it.

[ECB]

Oh Jesus Christ. I go on an (almost) yearly trip that has grown to (not kidding you) 17 adults and 9 kids. what we do? Everyone puts into a "fund" - $50 a person. which takes care of kegs, sodas, water, and communal food for breakfast (who one person tends to make because he loves to cook, so this works great for us).

Past that- everyone just buys snacky and lunch food that everyone is allowed to eat. We actually end up w/ too much food when it really comes down to it, especially because lunch is oftgen leftovers from dinner the night before.

Dinner - one couple takes a dinner. From start to finish. Which rocks- you're "on" for one night and that's it. none of this "everyone has to help" but no real plan behind it. And if we have too many people for the nights - the option to take a "buy" is given and then that couple each puts in an additional $50 into the general fund.

What these people are laying out is way too complicated. I realize what we do could sound that way too, but it's actually not. However, we've also had about 15 years to perfect it....

[ECB]

And in thinking about it more - you have 4 couples, right? So 4 nights are covered. Each couple cooks a meal from start to finish on night, order in one night, go out as a group one night, then have a date night.

Lunch can be leftovers/ coldcuts. No need for anyone to "prep" lunch. When you want to eat, eat.

Breakfast- if they want a "real" breakfast, then I also would suggest each couple takes a morning to make breakfast.

ANd it's kind of up to you how much you spend. For dinner, DH and I usually spend about $150. But that, in essence, covers a week full of GOOD meals. Because each couple takes their meal seriously and wants it to be GOOD. Some people may spend less, some may spend more - but in the end, we all get good meals and we're comfortable spending what we spend.

There are MUCH easier ways to handle this week than what this group is laying out. A part of being at the beach is about relaxation. Having to "help" 3 or 4 shifts throughout the week? Sounds painful.

[smock]

I have a friend who would send this exact email, lol! But since she's my friend and I really love her, I just roll with it. If I got that kind of email from someone I didn't know? I'd be thinking "what did I get myself into?!?"

Actually, I can sometimes be the crazy one when it comes to group trip meals. I just like to plan ahead!

[Deleted]

What the fuck is my reaction. And $50 for breakfast per person for the WEEK?? I can buy breakfast for myself for cheap. Eggs, bread, pb and milk. BOOM. $10-$15. What if you don't want to eat those kinds of snacks?

Why can't you buy your own food? This doesn't sound like a fun vacation to me.

[fussbucket]

I need a vacation after reading this post!

[lola]

Oh holy shit. No way.

[partiallysunny]

Fuck. They are making this way more complicated then this has to be.

I'm glad this isn't the person you know, lol.

[cuddlyevil]

That sounds like work not vacation.

What's with the "you can choose one drink and one snack". Are they running a hotel or snack bar? WTF?

When we went away with the IL's everyone kicked in for groceries and helped out with cooking, setting the table, or cleaning up. It wasn't mandatory.

[motzie]

What a pain in the ass. Last group trip we went on each couple made dinner one night for the whole group. Breakfast, lunches, drinks and snacks everyone was on their own. Everyone grocery shopped when we got there, or brought food from home, and everything was shared.

Are there organized activities for this trip too? I'd hate to be forced to wake up for breakfast at a certain time on vacation. I'd rather sleep in.

[So_Fetch]

It sounds like this person either took the bull by the horns (and surprised everyone with this proclomation) or the other couples are communicating without you. I would contact the people you know and just ask WTF is wrong with letter writer? He/She sounds insane. A vacation shouldnt' be scheduled out that way. When we do group weekend trips people are responsible for all their own meals except for one dinner that is basically bring your own meat and something to share.

[neonpink]

To me this personally sounds awful. I'm not a group person either. It doesn't really sound vacation like to me. I honestly though have only been on a vacation with one other couple before. One morning I went out and bought groceries to share, a few days later they bought some. Every night we went out for dinner. We didn't really make a fuss.

What are you going to do?

[Chirp]

That doesn't sound like much fun to me.

It sounds like that person decided they were in charge and they're trying too hard to be funny, which really just makes them annoying.

One question... what exactly is a "snack meat"

I have a vision of this person pushing around a shopping cart full of poster board and gold stars (for the chore charts), Slim Jims, various flavors of beef jerky, jarred meat sticks, Hawaiian Punch and Sunny D.

[wrathofkuus]

I plan to just say a cheery no thanks to the communal rigor and fend for myself when it comes to food and drinks, but for some reason this makes Mr. Kuus nervous.

[ECB]

Mar 7, 2013 12:05:22 GMT -5 wrathofkuus said:

I plan to just say a cheery no thanks to the communal rigor and fend for myself when it comes to food and drinks, but for some reason this makes Mr. Kuus nervous.

Take breakfast and lunch out of the equation for a moment - I wouldn't recommend this for dinner.  At least on our trips, dinner was the one time we all make a point to come together. It was nice to have a meal for everyone to sit down and enjoy together.  Plus- multiple people trying to make their own food at the same time?  PITA. 

Or if you're thinking "we'll just eat later" - it may come across to the other couples that you really aren't all that interested in being on this trip with them.  Which I realize, after that email, may be the case, but...  it could lead these other couples to wondering "who ARE these people? Why did they come?".

W/ our group trip- we're friends from college, basically.  Here and there we've had talks about inviting other people on the trip but a part of that talk is "would this couple really be able to handle this trip and the way we run it?  Would they be able to fit in?".  And because of those concerns, we've never actually branched out (which is good because the trip is now just TOO big as it is). 

If you and MrKuus really do want to branch out, meet people, and you want to make this trip successful - I think totally opting out of the meal aspect could go against that effort.

I totally get the desire to do so, though.  Don't get me wrong.  His email made me cringe.

[ECB]

I just made DH read that email.  He is LOLing and saying "WTF". 

Just so you know more people are commiserating w/ you.    DH was like "That doesn't sound like a vacation".

[wrathofkuus]

I am so glad it's not just us.

[partiallysunny]

I agree with ECB. I'd pitch in the money for dinners and let them know you are fending for yourself when it comes to breakfast and lunch.

[Deleted]

How about we all go on a group vacation together? Seems like we get what each other is looking for in a vacation.