Feeling discouraged - silly venting

[sonrisa]

The take home message from today's appointment is the issue is my age - 37. (Not a big secret, but also nothing I can change). He still had a number of recommendations and possibilities. We both liked the doctor - in fact he taught DH as a med student back in the day.

DH walked out of the appointment wanting to continue to try with OPKs. Not only is that what he wants, he got very angry at the idea of doing anything else. WTF? We've been at this since december of 2011. OPKs not only have failed to produce a baby,  NONE of them ever predicted ovulation - despite using four different brands over many, many months.  Even though I got pregnant once. Clearly I ovulated at least once. ARRRRGGGGHHHH. 

It isn't a money thing. Our insurance coverage is great so everything is a $5 copay (at least up until IVF - he didn't specify but I assume that has some cost.) In fact, doing another cycle of OPKs will cost more than sonogram to track follicle development/LH shot/timed sex which is the route I'd like to go. Arrrrrggggghhhhh.

And - I'm in my 2ww so no drink for me (plus he wants me to stop drinking). Just insomnia fun.

[lola]

I think the hardest thing is when you and your H (the general "you" not you specifically) don't agree on the next step. Is there a middle ground? Three more cycles of OPKs, then on to the next step?

[discogranny]

I'm sorry you guys are not on the same page, that really sucks. What is your husband's rationale?

My DH was kind of weird when we first started but he later told me that it was his fear that things wouldn't work for us compounding on him. He's now of the (not very healthy) mindset that we should just keep throwing money at this problem until it goes away. Hopefully your DH will come around.

[G22]

My H was a bit iffy when he heard our first option was going to have to be IUI. He's on board now but, I know he'll be iffy when/if IVF is put on the the table. I think anytime a big step like this comes up, there is always going to be a lot of what ifs and questions.

I don't have much advice but good luck. Anytime my H and I don't agree on stuff, we usually just take a break from talking about it (even if its just for a few hours) and then come back to the topic. Sometimes if we don't agree, we just go around in a circle and never get anywhere. Sometimes, that break is all we need.

[Jalapeñomel]

I´m sorry sonrisa. What are his reasons for not wanting to proceed forward?Could it be possible that he´s scared to do testing for himself in case there is something wrong with him (which I can totally relate to)?

[sonrisa]

I don't know what it is. He already did his SA. (Although it took him six months to give the sample after they asked for it. Arrrgggghhhh.) It was a prerequisite for seeing the RE. I'm really annoyed with him right now. I'd think he wasn't sure about a second kid, except he talks about it all the time. Plus, he was so excited about the lost pregnancy and so sad about the m/c.

[mae141]

I'm sorry he's being difficult. Maybe he just needs some time to process everything? It's not like what you want to do is that strange or fancy or really anything different on his end.

Also, I love Knuffle Bunny.

[BNL2]

Hugs sonrisa. I can kind of relate I feel like I have had to drag DH along on every step of our IF journey. He eventually comes around, but his default is to be overly optimistic about whatever we're doing at the time. It's frustrating as hell.

[KaraOrNot]

Ugh, that sucks. What does he say when you say that you want to move on to something else?

[JayhawkGirl]

I've been thinking about you.

I'm sorry dh is wanting to keep on the same path. Would he be open to at least clomid (oral meds) and timed intercourse? We went straight to clomid with iui, given age and how long we had been trying and tmi...lack of much good cm, which clomid can worsen. I wanted the monitoring too. OPKs were worthless for me. The oral meds cost less than the opk sticks, too.

If you have good insurance take advantage!!! I'm headed into round 7 and while our 2013 plan is better than our 2012 plan, we are still paying a sizable amount oop each round. Maybe appeal to his practical side?