Really Bummed

[vmars]

Aw I am sorry I know how you feel...the first week of the 2 week wait I am super hopeful and by week 2 I know AF is coming and it sucks. I thought I would get KU right away and not so much. Just try and focus on all the things you can do now that you are not pregnant like have a big glass of wine

[lola]

I'm sorry TR. I am thinking good thoughts for you guys, and hope you get your BFP soon! (hugs)

[Deleted]

I'm sorry TR. Try not to get caught up in the statistics because everyone is different. You did get a bfp your first cycle so I think it is a little hasty to come to the conclusion that you are going to have trouble ttc. Just try to relax and take it month to month.

[Cricket0619]

I know it's frustrating and I get what you are saying about feeling bad because it hasn't been as long as some others, but it's still really hard. It will happen. I still think it's crazy that people can so easily get pregnant without trying and it's so hard to get pregnant when trying. I was with 4 girlfriends a couple weeks ago and they all said they got pregnant the first cycle and I felt bad later on that night that it hadn't happened for me yet. Hang in there!

[thoseareradishes]

Aww, TR, I'm sorry! Don't apologize for your feelings, it always sucks to get a BFN. Its ok to be sad.

[simpsongal]

I'm exactly where you are, TR (minus the D&C, I'm so sorry!). Also on cycle 4 and having all the same anxiety. Feel free to let it out here. I wandered over to the trouble TTC board and felt so guilty about my attitude (their State of ute has plenty of 12+ cycle posters). But it's still hard and it still sux for people in our camp. That poll I posted on MM bummed me out (so many 1-2 month BFPs).  Here's hoping it will happen for us in a next month or two.

Based on your chart, you've still got a chance. But do keep in mind that your timing wasn't great. I've been so irrational about TTC - I'd be super disappointed and expect a BFP even if I knew our timing was off. DH thinks we should only be counting 2 or 3 cycles because of bad timing.

Good luck!

[vmars]

Mar 18, 2013 11:48:39 GMT -5 Cricket0619 said:

I know it's frustrating and I get what you are saying about feeling bad because it hasn't been as long as some others, but it's still really hard. It will happen. I still think it's crazy that people can so easily get pregnant without trying and it's so hard to get pregnant when trying. I was with 4 girlfriends a couple weeks ago and they all said they got pregnant the first cycle and I felt bad later on that night that it hadn't happened for me yet. Hang in there!

Oy that would drive me crazy....it always makes me think well what's wrong with me?

[Cricket0619]

Mar 18, 2013 11:58:53 GMT -5 vmars said:

Mar 18, 2013 11:48:39 GMT -5 Cricket0619 said:

I know it's frustrating and I get what you are saying about feeling bad because it hasn't been as long as some others, but it's still really hard. It will happen. I still think it's crazy that people can so easily get pregnant without trying and it's so hard to get pregnant when trying. I was with 4 girlfriends a couple weeks ago and they all said they got pregnant the first cycle and I felt bad later on that night that it hadn't happened for me yet. Hang in there!

Oy that would drive me crazy....it always makes me think well what's wrong with me?

Yes, it's so hard not to think that.  I have so many friends that I know that got pregnant the first month, it's crazy.  I know it can take up to a year, but it still stings. 

[katieb4tom]

I totally understand the week 1 optimism and the week 2 pessimism! What is that about?!?! I also think people fudge the truth because they feel like they need to say it was easy. Honestly, with my first pregnancy people would ask how long it took us (three cycles, fyi) and I felt pressure to say it took no time at all. Why? I don't know, it's weird!

[FastHands]

Mar 18, 2013 10:22:58 GMT -5 TR said:

  I see the stats that 80% of couples will be pregnant within 6 mos, but then only another 5% will be pregnant by a year

Wow..... I kind of wish I didn't know that. LOL

Never feel selfish or petty for feeling what you feel. There's nothing wrong with it, and there's not much you can do about it anyway, so you might as well cut yourself some slack.

I hope it happens for you soon!

[Jalapeñomel]

Getting a BFN whether you´ve been TTCing for 3 years or 3 months sucks. I also imagine it would be even harder after a m/c. I hope you get your BFN soon.

[HoneySpider]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way

[lola]

Mar 18, 2013 21:02:56 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm sorry I feel awful for feeling like I am a failure even after not "really" trying hard the last two cycles (didn't pay attention to the timing very much). I was hoping I would get pregnant right away. But this cycle we are trying harder.

And I am already worried that it'll take us a long time just because we didn't get pregnant by being careless. I know this sounds dumb because there are a lot of others who have been trying a lot longer than us. But we have a right to our feelings.

I seriously wonder how the hell so many people end up pregnant when apparently it is NOT AN EASY THING TO DO! lol.

[FastHands]

Mar 18, 2013 21:02:56 GMT -5 mekiakoo said:

I'm sorry I feel awful for feeling like I am a failure even after not "really" trying hard the last two cycles (didn't pay attention to the timing very much). I was hoping I would get pregnant right away. But this cycle we are trying harder.

And I am already worried that it'll take us a long time just because we didn't get pregnant by being careless. I know this sounds dumb because there are a lot of others who have been trying a lot longer than us. But we have a right to our feelings.

Love the bolded. I find I'm in a much better place emotionally if I can just feel whatever I'm feeling and then move on, rather than feeling it and THEN feeling bad about feeling it.. and THEN feeling bad about feeling bad. My time and mental energy is worth more than that, and I'm not going to spend time punishing myself for feelings that are only natural and that I can't UNfeel once I've felt them. Easier said than done, of course, buuuut I'm working on it.