My SIL just got engaged. She's been married several other times. She set her wedding date to be 3 days after ours. Out of 365 days in a year, she chooses 3 days after us.
She is a huge one upper, anything we do, she goes and does only more "outspoken" and showy. She tried to make our wedding all about her and during our wedding all we heard was "oh I cannot wait to get married again!". She wasn't legally divorced yet.
If her personality was NOT like this, 3 days after us wouldn't bother me so much/at all. But instead of celebrating our anniversary, we will be stuck dropping a ton of money to drive to another state to attend her wedding.
I really don't want to go, she cannot be bothered to speak to us and when she does, it's all about how she is better than us, etc.
But we will be expected to go.
I'll get over this but I just want to be petty for tonight.
Post by spitforspat on Mar 20, 2013 21:20:48 GMT -5
Uh. I would not go. She planned her wedding for when your honeymoon is supposed to be (wether you go somewhere, or not). You have a prior obligation, and it's a pretty big one.
Initially I thought you meant you were getting married three days before her, then I realized you were talking about your anniversary. At least you know it is petty....
Post by pantsparty on Mar 20, 2013 21:24:59 GMT -5
Like plane tickets / hotels that can't be cancelled? If you were about to lose money, I can see being annoyed. But...free drinks and cake! Hopefully. I uphold your annoyance if there's not an open bar.
I'm not telling anyone else I'm annoyed, it's not worth telling anyone else. I'll get over it, but I just made our plans earlier this year and don't know if to cancel or keep or what.
Ugh. I would be annoyed. DH and I go away for our anniversary every year. This year our plans were done 4 months ahead of time. I would be annoyed that my sister would assume I would cancel/change my plans for her FOURTH wedding.
Post by deanlicker78 on Mar 20, 2013 21:30:48 GMT -5
I get being annoyed that you're expected to change plans and drop money on a fourth wedding. My exSIL planned her wedding for my due date when I was pregnant with Lucas, I was pregnant before she go engaged so she knew what she was doing. I was freaking livid. It was her 3rd wedding and her H had just turned 21 and was 15 years younger than her. That we spent a dime on that train wreck still annoys me to this day.
Talk to your dh, and decide. I'd go on the trip. If you do not want to go, it's ok to send along a nice gift and a warm note saying how you hope she'll be very happy.
so, suesue. the year is 2024. your older son is about to get married for the 3rd time, 3 days after your younger son's 5th wedding anniversary. younger son is like "i'm sending a nice gift and a warm note, and going to denver to ski instead." and you're going to be all "no prob! see you all for corned beef and cabbage on st. patrick's day!"
I think a lot of my annoyance is coming from the fact that we finally made plans for our anniversary. We didn't do a honeymoon, we didn't do anything really for our first anniversary. This is our 2nd anniversary and I was excited to actually get these plans done.
I think I'm still stuck in that "weee, it's our 2nd year anniversary!" newness stage. I know it doesn't matter much after the honeymoon, but man.
More than likely we will end up going. But if she gets married for a 5th time. No. lol.
i'd be bummed to. i'm not too tied to dates (for about 6 months, i kept getting my own kid's birthdate wrong, and i was there. and birthing her). so i'd be cool moving my "anniversary" celebration to another weekend. but i know other people aren't like that .
so, suesue. the year is 2024. your older son is about to get married for the 3rd time, 3 days after your younger son's 5th wedding anniversary. younger son is like "i'm sending a nice gift and a warm note, and going to denver to ski instead." and you're going to be all "no prob! see you all for corned beef and cabbage on st. patrick's day!"
So cville. the year is 2002, my sister who lives here in town, I'm her only family, announces she's getting married in six weeks, her third wedding. I was in the other two; we were really close. The wedding was on July 4. We had made plans to go to a family reunion in another state. Not only did I go to the reunion, all five of our other siblings and stepmother, and her two children, did too. Third wedding, sis.We've all seen it and done it before, twice. Enjoy! I helped her find her wedding dress, I bought her wedding cake, I got her a nice gift, and did what we'd planned before. No, I would not be upset if this was how one of my sons did things with my other son's third or fourth wedding.
alrighty. i think the 6 week lead time and holiday wedding are big factors in this story, but i accept your premise.
I think a lot of my annoyance is coming from the fact that we finally made plans for our anniversary. We didn't do a honeymoon, we didn't do anything really for our first anniversary. This is our 2nd anniversary and I was excited to actually get these plans done.
I think I'm still stuck in that "weee, it's our 2nd year anniversary!" newness stage. I know it doesn't matter much after the honeymoon, but man.
More than likely we will end up going. But if she gets married for a 5th time. No. lol.
Where are you going? I need to know in order to determine if you can skip her wedding or not. If you have non-refundable tix to Hawaii, I give you a pass (that shit is expensive!). If you are driving to Atlantic City, get over it.
Also, seriously, you don't get dibs on 2 weeks out of the year forever.
I have a hard time imagining one of Sue Sue's kids being married 3 times. It doesn't fit with my expectations of her kids
OP, if anyone is pissed, let them be pissed. If anything, they're pissed you have a good excuse to skip the third or fourth or whatever wedding. You can always go to her next wedding.
This reminds me of a couple of years ago when someone got married on my birthday. I quietly pretended that her wedding cake was birthday cake. It was not how I wanted to spend my day, but I shut my mouth and smiled through it.
I never got a thank you note from that wedding. I just realized that. Bah!
This reminds me of a couple of years ago when someone got married on my birthday. I quietly pretended that her wedding cake was birthday cake. It was not how I wanted to spend my day, but I shut my mouth and smiled through it.
I never got a thank you note from that wedding. I just realized that. Bah!
Aw Gozf, this makes me want to hug you.
5 years from now, I'll probably forget when she got married and it will be no big deal.