H is here

[verycontrary247]

He came in, put his uniform in the washer, then went into our room and locked the door. Didn't say a word to me. I knocked on the door and asked if he would come out and have a civil conversation- no response.

What the heck am I supposed to do here?

[Kristinmo]

Please be careful.

[lsea0323]

If you haven't already, start keeping a journal of everything that is going on. Every little detail, no matter how seemingly small.

And yes, please be careful. Such a drastic mood/personality shift is concerning. I would keep to yourself and continue moving forward as you have been.

[karmasabiotch]

Don't engage him. You tried he wasn't interested. Make it seem like your too good to deal with his crazy ass.

[iamgrace]

I think I would go out for coffee.

[lsea0323]

Oh, and throw a bottle of bleach in the washer.


lol. kidding of course.

[verycontrary247]

Mar 21, 2013 16:19:53 GMT -5 Lucy Honeychurch said:

Don't speak to him. Get a lawyer. And call his goddamn chain of command, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. Have you done this yet? Because YOU NEED TO, before he does something with the money.

NAIL HIS ASS TO THE WALL.

I contacted the ombudsman for his ship yesterday, who said they would notify his CMC and get me into contact with the family advocacy rep. 

I already opened a new account under my name only and transferred money over. 

I have a meeting set up with a lawyer tomorrow.

[Deleted]

Take your cats and get the hell out of there. Please.

[verycontrary247]

Also- FIL just called back. He didn't know anything about what happened and legitimately missed my call yesterday.

I told him H said he wants a divorce and I do too, but now H is refusing to talk to me. I also mentioned I did not want H here until an official separation agreement has been drawn up. FIL says he would try to get into contact with him.

[verycontrary247]

Mar 21, 2013 16:30:54 GMT -5 TR said:

Mar 21, 2013 16:29:06 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I contacted the ombudsman for his ship yesterday, who said they would notify his CMC and get me into contact with the family advocacy rep. 

I already opened a new account under my name only and transferred money over. 

I have a meeting set up with a lawyer tomorrow.

Did you transfer half of the money? I think I saw you mention $150 somewhere. If that's not half, take half. Worst case scenario you give some back later if they make you, right?

* I am not a lawyer nor do I play one on the Internet, but that's what I'd do.

I took a decent chunk of money I have been setting aside (from my own wages) to pay back my mom for school AND an extra $150 in cash until I get a new card.

[vicky]

((hugs)) Stay safe. Remain calm if he engages. Do not allow him to intimidate you.

[Deleted]

I have a bad feeling about this. I think you should leave.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Do you really need to talk to him? Is there anything that needs to be said that can't be done through your lawyer when the time comes?

[verycontrary247]

Mar 21, 2013 16:49:09 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

Do you really need to talk to him? Is there anything that needs to be said that can't be done through your lawyer when the time comes?

I want this to be uncontested so it doesn't have as long of a separation period. I need to know what things are important to him so I can bring that up when consulting a lawyer.

[Wrath0fKuus]

Ah.  I get the feeling that he's going to make it long and drawn-out either way, even though he wants it, too.

[textbookcase]

I also think you should leave. He's acting like a child and I'm not sure I'd feel safe with his erratic behavior. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm not sure where you are and I doubt you're close to where I am, but I've got a couch if you need somewhere to crash in the so cal desert!

[verycontrary247]

Mar 21, 2013 17:00:18 GMT -5 Wrath0fKuus said:

Ah.  I get the feeling that he's going to make it long and drawn-out either way, even though he wants it, too.

lol in that case I'm demanding alimony!

[verycontrary247]

I don't have anywhere I can stay that I can bring the cats too at the moment, and I'm not leaving them.

I want him to leaaaaave.

[kcr1972]

He has the option of barracks for free, you dont . There is no reason you should be the one to leave. I would call the mps at the least little hint of trouble.

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2013 17:04:25 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I don't have anywhere I can stay that I can bring the cats too at the moment, and I'm not leaving them.

I want him to leaaaaave.

Put out a facebook request for friends in the area who may be able to temporarily take your cats for a couple of weeks?  Or contact a few close and trusted friends.


If they would get along with my pets I'd be happy to do it in this situation for a short time. 


Not sure how big the area you live in is, but we actually take our cat to a kennel when we go away.  THere are a few different ones within 45 minutes of our house.  So not as common as dog boarding but it may exist.

Your vet also may be able to board them. 

[margotmacomber]

Hopefully his CoC will send his ass straight to the barracks (or whatever you guys call them).  I've seen that happen plenty of times in the Army.  Especially if you mention infidelity.  Add in some aggression, and they should make him relocate.  Seriously, you should take him for everything you can.  And since you already contacted his CoC, I hope his career is seriously fucked for a minute.

[pinkeggs]

Mar 21, 2013 17:04:25 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I don't have anywhere I can stay that I can bring the cats too at the moment, and I'm not leaving them.

I want him to leaaaaave.

What about a pet-friendly hotel? Just until you can get him out of there.

[karmasabiotch]

Do you feel like your physical safety is at risk?

There are temporary foster homes for animals when your in a situation line thus. Call rescues.

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2013 17:04:25 GMT -5 verycontrary247 said:

I don't have anywhere I can stay that I can bring the cats too at the moment, and I'm not leaving them.

I want him to leaaaaave.

See if your vet will hold them.

I really think you should leave.

[Kore]

Ditto boarding them at the vet if you need to. Or finding a pet friendly hotel:

hotels.petswelcome.com/

If you don't have carriers, put the cats in boxes, or even duffel bags.

[nightandday]

I don't know much of your story, but after you posted about his bizarre behavior with the car, I'd be wary about being alone with him. Personally, I'd want to stay, but I wouldn't feel safe. Please take care of yourself.

[amberlyrose]

Please leave and go to the base hotel. They allow pets and cheap rooms based off rank.

[panicked]

Where are you located (you can PM me if you don't want to put it out there). We're Army, but I have connections to posts/bases all over. I will do everything I can to help you with anything you need.

[Deleted]

((Hugs)) Keep you and your cats safe. Here is a link for all hotel chains that are pet friendly in case the base hotel is full. 

www.tripswithpets.com/pet-friendly-hotel-chains 

[verycontrary247]

FIL called back and since H is ignoring his calls he's going to come over and try to talk him out.