Travel without kids

[anna7602]

I was trying to coordinate leaving DD with either DH or the grandparents so I could go to Mozambique last year, but my whole plan crumbled when the friend I was going to visit there moved. DD was 4 last year. We also tried to go to the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona without her last summer, but my MIL couldn't come stay with DD at the last minute so DD came with us.

I love traveling with DD, but there are some things I'd rather do without her, like New Year's or Carnaval in Rio (our next plan). I don't think there's any shame in admitting this. It drives me crazy, however, when people say there's no point to traveling with kids because kids won't appreciate it. I understand if you prefer to travel on your own, but don't tell me it's pointless to expose a kid to other places.

[Brit]

I'm not sure when I would be ok with leaving DD with grandparents. She needs to be old enough to understand that she is going on vacation to see them and that we will be back. It probably also depends on how close she is with them; I don't think she will be very close with them because they all live far away and she will only see them a few times per year.

H has been wanting to do a long backpacking/surf trip on some relatively undeveloped island in the South Pacific and I just can't wrap my mind around how that could be kid friendly, but DD is definitely not old enough to be left behind. She gets really upset when H travels for a few weeks for work. I can't imagine how she would feel if I were gone too.

anna7602 - My H's boss has brought her kids to Rio for Carnaval several times beginning when they were as young as five. She thought it was NBD. I can definitely see why you would want to go alone though!

[frlcb]

You know I am a HUGE proponent of traveling with kids, but we also like time without them and if that makes me sound awful so be it We left ds with grandparents at 6 months for a weekend trip, and then several after that, and then right after he turned 2 we went to SE Asia for 2 weeks without him.

[vegas]

It depends on the length of the trip and the distance from home that I'm traveling. I also think this is an extremely personal decision. We left DD at 1 to travel to Mexico and again 2 months later to travel to the Caribbean. We had one trip planned before we got pregnant and the other trip was a last minute deal that we couldn't pass up. It was hard but honestly, it was worth it. We might have felt ok going a bit sooner but couldn't because I was nursing and didn't want to deal with the hassle of pumping. Nursing issue aside, I don't know that I would have felt comfortable leaving my son at such a young age while we left the country. Again, everyone handles the separation from kids differently, for me 1 was the magic age for my comfort level.

I love traveling with my kids, but I think you need to experience time away for the sake of your marriage. DH and I love to travel and didn't want to give that up when we had kids. We travel with them for most of our trips but we try to take a trip on our own at least once every other year. This year we are going on an Alaskan cruise and leaving the kids with my sister and mom. My youngest will be 1 is that will be our first trip away from her.

[anaps28]

When DS was 6 months we did a weekend in Napa and then when he was 9 months we went to Costa Rica for a week. I have also traveled for work 4 or 5 days at a time. I don't think I could leave him for more than a week though. Being gone for a week without him was really tough every time it happened. It was easier when I traveled for work bc I knew my H was there with him.
Everyone is different but I think its important to take that time for your marriage.

[mrssandro]

We did a short weekend to South Padre island when she was about 8 months. Left her with my mom. My birthday weekend. I was still bf and I pumped and saved my BM for her.

Then we did our 5 year anniversary in Kauai she was almost 2. My mom came and stayed at our house.

We took her on her first vacation at 2 1/2 to key west. She did really well for a two year old.

We are going to St Lucia in a couple of months and she will be 3 1/2 she is going to her grandmothers for the week.

We are doing a family trip (including grandparents) to Kauai in December. She will be 4.

I am all for taking her on trips. I never did this growing up but I do feel having some alone time with my husband is awesome. We like to explore and reconnect. I think it's good for my sanity and our marriage.

Edit: I will add that she gets really excited about going to her grandmothers and it means the world to my mother to visit with her. She lives in Austin and never gets to see her. My inlaws get to see DD daily. She seems to really enjoy it and gets excited for weeks before she gets to see her. It's like a vacation for her. 

[mrsstreet]

My inlaws live an hour away so DD is already accustomed to spending the night at their house. We have left her a few times for a weekend stay while we traveled for weddings, etc. She has already done several trips with us for weekend stays with friends and a week long vacation to Mexico.

We plan on leaving her in May for a weeklong trip to San Francisco and Las Vegas (conference for DH's work) and she will split time between both grandparents.

We are planning another Europe trip in 2014 for our five year anniversary to the Christmas markets. We will probably be gone for two weeks. She will be 2 1/2 then.

I agree with pp that taking time for yourselves is important. We plan to include travel for ourselves to reconnect and just enjoy being away together. However, I'm amazed at how many critical responses I read on trip advisor when planning our trip to Playa Del Carmen towards people who were asking questions about traveling with their children. Many responses were so negative and questioned why someone would want their children on vacation with them. I don't quite understand that philosophy but to each their own, I guess.

[SJ]

Mar 22, 2013 5:56:20 GMT -5 Brit said:

It probably also depends on how close she is with them; I don't think she will be very close with them because they all live far away and she will only see them a few times per year.

I think this is a HUGE part of it.

When I was young, my mom's parents lived next door to us, and my dad's parents lived 10 minutes away. We started doing overnights at their homes when we were a few months old, and traveling with them (parents stayed behind to work) when we were preschoolers. They were young (my grandma was 47 when I was born) and very active, no health concerns, etc for many years.

When I was 6 years old, I spent 2 months with my grandparents in South America away from my parents. We were all comfortable with it, and I think a HUGE reason for that is that when in the States, my grandparents lived next door so I saw them all the time. My grandma is very much like my mom in personality and style and so I was used to treating her as a parental/authority figure. She knew my daily routine, how to style my hair, how my parents disciplined me, etc. I thought it was a grand adventure and had a blast!

However, I can't imagine any of us would have though this was a good plan if I had only seen them a few times per year. I do look at 6 year olds now and find it pretty amazing that I was away from my parents for so long at that age.

We have no idea yet what we will be comfortable with when we have our own children, but we certainly hope to both travel extensively with them and be able to leave them behind. But we also know how much we don't know, and none of that may be possible for a variety of reasons!

[rootbeerfloat]

For us, leaving our kids for a few weeks means leaving them with my parents, who are currently in their 60s. My kids need to be self-sufficient enough that caring for them for that length of time wouldn't be exhausting for my parents. H and I have talked about going to Europe (coming from HI, this would be a major trip for us) when the kids are 6/7 and 10/11, basically once DD is in elementary school.

We tend to be the kind of people that take our kids everywhere, though, and prefer to travel with them.

[sushi]

Young! I know my parents skied for a week when mom was pregnant with my sister, so I would have been just over a year. They regularly took trips throughout my childhood, and I don't think I'm worse off for it, even if I was jealous. We still went on trips with them.

I think the bigger issue is finding grandparents who are willing to take children still in diapers

[thejen626]

For a few weeks at once? I'm not sure, that's a long time! I first left DD1 overnight when she was 4 months old, and left her for 4 nights when she was 11 months old. We do frequent weekends away, but haven't left her for longer than 4 nights yet. I just left DD2 overnight for the first time, she's 5 months old. DH and I are leaving for a long weekend to SF in a few weeks.

My mom left me and my brother when we were in elementary school, she went to Europe for 3 weeks. We stayed with Grandma and had a blast!

[msturtle143]

What a great topic as DD is now 22 months and we are planning on a short 4-day trip to Cabo without her around Sept or Oct.
She turns 2 end of May.

We've left her for a couple of overnight mini getaways to nearby cities in the past. The first time, she was about 13 months and the second time she was 16 months. The first time was really difficult for me but both times she'd stayed with MIL and she does wonderful with DD than my own family. The second time felt easier.

Honestly, at this age, I feel like she is still too young for us to leave her for a few days to fly somewhere. But I also know that DH and I need our time together so I have been working on trying to be more comfortable with traveling without her. Plus, DH and I have always loved traveling. We don't think it should stop after having kids though of course we are more thoughtful of picking a destination.

I also enjoy going to trip with the little one though and I don't really care that she won't remember any of this later.

[mrsnole]

We are leaving DD with Grammie in two weeks and she is 19 months old. We'll be gone for two weeks. I would have left DD with Grammie from about 6 months if the opportunity arose. DD was a very easy baby and I would have felt comfortable leaving her to go on a trip.

[Deleted]

We've done 1 trip with ds, 1 without thus far and he is 10 months. We have 2 more trips planned this year, both without ds.

The only thing I'm struggling with is the flying. I have a huge fear of leaving him here and our plane crashing.

[shell24]

We left my DD when she was 18 months for 5 days in NYC.  Prior to that she had done plenty of overnights at my mom's.  We hadn't had the opportunity to take a trip before that really.

We left my DS when he was 5 months for a long weekend.  I guess it's easier with the second kid LOL.  Then when he was 14 months old and my DD was 2 we went to Mexico for a week just the two of us. Last year when he was 2 and my DD was 4 we went to Poland/Germany for 10 days and San Fran/Napa for a week.  

I think it's super important to get away without your kids, even if it's just for a long weekend.  We are lucky enough to have my mom and my inlaws near us and excited to have the kids so we definitely take advantage!  

[Shreddingbetty]

DD will be 3 in May and has never spent the night away from us for 2 big reasons: we have no family nearby. DH's parents are 2 hours away but in their late 70s/early 80s and would not be good for taking care of a little one. The other reason is that she is still nursing.

We travel a lot and pretty much 95% of it is family related. We have step kids on the East Coast, my family in Europe and and uncle in Hawaii. So pretty much all our travel involves visiting family which would be weird to do this without DD. we are lucky that she is a great traveler so that definitely helps. We just came back from a week in Rome to visit SD1 who is doing a semester abroad. We actually did a lot of sightseeing and every night our dinners were 2-3 hours long. We walked everywhere and DD walked a fair amount and would go in the Ergo a lot as well. A few times she napped in it as well. So it made sightseeing a little different than if it was without her but for the most part we still did everything we wanted to do. If she was not a flexible child I might feel differently about traveling with her.

At this point I would not feel comfortable leaving her overnight but that is mainly because I don't have a babysitter I would feel comfortable for using overnight and none of the people that I would comfortable with stay at home so that would be an issue as well during the work week. Not sure when this will happen. If I had parents that I was really close to and they spent a lot of time with DD it would be different. At this point I would not leave Dd overnight with my parents since Shelly sees them once a year. She would probably be OK if we had to but I would prefer not to. My parents are also in their late 70s so that makes a difference as well.

I think it mostly comes down to having a trustworthy babysitter. If you have close family it makes a big difference.